Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Proobs said:

Noodle - yes or no to pregnancy sex ?

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There is like a 4 month window in there where they aren't nauseated constantly and it is sexy as fuck. Like noodle said ' bigger titties' just more womanly in general.

The times when my exwife was pregnant were definitely the highlight of my marriage. We got along great during those times despite the craziness.

One anecdote from when my ex was pregnant. She looks at me on a Wednesday evening and tells me she needs to have some nabeyaki udon. I'm like a deer caught in headlights. I was like okay can we try to get it tomorrow it is almost 9. All I hear is 'NO'. So are you gonna put shoes on and we are going to the restaurant. 'NO'. So I call the restaurant and ask them if they make that for carry out. No they do not. I'm like come on this woman is pregnant as all fuck. If I bring a large container bowl would you poor the soup into it? I hear the guy telling his manager. She is pregnant. Then he comes back on the line. Yes we can do that.

Telling people you are dealing with a pregnant wife opens a lot of doors.

lurkingdirk said:

You may be trolling. I hope you're trolling.

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if all your 12 kids are in school, it is the truth

Noodleface said:

Yes I get those
A lot of 'something healthy' too as if this is some epiphany to me

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toss her a bag of spinach and a tomato next time

Soygen said:

I'm 40 and my girlfriend is pregnant with my first child. You can be old as fuck and just starting down that road!

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Grats man. She's skeptical, but I keep trying to ease her mind, some women at work who are 35 + are spiting our their firsts so I think she has nothing to worry about.

BrotherWu said:

I bet you could fix a wet vagina.

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With a plunger and both hands?

I grocery shop as just like others, she takes a shitload of time while I can get it done in half the time. It perplexes me as to how she/they take so much god damn time grocery shopping. It is like they go up/down every aisle and look at every product and determine if they need it (and 99% of the time, they never put it in the cart but contemplate it for a few minutes)

Look at your fucking list of needs and get it done FFS. She is also also the type that looks at all the checkout lines and determines what is the shortest. But in that span of time determining the "smallest line," she could've picked anyt line and been out by the time she chooses + gets checked out by just going to any of them.

Getting rustled thinking about it...

Soygen said:

I enjoy grocery shopping on my own.

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I am so with you. Put an album on the headphones, or listen to a book, and take my time in the store getting exactly what I want while ignoring all the other humans on the planet. It's like a weekly holiday.

I do all the grocery shopping to keep my options open.

lurkingdirk said:

I am so with you. Put an album on the headphones, or listen to a book, and take my time in the store getting exactly what I want while ignoring all the other humans on the planet. It's like a weekly holiday.

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Oh so you're the asshole in the supermarket just wondering around aisles getting in everyone's fucking way because you're in your own little fucking god damn world and can't be bothered to not listen to your faggot music for 30 minutes and instead make going grocery shopping 10x worse for everyone else around you. I hope those carrots you're going to deepthroat later tonight choke you out.

Just means you're not done yet.

Get her in the corner and just Kong her.

DISPLAY DOMINANCE.