The Astronomy Thread

Aaron

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/dons tinfoil hat
Maybe they just want us to think this super sekret spy satellite is a failure to throw off the Russians and Chinese...
/takes off tinfoil hat
 
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Tuco

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I doubt it's bullshit. It probably wouldn't fool anyone who cared.

From what I've heard NGC built all the systems that failed (the satellite + the thing that was supposed to release the satellite). Blaming SpaceX gets more clicks than Northrop Grumman though, so I'm sure the media will blame them.

The big space news coming up though is the Falcon Heavy.
 
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Furry

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Well find out how valuable this satellite is or how much the gov cares if spacex's certification comes under evaluation.
 
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Kiroy

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I doubt it's bullshit. It probably wouldn't fool anyone who cared.

From what I've heard NGC built all the systems that failed (the satellite + the thing that was supposed to release the satellite). Blaming SpaceX gets more clicks than Northrop Grumman though, so I'm sure the media will blame them.

The big space news coming up though is the Falcon Heavy.

When it comes to private space fuckery though it makes a difference. Public perception doesn't matter all that much as long as the movers and shakers know what happened, at least for now. Will get more interesting the first human death we have via private space flight (i know we've had some in testing). Some famous person dies on a for pay space trip fairly early on and a lot of jimmies will probably get russeled in the mouth breather low information population.
 
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Blazin

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It's an odd situation, if I was an upcoming or potential Space X customer looking to cut a 9 figure check I would want to know if there was a failure of their launch system. Whatever the nature of the satellite (hint, its just off planet backup of the fappening pics) how is that deterred by just telling us what the failure was if any? I believe I saw a Space X announcement that there was no failure and this is fake news.

edit.. their statement
"For clarity: after review of all data to date, Falcon 9 did everything correctly on Sunday night," SpaceX President and Chief Operating Officer Gwynne Shotwell said in a statement. "If we or others find otherwise based on further review, we will report it immediately.


"Information published that is contrary to this statement is categorically false," Shotwell continued. "Due to the classified nature of the payload, no further comment is possible."
 
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Kiroy

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It's an odd situation, if I was an upcoming or potential Space X customer looking to cut a 9 figure check I would want to know if there was a failure of their launch system. Whatever the nature of the satellite (hint, its just off planet backup of the fappening pics) how is that deterred by just telling us what the failure was if any? I believe I saw a Space X announcement that there was no failure and this is fake news

I'm sure at those levels, you would know what actually happened.
 
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Blazin

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http://www.spacex.com/sites/spacex/files/zumapresskit.pdf

Seems plausible that really wasn't a satellite at all I can't find any source besides media assuming that is was. Mission sheet says Spacecraft multiple times so I went and looked at previous missions and they clearly say Satellite so it doesn't seem to be an issue of nomenclature .

Capture.JPG
 
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Ukerric

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It's an odd situation, if I was an upcoming or potential Space X customer looking to cut a 9 figure check I would want to know if there was a failure of their launch system. Whatever the nature of the satellite (hint, its just off planet backup of the fappening pics) how is that deterred by just telling us what the failure was if any? I believe I saw a Space X announcement that there was no failure and this is fake news.

edit.. their statement
What's interesting is that, apparently, USA280 (the Zuma payload) is still listed without the "decayed" mention, so the package looks to be still in orbit, despite the theories that it remained stuck to stage 2 and deorbited with it. That doesn't clear SpaceX; it might still be in a wrong orbit (too low, with a decay time in weeks rather than months/years)
 
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Tuco

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I'm sure at those levels, you would know what actually happened.
Yeah, I have to imagine that US-based people in that game get enough clearance to get some really good answers about why it failed.
 
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Oldbased

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What's interesting is that, apparently, USA280 (the Zuma payload) is still listed without the "decayed" mention, so the package looks to be still in orbit, despite the theories that it remained stuck to stage 2 and deorbited with it. That doesn't clear SpaceX; it might still be in a wrong orbit (too low, with a decay time in weeks rather than months/years)
Classified satellite fell into ocean after SpaceX launch
They claim it fell into the Indian ocean.
"A highly classified satellite launched by SpaceX this weekend ended up plummeting into the Indian Ocean, a U.S. official confirmed to ABC News."

All seems weird.
 
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Aaron

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Are there seriously no juicy conspiracy theories revolving around what sort of satellite this was? I love reading about shit like this. @Lumie help a bro out, dude?
 
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MusicForFish

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Are there seriously no juicy conspiracy theories revolving around what sort of satellite this was? I love reading about shit like this. @Lumie help a bro out, dude?

Conspiracy theorists claim SpaceX rocket will probe rogue planet Niburu after launch live feed is cut to hide secret cargo

From the citation:
SpaceX Plans Another Nibiru Research Launch | Someones Bones

This is the same glorious site that has bought us such groundbreaking journalism as these gems.

