The Dallas Cowboys Memorial (2015 Off-Season) Thread
- Thread starter AngryGerbil
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How many Hall-of-Famers do you think an average defense yields? To put it another way, what percent of defenses do you think sport 2 future hall of famers?
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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Reporting in. Even when you expect a loss, McFatty somehow manages to make it even more humiliating and painful.
Anyhow, here is my offseason breakdown for the Cheeseheads:
What we need:
1) Long Term Matthews replacement- Clay has been playing dirty lately, which is the surest sign of a D Linemen on the decline trying to make up for it in other ways. We need to make sure he cuts that shit out and start getting his replacement ready, hopefully in time to trade him since shitty teams always overpay for veteran linemen.
2) Anything but AJ Hawk- At this point, a cardboard cutout would be more of an impedance to opponents than he is. He should have been gone two years ago, honestly. On a team with some really bad defensive backfield guys, he stands out as one of the worst.
3) A bunch of TEs and Blocking Backs- Kuhn has been good for us and a bargain, but he is maybe got another year or two left. Our TEs are the worst in the league. What we need are three big physical guys that can block and catch a pass. It will help the running game to have solid lead blockers and a strong middle field threat. This is probably our one and only need on offense.
4) One Vet and one Draft DB- We need an experienced capable coverage guy to lead the team like Woodson used to (or Robinson, Butler, or Cecil before him) and another skilled young guy like Dix to tutor under him. How we do not have more talent, free agent and otherwise, here in the age of the pass is beyond me.
5) Punter- We set a record for how little we punted this year, including two games where no punts happened at all. This jackass still managed to suck balls at it. I am not asking for a high draft pick, but maybe instead of getting Receiver #6 this draft, we pick up a decent prospect from a northern college instead.
What we will get:
1) Clayfaker will continue to play 2/3 a season, checking out at the most critical moments, until his roid use catches up with him and he goes completely to shit, which will happen about the same time Peppers retires.
2) We will draft some undersized guy from some SEC school in the 7th round as a Teddy special.
3) Teddy will draft more wideouts, because he always drafts more wideouts.
4) After he spends the first eight picks on a future bust D Linemen and 7 wideouts, he will pick up a couple bench warmers from division three schools who Teddy thinks show promise. He will also trade away both T.Williams and S.Shields (one of them getting traded is fine, not both) to free up more cap space. Meanwhile all the homers will keep blaming Capers for defensive meltdowns, despite years of this shit going on.
5) We will pick up a guy on waivers who was (and should be) tending bar again. We will keep Slocum on to make sure he fails epically.
I would love to dump our coach too, but that's not going to happen since winning one SB on a fluke earns you sainthood for life in Packerland these days. People will call for Capers head, but honestly with the talent he has had to work with, I actually think he has been doing a good job. You can't put Hawk, Bush, and Jones out on the field and expect to not get torched regularly. Slocum had damn well better be fired, though, or Ted and Fatty better be prepared for something that has not happened since the Danny Devine days, namely fans booing them all game and not showing up.
Anyhow, here is my offseason breakdown for the Cheeseheads:
What we need:
1) Long Term Matthews replacement- Clay has been playing dirty lately, which is the surest sign of a D Linemen on the decline trying to make up for it in other ways. We need to make sure he cuts that shit out and start getting his replacement ready, hopefully in time to trade him since shitty teams always overpay for veteran linemen.
2) Anything but AJ Hawk- At this point, a cardboard cutout would be more of an impedance to opponents than he is. He should have been gone two years ago, honestly. On a team with some really bad defensive backfield guys, he stands out as one of the worst.
3) A bunch of TEs and Blocking Backs- Kuhn has been good for us and a bargain, but he is maybe got another year or two left. Our TEs are the worst in the league. What we need are three big physical guys that can block and catch a pass. It will help the running game to have solid lead blockers and a strong middle field threat. This is probably our one and only need on offense.
4) One Vet and one Draft DB- We need an experienced capable coverage guy to lead the team like Woodson used to (or Robinson, Butler, or Cecil before him) and another skilled young guy like Dix to tutor under him. How we do not have more talent, free agent and otherwise, here in the age of the pass is beyond me.
5) Punter- We set a record for how little we punted this year, including two games where no punts happened at all. This jackass still managed to suck balls at it. I am not asking for a high draft pick, but maybe instead of getting Receiver #6 this draft, we pick up a decent prospect from a northern college instead.
What we will get:
1) Clayfaker will continue to play 2/3 a season, checking out at the most critical moments, until his roid use catches up with him and he goes completely to shit, which will happen about the same time Peppers retires.
