The Lord of the Rings

zignor 4

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Back to this movie; So far the best reviews here seem to all sum up around "wasn't horrible, slightly boring, hope it gets better later". Can you imagine if Fellowship of the Ring came out and most of the reviews were "Wasn't horrible, hope The Two Towers is better"
No. Can you imagine judging FoTR by its first 35 minutes, which is basically exposition and a birthday party and then more exposition and some camping? This was just 2 out of an 8 episode first season of a TV show, not a movie.

It already got decently better by the second episode so it's on the right trajectory for now.
 

Chris

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OK just seen this... it's everything that I feared most... it's decent so far and I want to watch more of it to see where it goes.

The one black elf/dwarf/hobbit/human thing is hilariously undiverse. Hobbits came the closest to not being tokenised with other brown hobbits. It's bad for woke and unwoke alike, I don't know why they bothered. The black actors are fine though we haven't seen the human queen yet.

The elf acting is pretty bad and why does Galadriel's squad who know her for hundreds of years seemingly hate her lmao? Galadriel is a Mary Sue and will be the most likely thing to ruin the show. Elves NEED long hair to set them apart from humans. Valinor "portal" was weird and not how it worked in the books.

I'm intrigued by the meteor man, evil broken sword, glowing dwarf stone and ring forging.

I really liked the Forodwaith stuff, I remember that zone in Lord of the Rings Online and was that fortress Utumno (Morgoth's first fortress before 1st age) or more likely part of it's remains?

So yeah, lots to make fun of and it doesn't have the LotR magic, but it's not a woke disaster like I was predicting and has some interesting mystery boxes.
 

Izo

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Finished watching the 2 episodes. I feel we need more diversity. So many white people cast.
 
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Burns

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The elf acting is pretty bad and why does Galadriel's squad who know her for hundreds of years seemingly hate her lmao? Galadriel is a Mary Sue and will be the most likely thing to ruin the show. Elves NEED long hair to set them apart from humans. Valinor "portal" was weird and not how it worked in the books.
What's the saying?

"For every hot woman out there, there is a man, somewhere, sick of her shit."

In this case it is a whole squad. Time impacts elves differently, so it takes hundreds of years before they all just throw up their hands in disgust.
 
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reavor

I'm With HER ♀
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There were no pictures either in most of it, so idk how the fuck you know what color and look half the shit is supposed to have. Thankfully it literally makes no difference to the shit acting.

yeah but there were pictures by tolkien himself, where the main characters were always white but keep it up with that kind of moronic reasoning: ”uhhhh we need pictures for every scene or we dont really know what tolkien meant through his writings”
 

zignor 4

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yeah but there were pictures by tolkien himself, where the main characters were always white but keep it up with that kind of moronic reasoning: ”uhhhh we need pictures for every scene or we dont really know what tolkien meant through his writings”
There are black-skinned men in the lore. Tolkien refers to them as "swarthy" men in The Silmarillion. They mix with the whities and produce various lines of descent. Some are referred to as Easterlings (not the same Easterlings that show up in The LoTR). A contigent of these black / mixed men play a massive role in one of the final battles against Morgoth. Blacks show up again later in The Lord of the Rings as Haradrim.

Clearly it's biologically possible for men to dick down Elves and produce children. Tolkien provides at least three explicit examples. Exactly how many do you need for the reasoning to not be moronic?

So far it's a complete non-event in this show.
 
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Lunis

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yeah but there were pictures by tolkien himself, where the main characters were always white but keep it up with that kind of moronic reasoning: ”uhhhh we need pictures for every scene or we dont really know what tolkien meant through his writings”
The scope of Tolkien's mythology expanded over time from an alternate England mythology to an entire world mythology. The Silmarillion starts off with the creation of Arda itself, similar to the bible. The truth is he didn't spend much time on the racial makeup of the world, probably because it was more of a footnote to him.
 

wamphyr

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I liked the actress playing Galandriel, I liked how she looks. I loved Durin, good energy. The black elf is decent so far. The most annoying was the black hobbit, why did he have to act like a pimp, with that finger snapping and his two whores?

I didnt hate the show, but it could have been so much better.
Galandriel jumping from the ship was stupid. It was a silly melodramathic scene, and then she jumped... in the middle of the fucking nowhere? To do what? To drown? What a fucking disaster of a narative. Btw, is that Gandalf the girl hobbits found?
 

spronk

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episode 1 was decent, all the galadriel and elf lore was great. although i kept thinking "hey this morgoth guy sounds neat, wait stop lore dumping give me a season or two about his shit!" I have a lot of questions about the Elven homeland, the "gateway"/portal/Borg transdimensal warp/whatever that lets you go back and forth. Cool and interesting shit.

all the Harfoot stuff was terrible and felt like it was from a different CW show.

episode 2 was terrible though for the most part, writing and acting was really bad as people have said. If first episode is 7/10 second is 4/10. Hope it gets better. Meteor Man seemed clearly to be Gandalf although I assume I'm wrong and it will be a twist.