Russian Special Services Apprehend Anunnaki in Crimea | Someones Bones
Putin Bombs Anunnaki in Russia | Someones Bones
Nibiru is Here, says Dr. Trowbridge | Someones Bones


Also, suggestions that it was actually a EMP-like bomb for use against NK.
People think Elon Musk is now involved in a covert war against North Korea

@Lumie What's the flat earthers have to say? Fresh batteries for the "sun and star motif"?
Plausible deniability ftw!
 
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Melvin

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I was thinking that Zuma could have been commissioned and "lost track of" by the kind of government agency that can only fulfill their mission if they have absolutely zero Congressional oversight. My theory looks pretty fucking boring now though.
 
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Pancreas

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Obviously it was a multi stage super secret thing-a-ma-whatsit. Whatever it was supposed to do, it did, and the remaining bit fell back to earth.

Maybe the part that came back was designed specifically to make it seem like it was a failure.

Maybe maybe maybe it launched a parasitic probe that attached to someone elses super secret thingy to extract super space secrets, or inject some fake ones.

Or maybe someone didn't use enough decimal places and just bbq'd a billion dollars.
 
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Aaron

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As a guy who enjoys conspiracy shit, the whole Nibiru/PlanetX/Annunaki shit goes just a little too far for my tastes. It takes a special kind of crazy to believe in that shit. I was actually hoping for something a bit more "mundane" like Melvin Melvin here, some theories as to what sort of espionage mission it was supposed to perform. When you look at the limited data and rumours available for many NSA satellites you get some pretty crazy shit, like bus sized satellites with dishes that expand to the size of football fields designed to capture even the faintest transmissions. You also hear of spy satellites with optics so powerful they can read the headlines on newspapers. That's some pretty funky shit right there.
 
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Oldbased

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Conspiracy theorists claim SpaceX rocket will probe rogue planet Niburu after launch live feed is cut to hide secret cargo

From the citation:
SpaceX Plans Another Nibiru Research Launch | Someones Bones

This is the same glorious site that has bought us such groundbreaking journalism as these gems.

Russian Special Services Apprehend Anunnaki in Crimea | Someones Bones
Putin Bombs Anunnaki in Russia | Someones Bones
Nibiru is Here, says Dr. Trowbridge | Someones Bones


Also, suggestions that it was actually a EMP-like bomb for use against NK.
People think Elon Musk is now involved in a covert war against North Korea

@Lumie What's the flat earthers have to say? Fresh batteries for the "sun and star motif"?
Plausible deniability ftw!
The EMP one came out weeks ago with some decent basis that it was NK related but not anything qualifying it as EMP. Since it was a top secret military cargo this could partially be true but more likely it was some sort of imaging/sensory package. I don't think we are Cobra Commandering EMPs quite yet.
 
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chthonic-anemos

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As a guy who enjoys conspiracy shit, the whole Nibiru/PlanetX/Annunaki shit goes just a little too far for my tastes. It takes a special kind of crazy to believe in that shit. I was actually hoping for something a bit more "mundane" like Melvin Melvin here, some theories as to what sort of espionage mission it was supposed to perform. When you look at the limited data and rumours available for many NSA satellites you get some pretty crazy shit, like bus sized satellites with dishes that expand to the size of football fields designed to capture even the faintest transmissions. You also hear of spy satellites with optics so powerful they can read the headlines on newspapers. That's some pretty funky shit right there.
planet X and other history channel gems could be used as a Voight-Kampff test for potheads
 
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Ukerric

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I was thinking that Zuma could have been commissioned and "lost track of" by the kind of government agency that can only fulfill their mission if they have absolutely zero Congressional oversight. My theory looks pretty fucking boring now though.
The big problem is that every major government can track satellites. Despite all hollywood stories, there's no real stealth satellite. The US govt is deploying a new tracking system that will track every object down to 1/2 inch. While China and Russia probably don't have that resolution, I'm fairly confident that they'd track Zuma. And if it was hidden to bypass congressional oversight, they'd be delighted to announce to everyone that it is in fact operational to derail the process...
 
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Ukerric

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When you look at the limited data and rumours available for many NSA satellites you get some pretty crazy shit, like bus sized satellites with dishes that expand to the size of football fields designed to capture even the faintest transmissions. You also hear of spy satellites with optics so powerful they can read the headlines on newspapers. That's some pretty funky shit right there.
Semi-serious common Fermi Paradox theory: the reason we don't hear anyone is that, within a century, everybody moves to quantum-secured fiber optic coms' and the remaining radio is so heavily encrypted, it's indistinguishable from random noise.
 
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