2) We will draft some undersized guy from some SEC school in the 7th round as a Teddy special.
3) Teddy will draft more wideouts, because he always drafts more wideouts.
4) After he spends the first eight picks on a future bust D Linemen and 7 wideouts, he will pick up a couple bench warmers from division three schools who Teddy thinks show promise. He will also trade away both T.Williams and S.Shields (one of them getting traded is fine, not both) to free up more cap space. Meanwhile all the homers will keep blaming Capers for defensive meltdowns, despite years of this shit going on.
5) We will pick up a guy on waivers who was (and should be) tending bar again. We will keep Slocum on to make sure he fails epically.
I would love to dump our coach too, but that's not going to happen since winning one SB on a fluke earns you sainthood for life in Packerland these days. People will call for Capers head, but honestly with the talent he has had to work with, I actually think he has been doing a good job. You can't put Hawk, Bush, and Jones out on the field and expect to not get torched regularly. Slocum had damn well better be fired, though, or Ted and Fatty better be prepared for something that has not happened since the Danny Devine days, namely fans booing them all game and not showing up.
moontayle
Golden Squire
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Fatty made his case for being in over his head when he squandered one of the greatest QB seasons ever and a 15-1 record by losing in the divisional round. Take heart, a Super Bowl is usually only good enough to keep someone around for 5-7 years without continued success (see Jon Gruden). The problem is your QB is Aaron-friggin-Rodgers so continued success is inevitable unless the wheels completely come off.
Rodgers props up McCarthy, no doubt about that. I'm quite sure they could replace McCarthy with some high school coach and they would be fine as long as Rodgers is the QB.
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Rodgers is going to sink into a deep depression and fill his nights with cocaine fueled gay sex orgies. This is the end of Rodgers. He only plays 2 more seasons tops before washing out completely and testing positive for HIV at the local free clinic.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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He probably will have five solid years. This team as a contender is done though, after a loss like this. Players are going to recognize that the coach is a dipshit and move on where they can make money or get a ring. We have basically led the league in one and done as well as cap space for almost a decade now, so they won't get either here. Playing in GB is good for having loyal fans that stick with you, however. Packer Fans mostly reserve their ire for dickbrained rookies and shitty coaches.
Zzen
Potato del Grande
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With the way Colts wideouts were dropping the ball last night they may want some new guys there too (sic). Listening to the radio today rumors already swirling about Colts talking about a 25 mil a year deal with luck. If he's smart he'll take twenty so he can get some offensive and defensive linemen signed.
As much as I hate the pack I wouldn't wish what I saw out of mcfatty yesterday on any team, and that is coming from someone who's last head coach was trestman and has very clear memories of the wanstedt years.
As much as I hate the pack I wouldn't wish what I saw out of mcfatty yesterday on any team, and that is coming from someone who's last head coach was trestman and has very clear memories of the wanstedt years.
Xevy
Log Wizard
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I think the rain was fucking them up coupled with nerves. Honestly pats had them covered like schmear on a jewish donut though, so Luck didn't have many good tosses. TY is amazing, Reggie is a big question mark, Fleener and Allen are solid if Allen stays healthy, Hakeem would be a nice 1 year get for back up, and Moncrief needs more chances.
Luck will definitely take less or schedule the payment differently so he can have a good team built around him. I think losing 5 mil a year for 3 years is better than him being hit 100+ times a season. Good for us, great for him. He should write into his contract we have to get him a top 10 RB too. I'm all about protecting him first and getting him weapons 2nd.
Luck will definitely take less or schedule the payment differently so he can have a good team built around him. I think losing 5 mil a year for 3 years is better than him being hit 100+ times a season. Good for us, great for him. He should write into his contract we have to get him a top 10 RB too. I'm all about protecting him first and getting him weapons 2nd.
Xevy
Log Wizard
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Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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I'd say that most "average" defenses usually send 0, with a few having a standout player. The recent Giants defenses are an example of this. What percentage sport 2+ future HOFs? I have no idea. Maybe 1%? I think most "GOAT" level defenses are typically the ones sending 2+ to the HOF, however.
I'm not really sure what you're trying to get at..
'76 Steelers had Greene, Ham, Lambert, and Blount. '85 Bears had Singletary, Hampton, and Dent. 2000 Ravens only had Ray Lewis and Woodson as sure fire. For reference to whatever the heck we are talking about with great defenses and hall of fame players.
Grimmlokk
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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It's really not fair to compare modern teams to the greatest team ever assembled.
Those later Ravens teams also had Ed Reed/Stabby Magoo. Reed isn't in the Hall yet but he's pretty much a lock so that's 2 also.