What's your craziest sexual experience thread?
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Lots have been worthy of my cock, sir. None have been worthy of a ring!
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Coleslaw
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Hatorade
A nice asshole.
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Yeah best I got is 16-17 banging girlfriend in front of a bunch of strangers at a party. They weren't even really in the room it was corner apartment with sliding glass doors that went out to a shared balcony/pool area. We did doggy and missionary, it was crazy I tell ya.
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Caeden
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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I’m starting to realize that aside from banging individual chicks in compromising situations, none of us have truly crazy experiences.
oooh. I banged a prostitute. That’s not crazy. You just didn’t have to get married or go on a date and just cut to the financial arrangement chase.
Nobody in here is telling us about the time they all dropped acid and drank a gallon of bull semen strapped in a Prostate Poker 3000 then had a foursome with three other women while they all wore Clit Diddler 3500’s then did coke off the biggest post orgasm clit just before she left to pee standing up. So you got sick and puked on the girl to the left who then had a weird orgasm and said again daddy. Then a monkey jumped down pulled her hair, pinched her nipple, then gave you a thumbs up.
nobody telling those stories.
oooh. I banged a prostitute. That’s not crazy. You just didn’t have to get married or go on a date and just cut to the financial arrangement chase.
Nobody in here is telling us about the time they all dropped acid and drank a gallon of bull semen strapped in a Prostate Poker 3000 then had a foursome with three other women while they all wore Clit Diddler 3500’s then did coke off the biggest post orgasm clit just before she left to pee standing up. So you got sick and puked on the girl to the left who then had a weird orgasm and said again daddy. Then a monkey jumped down pulled her hair, pinched her nipple, then gave you a thumbs up.
nobody telling those stories.
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Noodleface
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Let's see, I made a roommate squirt in front of a group of guys who didn't think it existed. Outside of course, they had an outdoor rug too, we used a bar stool so the angle would be easier. Bunch of programmers from some buyout we had at Medieval Times, she got them to invite her back to the party, and asked me to tag along (only for safety, at first).
Invite only party in Dallas the saturday before each halloween - had two separate exes up on the sybian, on two separate occasions. The guy who owned it put a condom on it, and when it was over, wiped it down with three different cleaning fluids, so it was actually pretty sanitary. There were gloryholes for guys and girls there too, mattresses we picked up off the sides of streets (look, we mentioned, but it was a thing for some people. I blame drugs and an overwhelming desire for sleazy sex).
BDSM club in Dallas, the sanctuary, used to do a few scenes there. I'm not heavily into bondage though, and haven't practiced my rope at all in years, so I was never one of the professional suspenders (tops who know enough about rope to put someone in the air. It's trickier than you might think, nerve damage is so easy). Usually dominance play in one of their rooms, they had a prison and a classroom. People can peek in, but no one is allowed to touch or join (or speak, preferably, since it's not your scene).
I got invited to an orgy for a friend's wife once. Really more of a gangbang. He went around and gave us some knockoff viagra, condoms, and told us the rules of the event. This was at Glass Cactus, and it was her birthday present. Anyway, I was just in her mouth when my phone rang. The same roommate from the first post had broken her ankle stepping out of a truck (!), so I left and went to Baylor. Little sad about that one.
I had an ex who had incredibly sensitive nipples, and if she was riled up enough, squeezing would result in an orgasm, and the floor would be soaked. I use to make her stand with her hands behind her head and legs spread, and slap and pinch until she couldn't anymore. It'd end with a pretty good night though.
Another ex came so hard from anal, while we were in the shower she fainted. Scared the royal fuck out of me, it was one of those two spout showers, so I was terrified she'd smack into the one meant for filling the tub. Grabbed her and twisted, got a long scrape down my back. She came to in under thirty seconds, but it felt like a LONG time.
I've got a handful of other ones, but that's what I can think of right now.
Invite only party in Dallas the saturday before each halloween - had two separate exes up on the sybian, on two separate occasions. The guy who owned it put a condom on it, and when it was over, wiped it down with three different cleaning fluids, so it was actually pretty sanitary. There were gloryholes for guys and girls there too, mattresses we picked up off the sides of streets (look, we mentioned, but it was a thing for some people. I blame drugs and an overwhelming desire for sleazy sex).
