You know you're getting old when.....

Aldarion

Aldarion

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I've met people IRL who admit they can't parallel park.

If I was emperor, I'd authorize cops to pull people over for impromptu parallel parking tests. Fail, lose your license and your car is now the property of the state. Enjoy walking home.

Come on man. If you can't parallel park you can't drive.
 
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Furry

Furry

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Hoss said:
Anyway, that was my only deduction and I haven't parallel parked since. The only way I will get into a parallel parking spot is if there are 2 in a row free and I can just pull into it.
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In Paris the spots are tight its pretty common for people to "accidentally" hit cars while parking. I was told the term when I first went to france in 2001, the "paris bump".

 
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Aldarion

Aldarion

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Hoss said:
I never said I couldn't. Technically I've only ever hit the curb once and have been otherwise perfect.
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Yeah I actually added that line to clarify that I was bitching at people who can't parallel park and not necessarily the people who have been talking about it in this thread.

Theyre out there, in horrifying numbers.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Also, I would shoot your special parallel parking gestapo on sight. I assume the badge would be 2 straight lines and they would parallel park behind you when they pulled you over, so they would be easily recognizable.

A true emperor would outlaw parallel parking. Streets are for fucking driving, not parking.
 
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Goatface

Goatface

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don't think i have parallel parked in 20+ years. only one place i go to still has parallel spots. they are too small for my truck, but there are several end spots.
 
Void

Void

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I've been helping my sister move slowly for months while she's going through her divorce, fixing up the old house, fixing up the new house, moving shit (up and down stairs at both places :( ), moving way too much heavy shit mostly by myself, etc. I'm not in the best shape of my life anymore (I'll be 57 in April) and that shit takes a toll for that evening and a couple of days after.

This last weekend, she asks me if I want to "pregame" before we start moving a bunch of heavy shit again. I'm like, why the fuck would I want to drink? She says not that kind of pregame, old people pregame, and handed me two advils.

I took them.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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RobXIII said:
Then why do you drive on a parkway, yet park on a driveway? CHECKMATE LIBTARD!!11!!1!eleven
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Because we borrowed too many words from the french.

brUvK5.gif
 
Kajiimagi

Kajiimagi

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Furry said:
In Paris the spots are tight its pretty common for people to "accidentally" hit cars while parking. I was told the term when I first went to france in 2001, the "paris bump".

Click to expand...

I don't give 2 fucks how things are done in France, fuck them surrendermuppets.
 
Gutterflesh

Gutterflesh

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Late last night I toasted up an english muffin with a little butter on it. I put the butter back in the fridge then stood in the dark kitchen eating my muffin while I stared out the window.

When I woke up this morning my wife asked "Why is the butter in the microwave?"

puppet-awkward.gif
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Gutterflesh said:
Late last night I toasted up an english muffin with a little butter on it. I put the butter back in the fridge then stood in the dark kitchen eating my muffin while I stared out the window.

When I woke up this morning my wife asked "Why is the butter in the microwave?"

puppet-awkward.gif
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Tell her that's where it belongs. Butter doesn't go in the fridge.

Unless you're eating pasteurized processed american butter food substitute.
 
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