Uncomfortable Situations

slippery

slippery

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I'm curious how people deal with uncomfortable situations from things like family etc.

Things like the following seem to happen with my Mom, who quite frankly doesn't really understand me as a person even though I'm 32.

She wanted me to go pick up a friend of hers from the airport because she will be at work and it will be my day off. For reference, this friend isn't coming to visit or anything, they are just out of town. I've met the person maybe twice, and by met I mean said hi. I can't even tell you vaguely what he looks like or anything about him. But I'm an asshole because I don't want to spend 1.5-2 hours picking up some person I don't know, for no reason, so that they don't have to find someone else or get a taxi.

I've started to just accept it that she's going to view me as an asshole. I've tried explaining to her that it's pretty uncomfortable to me, and quite a lot to ask, but she'll just get pissed and ignore my existence for a while (which quite frankly is fine with me!)
 
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ToeMissile

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So this friend of your mom is in town for vacation or something, and doesn't want to get a cab/uber/public transport? If it was close friend of my mom's I'd be ok, it is a little weird though. Mostly that this person is ok w/ inconveniencing someone they aren't even traveling to see.
 
Lambourne

Lambourne

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Standing up for yourself was a hard thing for me to learn, but it is hugely important. Being too agreeable just made me a doormat and the resentment I had for myself for letting me be pressured into doing something I didn't want to do (again) was a far worse feeling than any of the arguments with other people ever were.

Don't beat around the bush and make up some excuse, tell her the truth: you don't know this person at all and you don't want to spend your time playing taxi for someone you don't know.

You get to pick your poison here: argue with your mom or beat yourself up for agreeing to do something you did not want to do (and for good reason).

 
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iannis

iannis

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My mom will try to get me to do shit like that. Half the time I just tell her, "Nope. Not interested even a little bit."

Half the time I cave and figgure... ehh, wtf. Sure, whatever. It's just paying back all the shit from 11-15 when she had to drive me around.

It's one nice thing about having a brother though. When I say no sometimes she'll get really mad and try to lay ALL the guilt on. And every time it's, "You realize that you have TWO sons, right? Two."
 
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iannis

iannis

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of course, sometimes I think moms just trolls me.

She asked me to do something one time that really pissed me off, and I just lit into her. And she bust out laughing after about 2 minutes of me cussing at her and went, "I knew you weren't going to, I just wanted to see what would happen."
 
Lanx

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slippery said:
I'm curious how people deal with uncomfortable situations from things like family etc.

Things like the following seem to happen with my Mom, who quite frankly doesn't really understand me as a person even though I'm 32.

She wanted me to go pick up a friend of hers from the airport because she will be at work and it will be my day off. For reference, this friend isn't coming to visit or anything, they are just out of town. I've met the person maybe twice, and by met I mean said hi. I can't even tell you vaguely what he looks like or anything about him. But I'm an asshole because I don't want to spend 1.5-2 hours picking up some person I don't know, for no reason, so that they don't have to find someone else or get a taxi.

I've started to just accept it that she's going to view me as an asshole. I've tried explaining to her that it's pretty uncomfortable to me, and quite a lot to ask, but she'll just get pissed and ignore my existence for a while (which quite frankly is fine with me!)
Click to expand...
You are an extension of your mom's kindness/offering. In leiu of your mom being super nice, she is using you to fill that spot, and it would reflect poorly on HER, for you to make HER look bad. You are a dumb tool that she lent to a neighbor.

This is most likely your mom's pov, not saying it's correct, or that she even knows what's going on, but it's most likely this.
 
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McCheese

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Lambourne said:
Don't beat around the bush and make up some excuse, tell her the truth: you don't know this person at all and you don't want to spend your time playing taxi for someone you don't know.
Click to expand...

Best advice right here. I've found that in the vast majority of uncomfortable situations, whether it be with family, work, or strangers, being honest and direct is the best approach. Aka, acting like a grown ass man.

