What tickles your pickle

Bandwagon said:

We have a kids book called "The History of Rock and Roll" and one of the pages has David Bowie on it. For some reason, my daughter started asking everyone "Do you remember David Bowie?" She also talks about him when building Legos. "This is David Bowie's House". "This is David Bowie's boat".

A week or two ago, we were trying to figure out what kids movie to put on while everyone was a little bit sick, and I said something like "Oh, Labyrinth is a good one! I haven't seen David Bowie's moose knuckles in a hot minute". Daughter repeated "David Bowie's moose knuckles" as soon as I said it and everyone laughed, which permanently embedded it as a 'funny' in her toddler brain. She's been running around yelling about David Bowie's Moose Knuckles ever since, no matter how much I try to keep a straight face and tell her it's not appropriate. Mom is mad at us.

Click to expand...

Now my daughter is calling Bob Dylan "Bomba Dillya". Thats going to be in my brain forever

4x people in my office are out sick with covid. All vaccinated.

There's 5 of us in the office today. 3 unvaxxed and 2x that have been vaxxed (and got covid already, after being vaxxed).

I don't much care because errybody gonna get it anyways, but I sure do love rubbing it in their faces.


Also:

Bandwagon said:

The master bedroom and the office share a wall. There is a power outlet in the office that is on the same stud as the power outlet my wife plugs her phone into when she goes to bed, which is right at the head of the bed. If I place my ass against the wall, 18 inches above the power outlet, I can loose a fart that reverberates in the wall cavity and sounds like a demon roaring by the time it gets to her. I'm so excited I just figured this out.
View attachment 370948

Click to expand...

I sharted muh britches when I did this last night. Bad idea after a Costco run.

Deathwing said:

What are you rubbing in their faces exactly? Are they unaware how "vaccinated" is being misused in this context?

Click to expand...

Covid is still a thing because of the unvaccinated.

There's a pub that I go to maybe once a month or once every other month when I feel like grabbing food and a beer after work. There's a waitress that's always in there that I flirt with because she's busts my balls and usually gives me a free beer if I order more than one. I went in today because I left work a little early.

Her- Where you been, handsome?! This keg of pisswater is about to go bad because you're the only sucker that drinks it!

Me- Well every time I come in here, you guys have FUCKING GOLF on the TV and it takes me a month or two to forget and come back in again. Why don't you guys put boxing or UFC or something on?

Her- we're actually not allowed to have violent stuff on TV anymore.

Me- is that a company policy or.....?

Her - yea, apparently this is a "family establishment" and the owners got tired of people complaining about violence on the TV.

Me- my 4 year old daughter watches ufc with me.

Her- yea, well, the world is full of fucking pussies and we need their money.

I busted up laughing and she gave me a fistbump, so I gave her a fat tip.

Related, pic of me and my girl from Saturday (watching Roxy fight like....Roxy fights)

Koushirou said:

Just the tip?

Click to expand...

She has a thicc ass and I'm half British.

Hoss said:

Lets see a pic

Click to expand...

I don't snap pics of my waitresses, bro. She's a 5 or 6. You're better off beating it to an old Nat Geo.

In case you need help getting started there, Mr Greasy hands, she looks exactly like a girl I defiled in tech school, which makes me automatically assume that she has very long labia.

Hoss said:

Take a pic of her personality then, faggot.

Click to expand...

Some Portland coworkers are in town and I invited them over last night since their AirBNB was just around the corner from my place. We shot guns in the back yard, chopped up a 2x4 just as an excuse for them to use the chop saw, played with the laser cutter, played darts and blasted some doobie brothers. It was also a perfect night with a full moon rising over the mountains out the back window while we were hanging out.

I hope I made them feel really shitty about where they've chosen to live.

Aamry said:

Are they not allowed to own construction/shop equipment where they live?

Click to expand...

They're portlanders. Any room for a chop saw is probably taken up by a wheat grass farm or something

....and they were all women, soooooo