Terrible Jokes Thread

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loudgas

Golden Baronet of the Realm
3,777
18,800
janitorJumpOutClosetSupplies.jpg
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,425
11,872
Was the janitor chinese?
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,425
11,872
I get my stereotypes mixes up. Can chinks not say R, or L?
 

Fucker

Log Wizard
11,406
25,660
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing! You already told her twice.
 
  • 2Solidarity
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 2 users

Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole
11,918
42,388
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing! You already told her twice.

Whats the first thing a woman should do when she gets home from the battered spouse shelter?

The dishes, if the bitch knows whats good for her
 
  • 1Worf
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 users

TJR

Avatar of War Slayer
2,201
25,790
Did you now....
Before the crowbar was invented, crows used to drink at home.
 
  • 4Like
Reactions: 3 users

PreacherX

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
5,378
21,892
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-morse code.
 
  • 2Like
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 2 users

Argarth

On the verandah
1,206
1,045
Test Cricket... out in the middle:

Renowned Aussie fast bowler walking back to his mark (after having just been hit for a boundary), remarks as he passes the offending (and somewhat chubby) Indian batsman...

"Hey son, why are you so fucking fat?"

"Because every time I fuck your mother, she gives me a biscuit"
 

PreacherX

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
5,378
21,892
Why do guys always give their jacket to girls when they’re cold?

Because no one wants a blowjob from a girl when her teeth are chattering.
 
  • 4Like
Reactions: 3 users

Scoresby

Trakanon Raider
783
1,436
Anne Frank makes it to heaven and drops a bomb of a Holocaust joke. St. Michael is almost speechless at how terrible it is and professes how horrible the joke was and that it in no way was funny. Anne replied, "guess you had to be there."
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user

Haus

<Silver Donator>
10,941
41,331
Wife : Honey, I have some big news, you should sit down.. I'm pregnant.
Husband : Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad!
Wife : No, you're not...
 

kazjim

Blackwing Lair Raider
295
1,212
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
 
  • 4Like
  • 4Worf
  • 1Barf
Reactions: 9 users

Mudcrush Durtfeet

Hungry Ogre
2,428
-758
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

Best. joke. EVER.
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Garbage
  • 1Faggotry
Reactions: 2 users

PreacherX

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
5,378
21,892
50 shades of grey

#4e5054, #272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c5c5c, #5e5e5e, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, #6a6a6a, #6b6b6b, #6c6c6c, #6d6d6d, #6f6f6f, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676
 
  • 8Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 8 users

Mudcrush Durtfeet

Hungry Ogre
2,428
-758
50 shades of grey

#4e5054, #272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c5c5c, #5e5e5e, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, #6a6a6a, #6b6b6b, #6c6c6c, #6d6d6d, #6f6f6f, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676
LOL.
 
  • 1Garbage
Reactions: 1 user

PreacherX

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
5,378
21,892
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well.
 
  • 2Like
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 2 users

TJR

Avatar of War Slayer
2,201
25,790
My german girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal.
She kept yelling 9.
That's the best I've ever done.
 
  • 10Worf
  • 4Like
  • 1Rimshot
Reactions: 14 users