Transformers 4: Baylicious

Void

Void

Experiencer
<Gold Donor>
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EnigmaticParadigm_sl said:
Oh, and no scene after the credits, so don't waste your time; I made that mistake. About 20 ppl stayed till the credits were done when the lights came on. One neckbeard cried out "this was worse than 'Dare to be Stupid.'" No, Mr Reddit, the only stupid here is us for shelling out money to see this abortion.
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You guys need to download the "RunPee" app (for android at least, no idea if Apple allows such terrible vulgarity). It is mainly for telling you when the best times to take a piss are, but the reason I use it is because it tells you without spoilers exactly how long the credits are, and if there is anything during or after them. That way you can decide if you really want to wait 10 fucking minutes for a throwaway after credits scene or if it is really a decent scene, or nothing at all.
 
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Xenrauk

Trakanon Raider
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Transformers 1, I mean Transformers 4
Human meets autobot, they become friends.
Chase scene.
Chase scene.
Megatron, I mean Galvatron wakes up.
Give the cosmic cube, I mean the seed, to the human to hide it on top of a roof.
Explosions.
Explosions.
Human helps Optimus in final battle, "don't worry Optimus I got you bro!" *blocks attack from 20ft robot with a gun that fits humans even though it was found on an alien robot ship*
Optimus gives speech.
The end.

To be continued in Transformers 2, I mean Transformer 5, where Optimus is missing for half the movie but comes back to save the day in the end.
 
Muligan

Muligan

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Didn't get to see it tonight but 3 minutes of Galvatron... 3 minutes of Dinobots? Then what in the heck did they do 2.5 hours? It doesn't take much intelligence to think if you're going to take up 2.5 hours of someone's life and you have the license to do as you want with Transformers then why don't you just go all out with these characters?? It seems like an easy equation.
 
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Tea_sl

shitlord
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Ko Dokomo_sl said:
489 page pdf treatise on the hidden genius of the Transformers trilogy so far.

http://np.reddit.com/r/movies/commen...series/cigghj4

my tl;dr from 1/3rd in is: Michael Bay has made these movies to be an overblown satire of the action genre. Inflated military love, even when the military is jaw-droppingly overconfident, aggressive, and trampling over the rights of citizens and other nations. Racist token side characters, the black guy that dies first, crazy smart asians, etc. Megan Fox is an over the top piece of eye candy. Shia LeBouf is a man-child that is basically the young adult audience for action movies writ large. Optimus Prime is of dubious morality. Megatron is a much more rounded and changed character than anyone else. I mean, he's left alone for thousands of years and the first people that he meets that might free him instead lock him up in a prison and vivisect him for their own fortune. And he is aware during all of this because he learned English during his captivity. No wonder he was so angry. He's just trying to prevent his race from dying out.

t;dr of the post. Michael Bay made an action move that was super action movie so we could confront the issues that are prevalent in the genre. We decided it was just an action movie so don't worry about it. So he had to make a sequel that was worse (the twins). Repeat ad nauseum until we get it.
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I'm transfixed by this. Thanks so much for the link.
 
Porkchop

Porkchop

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Visually beautiful... but otherwise awful. My 8 year old turned to me around 2 hours in and asked "I thought there was supposed to be dinosaurs in this?".
 
kegkilla

kegkilla

The Big Mod
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spronk_sl said:
if you paid money to see this movie you deserve every moment of what you got and i hope you sat in a seat where two trannies jerked each other off to markey mark's tight body

i even have free tix tonight somehow but i ain't seeing this shit, for a film connoisseur like me it must feature great things for me to leave my neckbeard cave. Vin Diesel, Arnold Schwarzenegger, great tits, or Sandra Bullock in space.
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So brave. So edgy.
 
kegkilla

kegkilla

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velk_sl said:
I hope you punch him in the face afterwards if you do ;p That 'review' would cost Michael Bay $1000 if he wanted me to give it ;p
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Chanur attempting to punch me in the face would be equivalent of Sam Wickwicky trying to fight Megatron
 
kegkilla

kegkilla

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EnigmaticParadigm_sl said:
Oh, and no scene after the credits, so don't waste your time; I made that mistake. About 20 ppl stayed till the credits were done when the lights came on. One neckbeard cried out "this was worse than 'Dare to be Stupid.'" No, Mr Reddit, the only stupid here is us for shelling out money to see this abortion.
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"Oh boy i hated this movie so much i decided to wait through 20 minutes of credits with the hope to see an extra scene!"
 
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supertouch_sl

shitlord
1,858
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The Transformer movies are too incoherent to be entertaining. I don't remember much about the first two movies but I thought Dark of the Moon was just plain bizarre.
 
kegkilla

kegkilla

The Big Mod
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supertouch_sl said:
The Transformer movies are too incoherent to be entertaining. I don't remember much about the first two movies but I thought Dark of the Moon was just plain bizarre.
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you're just disappointed Bay hasn't included any tranny robots.
 
Mahes

Mahes

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Isn't this movie part of a new trilogy? So many better ideas to use for a Trilogy...
 
Brikker

Brikker

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This was pretty bad.

That said, what is the story with all this "Creator" bullshit? Also more story/background of the bounty hunter transformer, the dinobots, and why they were in the bounty hunter spaceship. What was all this "Knights" shit they kept talking about?
 
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