The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

zombiewizardhawk · Nov 7, 2014

Sylas_sl said:
Oh no it is most definitely a serious critique against the films.

I realize that small/weak/useless race like hobbits can contribute and ultimately be the heroes who save middle earth is kind of the premise of LOTR, but only when you frame it just so.

How it should have ended version of the LOTR trilogy:

scene 1, the shire. gandalf realizes that bilbo/frodo has the 1 ring.
gandalf: "hey frodo, put that ring back in an envelop. put that envelop in a box. lock that box. aight let's go" whistles for magical eagles to appear.

scene 2, montage scene from elf city, rohan, Gondor, etc.
gandalf: "Yo i need you ppl to stand in front of the gates at mordor and distract sauron's army for about 3 minutes."

scene 3, while sauron is distracted, flight of eagles flying over volcano. drop box (and frodo if you want) into volcano.
fin.

2 minute movie.

again I never read LOTR so I don't know if there was more to the story than that. but in the films, as presented, that giant eyeball couldn't do shit but watch. it's not like it could shoot laser beams or anything. at best it could command the ringwraith dudes on their flying lizard eel things to go and try and fight the flock of giant eagles, but as shown in the films sauron is very easily distracted and he's already sent those dudes out scouring the country side. He's a shitty tactician basically and wouldn't have had enough of those dudes in reserve to stop gandalf from getting to the volcano and destroying the ring, not that he would even know that he'd need to keep some flying units in reserve for an aerial battle. in all honesty they'd all still be on horseback in the shire trying to ride back.

You people (everyone talking about the Eagles, not just this quote) do realize that the Eagles weren't just a bunch of tamed chauffeurs for the rest of the races (aka horses), right?

Siliconemelons · Nov 7, 2014

Wizardhawk_sl said:
You people (everyone talking about the Eagles, not just this quote) do realize that the Eagles weren't just a bunch of tamed chauffeurs for the rest of the races (aka horses), right?

yes they where like the ents, fuck-yalll don't care bout no world ending problems untillaahwhwhwaaA! my nest is on fire time to stop heads!

so for them to help in the hobbit it was like "fine..because Gandalf asked..." then "fine...I guess we can save Gandalf...." then *siighhhh* now I gatta go get Frodo...omg...sooo damn annoying people you all are!

Arakkis · Nov 8, 2014

Tarrant_sl said:
Bunch of sandy vagina up in here. Looks like it'll be a good and entertaining film, that's all I five a damn about. I'll go pay $5 to see it during the day and love every minute of it.

Word, sista! I liked the first two movies, and I'm sure this will be just as good if not better.

Dyvim · Nov 10, 2014

THe first 2 hobbit movies sucked 'cause they didnt try hard enough. Its mainly full CGI bullcrap where Lotr used heavy makeup and many actors and such and improved / multiplied them by CGI. Also the costumes in these one look like cheap props, prolly cause they are (and the lotr one sit in the original crews closet). Combine that with HFR tech that has the homemovie flair to it we get the lowball cash cow movies they churn out.

Warrik · Nov 11, 2014

Fuck the haters, I am looking forward to this.

Drakurii · Nov 11, 2014

Dyvim_sl said:
THe first 2 hobbit movies sucked 'cause they didnt try hard enough. Its mainly full CGI bullcrap where Lotr used heavy makeup and many actors and such and improved / multiplied them by CGI. Also the costumes in these one look like cheap props, prolly cause they are (and the lotr one sit in the original crews closet). Combine that with HFR tech that has the homemovie flair to it we get the lowball cash cow movies they churn out.

So in other words you'll be seeing this one opening night.

Dyvim · Nov 11, 2014

Since the only scenes i can remember from last years try harder are the keg down the stream and the benny hill smaug chase... prolly not opening night but theyll get my 6 bucks 3-4 weeks down the line, regardless.

Gecko_sl · Nov 11, 2014

Palum_sl said:
I've skipped the first two until I could see all 3. Think it'll be worth it to rent them on blu-ray and see the third one in the theater?

Even though there are some complaints, the special effects are top notch and worth seeing in a theater or Imax.

Overall I've enjoyed them, outside of Super Jedi Ninja Master Legolas.

I have gripes being a Tolkien purist, but the movies are fun for what they are: Popcorn entertainment. They aren't the quality of LOTR, but heck, how many movies are?

Kaige · Nov 11, 2014

Legolas got bitch-slapped a bit in the 2nd movie, obviously worth checking out.