Its definitely a 2022 show, the dwarf halls had no real grandeur or amazing feel, just cheap costumed bad actors with bizarre porno-style closeups that aren't memorable at all. CGI out the ass everywhere, everyone teleporting around as needed, giant maps shown but no sense of how anything is connected. If you are probably a huge tolkien nerd I could imagine this shit is rage inducing, but as someone who only knows the movies its all like "uh ok".

also lol IMDB has temporarily (?) removed all reviews below a 6/10 for the show. amazon owns IMDB. RT has removed all user scores for now.

although i gotta say the brother trying to explain why rocks sink and ships float... LOL was he a retarded elf?

what-the-fuck-5ce29f.jpg
 
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Ossoi

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Galandriel jumping from the ship was stupid. It was a silly melodramathic scene, and then she jumped... in the middle of the fucking nowhere? To do what? To drown? What a fucking disaster of a narative. Btw, is that Gandalf the girl hobbits found?

apparently Gandalf wasn't on Middle Earth in this time period, but it could be him if they use creative license to use him under one of his other alias'
 

Goatface

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8k in 24 hours is sorta impressive, wonder when they will have a purge
 
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Mist

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I just don't know who gives a shit about any of this.

LOTR is a good story because it's about Sam and Frodo their epic, legend-worthy friendship, and their antithesis, Gollum, while also having good B stories about Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir, etc. The world itself is just not that interesting.

Same thing with House of the Dragon. ASIAF was a great story because it was about the Stark kids growing up and dealing with the mistakes of their parents and the generations before them. No one gives a shit about Targs, they're just obstacles for the protagonists.

All these shows are all worldbuilding without the important characters that drive a story.

GoT was great (at least for the first 4 seasons) because you immediately gave a shit about at least 4 of the Stark kids from like 20 minutes into the show, also wanted to see more of Jaime, Tyrion, etc, all from the first episode. You had nearly 10 characters you knew were going to be awesome, central driving characters established by the end of the first episode.

This isn't that. I don't give a shit about any of these people. Maybe they should start giving more characters wolf puppies in these shows so I know who I'm supposed to root for.
 
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Intrinsic

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I tried to read most of the posts but they all got jumbled together.

Anyways, Episode 1 was meh to us. We may get around to Episode 2 or may just keep watching Sprung b/c of Greg Garcia and Garret Dillahunt.

Elf language stuff reminded me of every time someone tries to over-pronounce Italian or Mexican food. Was annoying but probably the best part of the show. Elrond was cool but reminds me of a fetal alcohol Neil Patrick Harris. I tried to come up with a less cruel way of describing it but I can't. Like the banjo player in Deliverance crossed with Doogie Howser. Oh and Gil-galad was a very unimposing Elf king. Paunchy, not elf-ish or imposing. Not everyone can be as cool as Lee Pace. Pull him out of Foundation and put some pointy ears on him.

Sanford and Son Hobbits were terrible. Maybe that is the point or they aren't "Hobbits," but I wouldn't know b/c none of the convoluted history and lore mean anything to me. Saw the movies and these guys are short and live in mounds, so they're Hobbits. Trashy, gypsy, hobbits that are annoying.

The maps are arguably more confusing than just not having them. Not sure if this was some GoT-intro adjacent idea (not that it is the first time a show has used a map, c'mon). But having no knowledge or reference and just showing large regions on a map while spinning around and turning, at Mach 12 or so, created more confusion that it solved. It is like not selecting that option in games to "Keep Map North" or when you forget to invert you axis so initially you're like "whoooaaa where is the camera going."

Episode 1 was 6/10. As much as I harsh on Elrond Galadriel was actually cool and if the whole story is/was 95% their adventure it is something I'd watch. They seemed to work well together.
 

Burren

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For the race swapping debate. A long time ago, I wouldn't have cared about race swapping. But in today's day and age, white people can't do anything outside of their 100% white sphere's without being called colonizers and cultural appropriation. Blame the media for ramming it down our throats. They cast a black person as the king of england and as a norse god and we got "omg such diversity, such wow!", but never in a million years would they cast white people in black panther. Then you have white models being outright banned in Nigeria and once again the masses fall over how brave Nigeria is for protecting their "culture"

Back to this movie; So far the best reviews here seem to all sum up around "wasn't horrible, slightly boring, hope it gets better later". Can you imagine if Fellowship of the Ring came out and most of the reviews were "Wasn't horrible, hope The Two Towers is better"

It still astonished me that people who admit they are bored or don't like it, will continue to watch and effectively support something that's not good. How does most of society manage to stay alive with the lack of cognitive skills being displayed?
 
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Gavinmad

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What astonishes me is the simps saying they liked the actress playing Galadriel.
 
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