Whats rustling your jimmies?

USPS's package tracking:

November 8, 2015- Pre-Shipment Info Sent to USPS
November 9, 2015- (no update)
November 10, 2015- (no update)
November 11, 2015- (no update)
November 12, 2015- Oh, look we delivered your package. We know it said signature required and we know there have been package thieves grabbing packages off of front porches. We get that you would have made sure to be home when the package was scheduled to be delivered had we actually given you some sort of tracking update but we just threw it on your porch anyways since we are government employees and give no fucks.

This was some years back . . . had a friend from highschool move in as a flatmate. The moving company, bringing down all his stuff, rang me at work, sort of implying that I was supposed to be at home. I thought I'd missed a call or something (later finding out, no such thing). I tell them, I can leave and be there in less than 20 minutes.

"Oh that's, good. We've put the stuff at the bottom of the stairwell"

They had already unloaded it all before making the call, to let me know they had to head off. There was a TV, sofa, stereo gear just left in at the bottom of the stairwell, the only saving grace being that it was in out of the weather and that the building was set back from the road, so none of this was visible.

I had to haul it all up, only 1 flight of stairs fortunately.

Chesire_sl said:

fuck me every time i go for fast food its $30 + for 4 people , i would take the free meal and drive off the people behind me usually some assholes in an escalade can pay for their own shit

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ya gotta rape the dollar menu

Calbiyum_sl said:

ya gotta rape the dollar menu

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And I feel like a goddamn homeless bum ordering nothing but dollar-menu items, but fuck you McDonalds if you think I'm paying $8 for one of your shitty combo meals, or $5 for a Quarter Pounder by itself

Scrolling down my FB feed and seeing nothing but my 20-26 year old friends all sharing their dumb political opinions or how we should handle this world crisis or this one. Like stfu idc what side you are on. You're like not even mid 20s yet and you are a fucking moron that isn't going to change anything just shut up and go play kickball or something.

And even besides that it's always just really bad meme's or some viral video of a bum getting picked on then some guy beats up the bully etc. I've seen like 1 creative original status in the passed week and I'd even count hey I lose my phone please contatc me here as a creative status at this point.

joeboo_sl said:

And I feel like a goddamn homeless bum ordering nothing but dollar-menu items, but fuck you McDonalds if you think I'm paying $8 for one of your shitty combo meals, or $5 for a Quarter Pounder by itself

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I feel like one of those baller guys. I'm like let me get 2 cheeseburgers 1 chicken sandwich uhmm lets see fries some nuggets you're wifes tits

Calbiyum_sl said:

Scrolling down my FB feed and seeing nothing but my 20-26 year old friends all sharing their dumb political opinions or how we should handle this world crisis or this one. Like stfu idc what side you are on. You're like not even mid 20s yet and you are a fucking moron that isn't going to change anything just shut up and go play kickball or something.

And even besides that it's always just really bad meme's or some viral video of a bum getting picked on then some guy beats up the bully etc. I've seen like 1 creative original status in the passed week and I'd even count hey I lose my phone please contatc me here as a creative status at this point.

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20 to 26 year olds the word for them is cannon fodder

Calbiyum_sl said:

I feel like one of those baller guys. I'm like let me get 2 cheeseburgers 1 chicken sandwich uhmm lets see fries some nuggets you're wifes tits

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*your
Baller indeed.

Izo_sl said:

*your
Baller indeed.

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shit I just rustled my old jimmies with that typo

My spelling. I really should of memorized that shit in school so my spelling wouldn't be so atrocious and I wouldn't have to copy and paste words cause I can't remember how to spell them.

My sloppy as fuck handwriting. I assume I have some form of dyslexia because I'll write the wrong letters for things I know how to spell, or merge letters together in some strange unreadable scrawl.

Mostly I blame it on school being a long day of writing down notes that the teacher slaps on the projector, which I'd copy as quickly as possible because it was boring as hell. I could rarely read my own notes - nor did I have any intention to. The act of transcribing was enough for me to remember it anyway.

I always got a laugh when someone would ask for my notes. Except when it was a cute smart girl, dammit.

I guess on the bright side, teachers had no fucking idea if I was making spelling errors.

My Samsung TV just fucking notified me about a Gamefly app while playing PS4. Super fucking rustled.

My mom got facebook, she friends me, and goes through my boozing photos from 8-9 years ago. Mistakes were made; I deleted FB. Honestly, pushing 30, I've stopped caring what other fuckers are up to.

Driving in the left lane. Moving over to the right to pass the person in front of you. They decide to speed up when they see you attempting to pass.

Someone driving with their brights on because they are too cheap to replace that burned out headlight.

Kreugen_sl said:

My sloppy as fuck handwriting. I assume I have some form of dyslexia because I'll write the wrong letters for things I know how to spell, or merge letters together in some strange unreadable scrawl.

Mostly I blame it on school being a long day of writing down notes that the teacher slaps on the projector, which I'd copy as quickly as possible because it was boring as hell. I could rarely read my own notes - nor did I have any intention to. The act of transcribing was enough for me to remember it anyway.

I always got a laugh when someone would ask for my notes. Except when it was a cute smart girl, dammit.

I guess on the bright side, teachers had no fucking idea if I was making spelling errors.

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my little brother has really bad hand writing and has dyslexia and also dysgraphia

People who drive around with expired plates from 3 years ago but I get pulled over for going 5mph over the limit.

joz123_sl said:

People who drive around with expired plates from 3 years ago but I get pulled over for going 5mph over the limit.

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Used to park next to a guy with a BMW 4 series he moved with from California (Irvine BMW plate trim or whatever). Never had a license plate on his car, temp plate in window, nothing whatsoever. Never once saw the car towed, any indication of him being pulled over (ie, had to get plates) or anything. This lasted for about two years.

What a joke.

People who feel like laws and rules shouldn't apply to them because at some point in time they saw someone else break a rule and not be immediately punished for it.