 
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Noodleface

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Uh fuck no I wouldn't pick up anyone of my mom's friends if they weren't visiting us. What kind of fucking cheapass shit is that

I bet she just agreed that you'd pick them up and asked you later and now she looks like the asshole to her friend
 
Namon

Namon

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Yeah as an introvert there is no way in shit I'm going to spend 2 hours of my time on what amounts to mostly a stranger. I know it's your mom, but even to the vagina that put you into this world, there is a line. If it's a family member or whatever, sure, but some random friend you don't even know? Where are their kids/family to haul their ass around?
 
Pemulis

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This calls for the very definition of a white lie. You're already busy doing something else at that time.
 
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Brand

Brand

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I'm the wrong one to ask...I won't pick my mom up from the airport. "That is what Uber is for."
 
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K

k^M

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I wouldn't even add my blood relatives in that pool of "I'd drive 2 hours on my day off one way to pickup at the airport". Last time I think my mom asked me to do that, I gave her the money to leave her car at the airport because the $40 meant less to me than enjoying my day off.

People are always looking at me shocked when I say I would not care in the least if my brother wound up dead somewhere in a gutter because "we share the same blood, your family". Fuck that noise, a piece of shit is a piece of shit regardless of source and doesn't mean you have to have a space for them in your world.
 
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ZyyzYzzy

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Lot of people have shitty family in this thread. I'd be happy to pick my sisters ir aby extended family up from the airport because they'd do the same for me.
 
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TJT

TJT

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As I essentially, "ran away from home" five days after graduating high school and almost never visit. While I have a good relationship overall with my family I dislike being around them or associating with them other than calling.

Zero chance I go back to Oregon to help them with whatever. My Mom has, unintentionally, totally derailed my life and caused me immense personal stress on three separate occasions that I wont get into here. When I told her this she told me that it was unintentional and I should just deal with it and be nicer to her.

Yeah no. So after the third time, I crushed all my social media for good and never talk to them in any public setting. Period. Nor do I tell them about my personal life in any capacity. Ever.
 
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Palum

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slippery said:
I'm curious how people deal with uncomfortable situations from things like family etc.

Things like the following seem to happen with my Mom, who quite frankly doesn't really understand me as a person even though I'm 32.

She wanted me to go pick up a friend of hers from the airport because she will be at work and it will be my day off. For reference, this friend isn't coming to visit or anything, they are just out of town. I've met the person maybe twice, and by met I mean said hi. I can't even tell you vaguely what he looks like or anything about him. But I'm an asshole because I don't want to spend 1.5-2 hours picking up some person I don't know, for no reason, so that they don't have to find someone else or get a taxi.

I've started to just accept it that she's going to view me as an asshole. I've tried explaining to her that it's pretty uncomfortable to me, and quite a lot to ask, but she'll just get pissed and ignore my existence for a while (which quite frankly is fine with me!)
Click to expand...

Hahhahahhhahahhahahahhahahha

Seriously repeat after me: "fuck off"
 
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Palum

Palum

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Namon said:
Yeah as an introvert there is no way in shit I'm going to spend 2 hours of my time on what amounts to mostly a stranger. I know it's your mom, but even to the vagina that put you into this world, there is a line. If it's a family member or whatever, sure, but some random friend you don't even know? Where are their kids/family to haul their ass around?
Click to expand...

Yea as an anyvert I'm not going to pick up random people at the airport.
 
Noodleface

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ZyyzYzzy said:
Lot of people have shitty family in this thread. I'd be happy to pick my sisters ir aby extended family up from the airport because they'd do the same for me.
Click to expand...
My mother is shitty. Would you really ask your sisters extended family to pick you up and drop you off somewhere else?
 
iannis

iannis

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I would if I needed it.

I don't, but I would.

And my family is probably shittier than his.

Mostly though I don't have to ask. I just tell my brother to do shit and he usually does it. Such power!
 
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