Would you ever cheat on your other half?

Archangel_sl said:

Never have, never will. I know how horrendous it feels when someone you love has an affair (even just a one-night stand) and I couldn't put someone else through the pain and doubt and loneliness that creates, let along the mental scars that can stay with you!

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Do lesbians get just as pissed when their SO bumps cunts with with someone else?

Famm_sl said:

Confirmed no opportunities.

You're ignoring that we have hardwired biological reproductive strategies that create predictable responses to monogamous relationships. Women are coded to have the best provider/protector for themselves and their offspring. This is why when a long term relationship is stale they are so easily swept off their feet by a male who is still trying hard to present himself as a prize. Versus the guy at home who has given up and gotten comfortable. All the bells go off in their heads when they meet someone new and biology overrides social constructs.

Similarly, as males we feel the need to spread as much seed as possible to diversify and propagate our species. Hence players, dogs, "cheaters", etc

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Meh, the whole "hardwired" argument is a rationalist bullshit excuse for giving into temptation. The fact is that humans have a conscious mind that can inform them of consequences. They can then make a choice on what to do in most any situation that their predilection informs them on. Humans are hardwired to prefer fatty and sweet foods, yet millions of people a day stare right at those foods and turn them away as part of their diet. Humans are hardwired to be diurnal, yet millions of people choose to work nightshifts. Humans have a biological imperative to survive, yet thousands choose to commit suicide. It is not like you walk into a room where a woman is ovulating and immediately some force takes over and you punch all the other dudes in the face and fuck her in the middle of the floor. You are informed of your options, and you make the choice to either a) stay around the temptation and become more and more susceptible to it, or b) remove yourself from the temptation and not face the consequences of it. Ignoring the role that the conscious mind plays is intellectually dishonest and a poor argument for cheating.

Granted, a lot of people make the choice to turn the conscious mind off with alcohol, which leads to a lot more situational cheating.

Nobody ever said you can't choose not to, but the biological catalysts are still there. You may not like it, but you can't wish it away with your extreme scenarios. You never heard a woman say "I don't know what came over me" "I don't know what I was thinking" "I'm usually not like that"? Yeah, something flipped the switch and instincts took over. Sure she could have made a different decision but that doesn't discount the part biology played in the decision she DID make.

Famm_sl said:

Nobody ever said you can't choose not to, but the biological catalysts are still there. You may not like it, but you can't wish it away with your extreme scenarios. You never heard a woman say "I don't know what came over me" "I don't know what I was thinking" "I'm usually not like that"? Yeah, something flipped the switch and instincts took over. Sure she could have made a different decision but that doesn't discount the part biology played in the decision she DID make.

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My point wasn't that there may not be some biological urge. My point was, as Composter pointed out, that we override "biological urges" all the time when it suits us. Especially because human are also wired to adapt our survival strategies to our environment and there is plenty of reason to believe that monogamy is just such an evolutionary strategy given the society we live in. I don't by the whole "something flipped the switch and instinct took over" for men or women. Then I would have to accept when some woman secretly skipped her birth control pills to get pregnant because "awwww, she's just hardwired to want babies. I guess instinct took over." Fuck that. Behaving rationally is not an extremist scenario. Nor is respecting the people you choose to be with and understanding the consequences of your actions.

Wintermute_sl said:

My point wasn't that there may not be some biological urge. My point was, as Composter pointed out, that we override "biological urges" all the time when it suits us. Especially because human are also wired to adapt our survival strategies to our environment and there is plenty of reason to believe that monogamy is just such an evolutionary strategy given the society we live in. I don't by the whole "something flipped the switch and instinct took over" for men or women. Then I would have to accept when some woman secretly skipped her birth control pills to get pregnant because "awwww, she's just hardwired to want babies. I guess instinct took over." Fuck that. Behaving rationally is not an extremist scenario. Nor is respecting the people you choose to be with and understanding the consequences of your actions.

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The fuck its not her instinct. You think tricking a man into fatherhood is the decision of a rational actor? I don't know what romantic fantasy land you live in, but in the America I see all around us base instincts are winning out over rational decision making everywhere you look. Thinking with your brain not your hormones IS the exception, not the rule.

Wintermute_sl said:

My point was, as Composter pointed out, that we override "biological urges" all the time when it suits us.

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Yeah, but in those examples, do you ignore those urges for decades at a time? Like, do you think people who avoid sweet foods never once in 40 years end up slipping and having a snack?

Not saying that cheating is ok, but to say that those things are comparable is lying.

You pseudo-psychologists are quite hilarious.

"Women are crazy and irrational, but men aren't cause hormones."
About SEX of all things?

Do you know what testosterone is?

Comparing the strength of our reproductive drive to a sweet tooth is asinine in the first place.

Famm_sl said:

The fuck its not her instinct. You think tricking a man into fatherhood is the decision of a rational actor? I don't know what romantic fantasy land you live in, but in the America I see all around us base instincts are winning out over rational decision making everywhere you look. Thinking with your brain not your hormones IS the exception, not the rule.

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And by the power of rational thought, we can accidentally knock these same women down flights of stairs. It all balances out.

Don't cheat. A couple hours of fun is not a good enough reason to irrevocably change your life.

lurkingdirk_sl said:

Don't get married. A couple hours of fun is not a good enough reason to irrevocably change your life.

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.

Men are totally logical. The number of times I went in without a raincoat or listened to the ex say "the time's not right" is further proof of men's Vulcanian nature even during sex. And if you act like these situations haven't happened, you're still a virgin.

Darro_sl said:

Most people claim to their partners that they wouldn't cheat but of course it happens. Would you honestly cheat on your other half?

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Only virtually.

I'd like to think I wouldn't. But given the right situation (beautiful young woman, away from the SO for awhile, liquored or drugged up, little chance of being caught etc etc) I have no doubt I could be tempted to the point of giving in. That said, it's a shitty thing to do, and not something I'd ever try to rationalize away. And I do look down upon people who do it frequently or who do rationalize it as being okay or not harmful.

Eomer_sl said:

I'd like to think I wouldn't. But given the right situation (beautiful young woman, away from the SO for awhile, liquored or drugged up, little chance of being caught etc etc) I have no doubt I could be tempted to the point of giving in. That said, it's a shitty thing to do, and not something I'd ever try to rationalize away. And I do look down upon people who do it frequently or who do rationalize it as being okay or not harmful.

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Pretty much this for me as well.

I think it's impossible to answer with an absolute "never", because no matter how much you don't want to do something there is always some chance you'll be put in a situation where it might happen. Some people just seem more willing to put themselves into such situations than others, for whatever reason.