The D&D thread

What was the spelljammer incident?

Borzak said:

What was the spelljammer incident?

Click to expand...

Had to do with:

A monkey race
Slavery
Black people

Yes, it's as dumb as it sounds

Borzak said:

What was the spelljammer incident?

Click to expand...

WotC tripped over their own lady dicks trying to apologize for printing Spelljammer content that had whatever this monkey pirate race is in it.

The hadozee are a race of bipedal monkey-folk with a love of exploration, who have evolved wing flaps that let them glide like flying squirrels. But many fans took issue with the published backstory of this race, drawing parallels to the history of slavery and making links to racist stereotypes. Now the controversial passages have been excised from the Astral Adventurer’s Guide on D&D Beyond.

Click to expand...

No part of this monkey-squirrel thing is coded African or coded black but here we are.

Hey guys, looking for some input on making a healer for our current campaign. We are doing Princes of the Apocalypse. Our group currently consists of two monks (I'm one), a paladin, a warlock, and a Wizard. Our Wizard used to be a death cleric, who brought zero useful cleric stuff (restoration spells, revivify, etc). She's our friend's wife and just wanted to be like a blood cleric death thingy. She died and rerolled a wizard cause she really just wanted to nuke stuff all along and had no interest in the cleric stuff. Now we are level 14, and our only healing is coming from potions and our paladin, who's saving spells to heal instead of using them to smite, because he's our only "healer."

Tonight, I managed to pull off a quad stun with my monk. I've got the mobile feat and have envisioned a quad-stun since I created the character. I finally did it, and so now I feel like I can put the character to rest and make something that will be better for the party as a whole. So, I'm going to reroll as a healer of some kind whenever our party gets back to a town. We're level 14 so there's lots of flexibility in creating this character.

I did a cleric a couple campaigns ago, and don't -really- want to make a cleric again. In looking at possible healing options, I saw the Divine Soul Sorcerer. I think that's what I want to play. It's got the cleric stuff and can still throw fireballs. I'm on my fourth campaign and have never done a nuker-caster before. I've played cleric, paladin, rogue, and am currently monk. So, I've never thrown a fireball. Divine Soul Sorc seems to me like an option that'll scratch that itch and still bring the healy stuff that our party is currently lacking.

I envision making some kind of support sorcerer that brings "eq enchanter" type support (haste, I dunno what else), and clericy type healing stuff. Any input would be greatly appreciated - spells to take, feats, whatever. Just trying to get some input. Thanks!

divine soul sorc is... fine. you'll have a little bit of healing that you can play around with metamagic and sorcery points with but you'll end up having the same issue as the paladin in that you are an offensive caster that is saving spells to heal instead of what your class is designed to do. i played a wildfire druid for a few sessions. it was a one shot that we continued their stories for 3 or 4 separate one shots, so i wasn't exactly concerned with how functional the character was, but he had some nice balance between nuking and healing, but it's almost mandatory to take the elemental mastery feat so your fire spells aren't being resisted. i was having an issue balancing spell slots for nuking vs healing but the subclass gives you a boost in both fire damage and healing so your spell slots get a little better mileage, but those kinds of classes are ALWAYS going to struggle in that department. Should i heal or do damage?

this might be something you talk to your dm about. i know you said you're already using potions and whatnot and i know that can get expensive if you're having to buy them, but if you explain the dilemma he might be able to supply your team with more potions as treasure. 5e doesn't NEED a healer though it does benefit from one, but if no one WANTS to a play a healer then you shouldn't be forced to slog through an entire campaign playing something you don't really want to play. it absolutely sucks as a high level paladin when you crit and only have a lvl 1 spell slot to dump into it because you're the only healer.

Do more damage and tell people not to stand in the fire.

Good positioning for squishies and focus firing targets does way more to keep a party alive than healing.

Healing kits are a thing and will guarantee a stabilization if someone goes down. Taking the healer feat will allow you to pop people back up with a few hp, once per long rest, while using one.

Paladin can take inspirational leader feat. Once per day you hand out temp hp equal to charisma modifier + level. That's a substantial chunk of hp to absorb incidental damage.

Crowd control is way better than healing. Hypnotic pattern is a winner there.

Your quad stun is probably more effective at preventing damage than just being a heal bot.

Also paladins get an aura of vitality spell that is huge amounts of healing. (Avg is 70 healing per 3rd level slot) Save those level 1 slots for smites. Also lay hands can keep a party fighting for a very long time.

