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Once you've been shat upon, all else is simple. I'm sure someone wise said that. Maybe Yoda.

Penguins certainly making the best of things! Fun game to watch.

They didn't look good in game 1, but today was exceptionally bad. Penguins making stupid mistakes tonight, and taking dumb penalties. It's like they have just resigned themselves to losing.

Man, Detroit looked like dogshit today.

Seed the whole thing, and water the dickens out of it. It will fill in.

I have no need to respond that quickly to anything, and, frankly, I don't think anyone does. Get an iPhone. They tell you when people read your text. Nothing so urgent in my life that I need a couple second turn around time. I don't really think this technology will last unless you can get...

But, why male models?

Montreal/Ottawa game was awesome to watch last night. Very good game, with very little fucking around between whistles. I'd say the coaches had a word with their players after last game. Pretty sure Subban's stick didn't come up off the ice onces last night.

A natural farter. Like his mother.

WooHoo! Glad everyone is well! Congrats, man.

My wife will cut you if you tell her that.

How much experience do you have with moldy balls?

Yes, dammit. bloody Blues. Never fail to disappoint.

I did my wife's epidural while blindfolded. I kid, but I didn't have to leave.

I'm growing russets and golds. I guess we'll see.

It'll happen, and it'll happen in a hospital that is safe and everyone will be okay. Try to be patient, and remember:

Small cut regular fries. Deep fried. I've tried Russet, but I think there is a better option.

Bros, what's the best potato to make home made fries with?

Nothing in the bible against shitting on the hood of an auto shop owner's car. I think I'll go do that.

Wait, they changed "staff?"

We demand noodlephotos!

Pantheon has taken my place at the theatre tonight. -Abraham Lincoln

Get one of these. You can almost bake with it. Sears.com That place will glow.

Sorry, man. I am really pulling for the Blues in this playoffs. They need a cup!

Because Big P was hoping to undergo a sex change operation and bang Ramon as a woman, but now he'll just have to settle for buttsex

Good luck, man. Let us know if the baby looks like J49.

Didn't know about the microfracture. It just didn't look like that hard of a slash to me, but clearly I'm wrong. Fuck Subban right in the pussy.

Wow, that was an intense game, 6 goals in under 10 minutes in the second, Montreal squeaks out a win. It will be interesting to see what comes of the Subban major, and the shit after the final whistle - Price waded into the fray. Ridiculous.

I have an alarm clock operated IV that starts my day. It's connected to the nearest Starbucks. Just one of the many valuable services that fine establishment offers.

I'm not watching it, wtf is going on with Chicago? Also, yeah, Subban hit one hand, and the guy dove like a diva. Back on the bench a couple minutes later, no damage, playing again. I still think it's an over call, and I don't even cheer for Montreal.

That sucks, man. Did you eat any duck?

Sometimes, the baristas will agree to go to the parking lot and give me a hot chocolate blowjob if I buy the hot chocolate.

Montreal keeps scrapping back on top, regardless of the refs. This play calling is so bad it's unreal.

They just kicked Subban out of the game for what was a minor slash. The officiating is just fucking dreadful. I'm so rustled, I need to kick someone in the cunt. And Montreal just scored short handed. Take that, right in the pussy, you bastards.

But are they quality shots, or is it all about quantity?

I have a soft spot for starbucks because the baristas typically give me handjobs while I wait for my coffee.

What in the actual fuck did that dumb fucker from Montreal think was going to happen when he swung his stick at the puck in front of his own net and put it between Price's legs? He needs a beating.

Shit's fine, son. Nice work!

That crap went around our public school district last year, and there's just nothing you can do but let it run its course - it doesn't present with symptoms until after you're contagious.