Noodleface · Nov 11, 2014

I didn't find the special effects in the Hobbit movies to be top-notch.

LOTR looks like it could be passable for real life in many spots, The Hobbit uses WAY too much CGI for its own good and it ruins it. Almost every Orc/Uruk/whatever the fuck is CG where LOTR used mostly (I think) real people. Also, I watched the first in HFR3D and it was glaring how obvious the set pieces were.

I hate the Hobbit movies, fuck.

Dyvim · Nov 12, 2014

Exactly they even scrapped the whole CGI Gollum idea after Fellowship and went the Andy-Serkis-to-Gollum-Face-Route in the other movies.
In the Hobbit they just went the opposite direction, prolly cause of time is money hollywood fuckers plus they allready got their Oscars resting on their shelves.

Siliconemelons · Nov 12, 2014

Only when real set, real makeup and practical effects start winning the "special effects" Oscars etc. Again will people go back to them... regardless of the fact it looks better and IS in the end better effects...

The Ancient_sl · Nov 12, 2014

Star Wars VII: A New New Hope

Nester · Nov 12, 2014

$12.50 for three hours of state of the art CGI with fire breathing dragons, orcs and dwarves? Yes please.

Muligan · Nov 12, 2014

I liked the first 2 as well. I still think the LotR movies are better but I felt the same way about the books. It is just a different type/style of story. It didn't disappoint but it didn't blow me away. I think this movie will be better than the last 2 so i'm just glad they are made and they are not disappointing...at least to me.

Blackyce · Nov 12, 2014

Noodleface_sl said:
I didn't find the special effects in the Hobbit movies to be top-notch.

LOTR looks like it could be passable for real life in many spots, The Hobbit uses WAY too much CGI for its own good and it ruins it. Almost every Orc/Uruk/whatever the fuck is CG where LOTR used mostly (I think) real people. Also, I watched the first in HFR3D and it was glaring how obvious the set pieces were.

I would have to agree with this. LotR looked very real and it's glaringly obvious in the Hobbit movies that it's CGI.

Drakain · Nov 12, 2014

There are a lot more character/plot points in the Hobbit that require CGI. Most of the orcs in LotR were uriks that were "man sized" and most of the orcs in the Hobbit are goblin style or are supposed to be larger than life. The nazgul wyvern were CGI. Armies were CGI. Moria was CGI. You could also argue that when they rented land for sets back the first time around the people didn't know better but now that everyone knows how popular the movies are and how much money they've made they're asking for more. (I would)
Now with stuff being glaringly obvious that its CGI... These movies are filmed in crazy HD. LotR was filmed in the early 2000s when HD was just becoming popular. You can't tell me that doesn't have anything to do with it.
story points and stretching them to 3 movies... Yeah... I'm not going to argue that other than I love middle earth and any chance I can be apart of that world makes me happy.

Quaid · Nov 12, 2014

So pumped for the conclusion to the trilogy. The wife and I always send the kid off to grandma's for dorky special effects flicks. Smoke a big fatty in the car before we go in like dirty teenagers and just veg out for 3 hours. It's glorious.

If you're walking into this looking for anything but a brain dead good time, you're cheating yourself from a great experience.

etchazz · Nov 12, 2014

Blackyce_sl said:
I would have to agree with this. LotR looked very real and it's glaringly obvious in the Hobbit movies that it's CGI.

I'll third this. The special effects in the LOTR movies put the Hobbit special effects to shame, much the same way the special effects from the original Star Wars movies (puppets and tiny models) put the CGI crap of the prequels to shame. It's painfully obvious in the Hobbit movies that the orcs are computer generated, whereas in the LOTR movies real actors in costumes and makeup make it much more realistic.

j00t · Nov 13, 2014

It's also much easier to see in the hobbit because the characters are just doing so much more unrealistic things. The barrel riding, the goblin town fight... There wasn't a way to do that without CGI. Scenes like the eagles were probably better than lotr, but that's because we all know what an eagle flying looks like. Seeing it doesn't immediately put us in the uncanny valley

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

Potato del Grande

Avatar of War Slayer

N00b

Bronze Knight of the Realm

Potato del Grande

Golden Baron of the Realm

Bronze Knight of the Realm

shitlord

ReRefugee

A Mod Real Quick

Bronze Knight of the Realm

Avatar of War Slayer

shitlord

Vyemm Raider

Trakanon Raider

Silver Knight of the Realm

Trakanon Raider

Trump's Staff

Trakanon Raider

Silver Baronet of the Realm