BDSM club in Dallas, the sanctuary, used to do a few scenes there. I'm not heavily into bondage though, and haven't practiced my rope at all in years, so I was never one of the professional suspenders (tops who know enough about rope to put someone in the air. It's trickier than you might think, nerve damage is so easy). Usually dominance play in one of their rooms, they had a prison and a classroom. People can peek in, but no one is allowed to touch or join (or speak, preferably, since it's not your scene).
I got invited to an orgy for a friend's wife once. Really more of a gangbang. He went around and gave us some knockoff viagra, condoms, and told us the rules of the event. This was at Glass Cactus, and it was her birthday present. Anyway, I was just in her mouth when my phone rang. The same roommate from the first post had broken her ankle stepping out of a truck (!), so I left and went to Baylor. Little sad about that one.
I had an ex who had incredibly sensitive nipples, and if she was riled up enough, squeezing would result in an orgasm, and the floor would be soaked. I use to make her stand with her hands behind her head and legs spread, and slap and pinch until she couldn't anymore. It'd end with a pretty good night though.
Another ex came so hard from anal, while we were in the shower she fainted. Scared the royal fuck out of me, it was one of those two spout showers, so I was terrified she'd smack into the one meant for filling the tub. Grabbed her and twisted, got a long scrape down my back. She came to in under thirty seconds, but it felt like a LONG time.
I've got a handful of other ones, but that's what I can think of right now.
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Noodleface
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My wife's nipples are crazy sensitive. She actually wants me biting them which I oblige
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Letsinod
Lord Nagafen Raider
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My wife and I are swingers so I could go on and on about quite the numbers of crazy stories. Threesomes, an orgy, and some crazy foursomes with other couples. Please don't include "all of us".
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Noodleface
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None of that is the crazy khane wants though. He wants to hear about an 8 some and a dude ejaculating into a frying pan to make pancakes
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Letsinod
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Caeden
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Fine fine. Most of us.
my parents did that. Yes my dad told me about it but they stopped when they had to paternity test their best friends’ kid. the shit your white trash parents tell you when high.
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Ossoi
Tranny Chaser
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Did my first porn in 2012, did a couple more since then. Since last year have been hanging out with one chick semi regularly and doing stuff for her Onlyfans.
Was with her at Berlin sex club Kit Kat in January, but nothing happened. A few weeks later I went on my own to Torture Garden, messaged some random girl off a fetish tinder like app and said "hey I'll be at TG this weekend" by chance she was as well, agreed to meet up. Spent ages going down on her in the main room then went back to hers.
Was with her at Berlin sex club Kit Kat in January, but nothing happened. A few weeks later I went on my own to Torture Garden, messaged some random girl off a fetish tinder like app and said "hey I'll be at TG this weekend" by chance she was as well, agreed to meet up. Spent ages going down on her in the main room then went back to hers.
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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Not crazy, but here's a ridiculous one.
18 years ago, there's a knock on my front door at like 3pm on a Friday, I'm not expecting anyone. Open the door and its a girl I fooled around with in high school, I haven't seen or talked to her in a couple of years, she had moved away after school. I invite her in and am like "Whats going on, how did you even find me?! lol" and she is all nervous and tells me she got a hold of another mutual friend who gave her my address. She then tells me that she is actually in town because she is getting married the next day. I'm congratulating her when she goes "Ok, I have to be honest and just say what I am going to say before I chicken out" or something like that. She proceeds to tell me how she's been with a bunch of guys over the years, but she's never had sex anything like what we had, and she doesn't want to ever hurt her future husband or anything, but also doesn't want to go the rest of her life never experiencing that again... and will I fuck her one last time so she can get it out of her system and move on with her life.
I had literally been dumped the night before by my girlfriend of 2 years because she was super Mormon and was having a religious breakdown or something, and I had been up half the night because I was devastated. So I went "Fuck it" and picked her up, kissed her while carrying her into my room (she was tiny) and tossed her on the edge of the bed. I pulled down her jeans and just started going down on her. She was sopping already and after a minute I just stood up and held her legs against my chest, yanked down my pants and slammed home. She moans, I pull out slowly and ram in fast again.......and then I just fucking cum.
