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Ouch. We can increase our mutual masturbation sessions if that would help.

No you didn't.

Dude, enjoy it! Congrats, and realise this is a big fucking deal. New human!

Man, Notre Dame is going to get slaughtered by Georgia next week. They can put up some points, but their defense sucks the balls of a goat.

Oh, it is.

See, this is what I think of as healthy. Yeah, you're both going to have your things that you want to be just so, find ways that you can do those things without pissing each other off. You keep the bathrooms clean and functional, he grows things, you both get out of the way for each other, and...

I see you did not avail yourself of the 50 gallon drum of lube that Costco sells. I don't think you're properly prepared for the weekend camping trip.

Guy Fieri is getting no where near my sandwich.

I'm calling it grilled cheese. Others can identify with my sandwich as they choose.

It's a fucking grilled cheese. C'mon, man.

Last night I made a grilled cheese sandwich that was a layer of fresh mozzarella, then a layer of bacon, a layer of sharp cheddar, a layer of ham, a layer of shredded mexican blend cheese. It was glorious.

Too much American cheese is crap. Can't have enough bleu cheese. These are facts on which adults can agree.

Had it, wasn't impressed.

It's okay. If you say you engineer bullshit no one will find you.

When I'm alone my primary mode of transportation is my motorcycle. Winter included if the roads are bare, cold doesn't bother me. Driving the bike in a city environment is pretty safe. There are very few scenarios where I could see death happening. The speeds are just not high enough, and I'm a...

September 14

This guy gets it. Do what he said.

I wanted that, too, but it seemed like when we decided to have another, we shouldn't be in the same room together. We seemed able to get pregnant while both fully clothed at church. It was crazy. My wife's pregnancy could be described by trimester in this way: 1. sick 2. hungry 3. horny. Like...

Breakfast tomorrow morning will be: slice of cherry coffee cake 3 strips bacon 2 eggs english muffin 2 peaches coffee

Post every picture you have! I'd love to see them.

Don't forget the hot chocolate!

Oh, also Founders.

Hop Cat, it's downtown. You'll thank me. It's awesome.

I have one of these: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01G62N5SO/ref=sxr_pa_click_within_right_1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=3163805422&pf_rd_r=13REZ0NVQ3VNWVJXDRWX&pd_rd_wg=8j70K&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhs-carousels&pf_rd_t=301&pd_rd_w=02HJZ&pf_rd_i=ozone&pd_rd_r=1RWS1VYD2YHMH99TZJX1&psc=1 I do a lot of...

You are. A good gorgonzola pasta sauce is a thing of beauty.

What's the pitch on your roof, and how many gullies do you have? I'll absolutely do my own roof when needed. It's huge, but it's a very mild slope and there are no gullies at all. It'll take time, but shingles aren't hard. Just remember, preparation of the roof is at least half the job. Make...

Sounds like middle school.

Is this some kind of code for a reach-around?

Man, I've been waiting for that invitation for years.

The last page and a half have been strangely arousing.

Yeah, I hear you. This guy was no fool, he didn't actually give me five bucks cash, he went to the attendant and paid for $5 worth of gas. I think it also helped that I didn't ask him for money, he offered help. He's just a fine bloke, and I still smile big just thinking about how great the...

I was on my motorcycle today, and I got to a point where I needed to get fuel. I don't think I had enough to get home, so I pull in. As I reach for my wallet, I realise my wife had taken it out of where it should be, so I had no wallet, no money, and no gas. After trying to call my entire family...

That looks fine.

I know you are but what am I?

Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about here. Did I bs rate something? I didn't intend to.

Congrats, bitch. Get a babysitter and take your wife out tonight all unexpected like. It's a good surprise, and she's likely to give up anal for it.

Yeah, I resist the kids slinking off to their rooms as much as possible. Hasn't been an issue with the oldest girls, but my middle kid wants to do it. There are ways around it. We have family breakfast and dinner every day. There are, of course, exceptions for hockey and soccer, but every time...

This is a creepy post. You sound like you're planning to make a skin suit or something.

Whelp, why the hesitation? Drop this stable, wonderful relationship you are in and run toward crazy!