Wizards can use the shield spell to avoid big hits.

Look at sources of disadvantage for enemies. Hiding, dodging, frostbite spell ect. This has more value the less likely the enemy is to hit you. Forcing the enemy to attack a dodging target while ranged characters pelt them is great.

Set up ambushes and nuke stuff into orbit by catching enemies flat footed.

Basically the 5e gives players 101 different mitigation techniques, with doing more damage and killing things fast being chief among them. Healing is for when all your mitigation and playing gud failed and should be done outside of combat.

Either that or play a life cleric and cast lots of prayer of healing inbetween fights.

Hoss said:

I just started playing. Not sure which edition but they're all adventure league games. I'm using a pre-made character sheet and I want to roll my own. Is there a website that will help with that? When I look at all the shit that needs to be filled out on the character sheet it's a little overwhelming. I just want to roll some fucking dice, be led through some decisions and print out the character sheet. I found one called dndbeyond but I can't tell if it's free. When a website says "sign up for free" it usually means that's the last free thing you're going to get. Also, they want to be tied to my google account. I'm sure it's for billing purposes so fuck that.

I think I'm 3 sessions in. first 2 were spelljammer and those kind of sucked. I couldn't get past being in space and using melee weapons.

Click to expand...

DND Beyond is an online repository for the rulebooks/adventures. It also has tools for players to store/track their character sheets. The books, etc. are definitely not free, but I don't use it myself so I have no idea if there's a cost for the character sheet tracking.

5e.tools would be a tremendously useful website for someone like yourself. Hell, it's useful to everyone.

Spelljammer is a niche part of D&D. It's certainly not the setting most campaigns are played in, but it's popular right now because WoTC recently released a (shitty) boxed set for the setting.

Valorath said:

Hey guys, looking for some input on making a healer for our current campaign.

Click to expand...

I got you fam



You want to be the guy on the bottom.

Today, WotC officially announced that every single game designer will have THREE 'cultural sensitivity consultants' to curate every word, map, piece of art, etc of its D&D products.

What a wonderful idea with the company stock already in a full-on nosedive.

Fuck 'em. I can't wait to dance on the corpse of WotC.

Hoss said:

Every designer? So literally 3 useless people for every productive person?

This should soon wind up in the YGWYD thread. And we can still play the old editions.

Click to expand...

They're worse than useless. They're grievance officers. They're anchors. They are being paid to find problems and problems they shall find. The more problems they stamp out the harder it will be to find new ones and the more granular their complaints will be until the entire thing is lukewarm grey sludge with a rainbow flag pattern drink umbrella resting against the lip of the bowl.

So many questions about these "cultural sensitivity consultants"

What are the qualifications for a job like that? Is just being a member of a particular culture enough to qualify? For example, if I'm a black guy, do I qualify to speak for what is offensive to all Black people? Or just all Black men? Could a Chinese female, for example, somehow know what's offensive to all Asians? Japanese? Korean? Vietnamese? Thai? Who is looking out for South Pacific Islanders? If you are a White dude, are you allowed to be a cultural consultant? If not, why not? Obviously, there's no possible way you can have a consultant from every culture out there, so you'd have to have people consulting outside their own culture.

What happens when something is approved by a cultural consultant, but someone gets upset and offended anyway? You know it's going to happen- lots. Does that mean WoTC can say "No, no, we ran this by our Māori checker, and they said it was cool, so that means you can't be offended." Or does a cultural consultant get fired if enough people get upset?

I should apply for the job. Interview "oh yeah, this one needs bigger boobs, this one needs to be less bitchy" Need I go on?

Hoss said:

Now you see why these consultants will all be white. Mostly white females but with a few betamales in the mix. All of these marginalized races can only speak for themselves and can't actually be trusted to even represent their own race/gender very well. Only the woke white has a broad enough skillset to adequately look out for everyone.

Click to expand...

They won't all be white, but they will all be idealogues, people churned out by the universities with degrees in victomology and Cultural Marxism. I've seen a few of them. A lot of them get jobs in the UN and WHO, which is scary.

China churns out something like five million STEM graduates a year. India about 2.5 million. We produce almost none anymore, most of our STEM schools are filled with foreigners as we destroy our own schools, our own students, tell our brightest kids they're racists and white or white-adjacent colonizers blah blah. But we churn out vast quantities of these worthless Victimology assholes. A wealthy society can support a parasitical priesthood for some time, but not forever.

It does not take much to see how this ends: we get conquered by the superior scientists of Asia. End of story.