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Maybe you should!

Over the last couple of weeks they repaved almost every road around me with the stupid loose gravel on hot tar method. Makes riding just awful. There's about 2 miles in every direction that now has loose gravel roads before I can get anywhere. I am dissapoint.

I miss hockey.

First cousin is absolutely okay if we're playing by West Virginia standards. But is it gay pleasure if it's your adopted first cousin who *identifies* as female?

It already is if you know where to look. To vampires, almost all channels are food channels.

One of the great ironies in life is that the mullet was likely invented to *prevent* necks from getting red.

I wish you lots of luck, patching textured walls/ceilings sucks the balls of a goat.

Ziploc earns a significant amount of money from drug dealers.

Depends, does your bidet shoot scalding coffee?

True. If you can live with this:

If we invented a pill that would make you immortal, someone would choke on it and die.

Sandpaper toilet seats are for pussies.

A coffin is a dead tree carrying a dead person.

I'm contemplating textured beds.

I've got to ask, why the hell would you choose to texture your walls and/or ceiling? That shit is going to age badly, is not possible to patch and make look right if ever anything happens, and it's a pain in the ass to paint? I have never understood why anyone would do this. Can you tell me...

My wife and I do butt stuff every once in a while. Mostly it just hurts for her, so I don't find it exciting. Sometimes we both get in the right mood to do it. Periodically we both stick a butt plug in before sex, and that's kind of fun. Especially the vibrating ones.

That explains a number of things...

They might be really impressed with his dick and reconsider their whole position on him.

This phrase made me laugh. I'm a bad person.

Yeah, this is one of many things about parenting that is both awesome and crappy. You want your kids to learn and advance, but it's bitter sweet when they do because they start to rely less and less on you. One big one I remember each time was "Hooray, my kid can walk!" while simultaneously...

I'm dang excited. I'll watch the shit out of this.

Projectile GIFs? That's a tall order...

Watching this made me pee a little.

I'm so fucking tired right now, and I have a whole day more to do tomorrow.

Been building a 125 foot retaining wall with rocks that we've been collecting from various places. Every time someone posts they want to get rid of a pond or similar, I tell them I'll come and take all their rocks away. As a result, today I'm making this retaining wall, which will enable me to...