Like, total shock, completely unexpected, one second I was in total control planning on fucking her every which way, and the next I'm just grunting and trying to stop/figure out what the fuck just happened. She's trying to buck against me, not realizing yet, and I'm just trying to keep standing as this surprise orgasm hits me. I try to salvage something and keep moving as much as I can, but I'm rapidly getting limp and she's realized something is up. I kind of stammer apologize and try to start explaining that I don't know what happened, and she's like "Wait, did you?.. did you just cum in me?!" and then she proceeds to freak out/break down in tears. She's sobbing and saying it wasn't supposed to be like this, and I wasn't supposed to cum in her, and this was all a mistake. I'm just trying to calm her down and apologize, and she ends up pulling her pants up, and basically running out of my house in tears.
I felt awful, plus I felt like a pile of shit for fucking over some random dude the day before his wedding.
2 hours later my Morman girlfriend shows up telling me she's prayed about it and we belong together.... and I proceed to start crying and telling her what happened because I was a wreck. Basically, it was a total shit show because I'm a fucking idiot.
Anyway, I did randomly get a Facebook friend request from her a couple of years ago, I accepted it out of curiosity. She's still married to the same guy, they have several kids and she's real real big. She's never messaged me, or even commented on anything I've posted, and other than accepting her request, I've never reached out either. Part of me now wonders if I actually helped their marriage, if at the back of her mind she's always had a "the grass is not always greener! I better make this work." mentality.
IF this was the "entertaining sex stories" thread I think I could fill pages lol.
18 years ago, there's a knock on my front door at like 3pm on a Friday, I'm not expecting anyone. Open the door and its a girl I fooled around with in high school, I haven't seen or talked to her in a couple of years, she had moved away after school. I invite her in and am like "Whats going on, how did you even find me?! lol" and she is all nervous and tells me she got a hold of another mutual friend who gave her my address. She then tells me that she is actually in town because she is getting married the next day. I'm congratulating her when she goes "Ok, I have to be honest and just say what I am going to say before I chicken out" or something like that. She proceeds to tell me how she's been with a bunch of guys over the years, but she's never had sex anything like what we had, and she doesn't want to ever hurt her future husband or anything, but also doesn't want to go the rest of her life never experiencing that again... and will I fuck her one last time so she can get it out of her system and move on with her life.
I had literally been dumped the night before by my girlfriend of 2 years because she was super Mormon and was having a religious breakdown or something, and I had been up half the night because I was devastated. So I went "Fuck it" and picked her up, kissed her while carrying her into my room (she was tiny) and tossed her on the edge of the bed. I pulled down her jeans and just started going down on her. She was sopping already and after a minute I just stood up and held her legs against my chest, yanked down my pants and slammed home. She moans, I pull out slowly and ram in fast again.......and then I just fucking cum.
Like, total shock, completely unexpected, one second I was in total control planning on fucking her every which way, and the next I'm just grunting and trying to stop/figure out what the fuck just happened. She's trying to buck against me, not realizing yet, and I'm just trying to keep standing as this surprise orgasm hits me. I try to salvage something and keep moving as much as I can, but I'm rapidly getting limp and she's realized something is up. I kind of stammer apologize and try to start explaining that I don't know what happened, and she's like "Wait, did you?.. did you just cum in me?!" and then she proceeds to freak out/break down in tears. She's sobbing and saying it wasn't supposed to be like this, and I wasn't supposed to cum in her, and this was all a mistake. I'm just trying to calm her down and apologize, and she ends up pulling her pants up, and basically running out of my house in tears.
I felt awful, plus I felt like a pile of shit for fucking over some random dude the day before his wedding.
2 hours later my Morman girlfriend shows up telling me she's prayed about it and we belong together.... and I proceed to start crying and telling her what happened because I was a wreck. Basically, it was a total shit show because I'm a fucking idiot.
Anyway, I did randomly get a Facebook friend request from her a couple of years ago, I accepted it out of curiosity. She's still married to the same guy, they have several kids and she's real real big. She's never messaged me, or even commented on anything I've posted, and other than accepting her request, I've never reached out either. Part of me now wonders if I actually helped their marriage, if at the back of her mind she's always had a "the grass is not always greener! I better make this work." mentality.
IF this was the "entertaining sex stories" thread I think I could fill pages lol.
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Jerking off into a frying pan? What is this 1980? We jerk off into air fryers now.
Err.. sorry. I meant convection ovens.
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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