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That is, indeed, total fucking balls.

Yes. Yes. Excellent.

I think my spiderbros died. I haven't seen them in weeks. Of course, most of these spider bros aren't any bigger than my small fingernail. But I spotted one the other day that was about as big as my thumbnail. Spiderbros might have had a cagematch.

Younger than you AND female.

Shit, I don't even suffer from clinical depression and there are months where it's not a feeling. It is a self evident fact that my issues are beyond help. But not beyond control. We can only do what we can do. And if you have to content yourself with the small things that is better than...

Aww man how'd I miss all the fun fart talk. My farts don't stink either, Sut. These are some hyper sensitive fart sniffers on this board. Except every now and then I'll rip one and run myself out of the room. And my family will specifically come to FIND each other when they need to fart...

It would have also been alright if it had been about how much he loves fucking her. I can't think of much besides Will and Grace whenever I see her, she basically was that show. And that's not really a positive association. But when she shows up on Parks and Rec with Offerman she does kill...

Without secure coms there can be no war with Eastasia. We must kill Eastasia. Eastasia is enemy.

I built a shed for my firewood. I'd brag about it, but it's mostly because I didn't think of doing that. That -would- be easier. But I gots a shed. Meh. It needed a roof on it anyway. I've got an overhang on the front and side porch, but not the back.

Fear And Loathing: Miami

Yeah, it's not cheaper. But if you pay for particle board you get particle board. Lots of stuff I don't care. A dumb little table that I'm gonna throw away or burn in 2-3 years anyway? Particle board it is! But some stuff like a desk and a bed needs to actually be made out of wood. Or...

Well, according to Jon Stewart there is. I've heard him say that he can't quite wrap his head around how jews will call him a filthy zionist and other will call him a filthy traitor over the exact same remarks. And to get jewier than Jon Stewart I think you have to go all the way up to Mel...

The way that they made boyhood is pretentious, but the movie itself isn't. The story of the movie should be the story of the movie, not that the producers, actors, director, and craft service agents took a brave leap of faith and signed onto a 12 year project. That part of it is gimmicky and...

All these shows have over minute long intros. Every last one of them. Watch the timestamps on the video of game of thrones, boardwalk empire, mad men, orange is the new black, house of cards. Pretty much all of them. Breaking bad is very much the exception. I don't even remember the...

Sometimes they come out black, but they get lighter around 5 years old. It's how like most little girls are blonde.

It seems like for sports cable still has some value in it. I don't really watch sports though and can find pretty much anything else through legit means / downloading cars. Roku is awesome. I was bummed when they fucked around with custom channels and I couldn't get actual british BBC...

Stick your cock in it! Wait, I mean caulk. Then paint them shut. Full disclosure -- That's probably a terrible idea. It'd probably be better to do the first one.

Chaos-spawn photobomb. THIS IS HERESY. Matching that color won't be too hard if you got an unfinished bedframe and did it yourself (real easy but it takes a warm day and a little bit of space). Buying something off the rack to match it might be. And it might be a lot harder in VA. NC only...

You might consider, and I really do only mean consider, letting her stay in her apartment and temporarily moving in with her. I know you have health problems of your own and that may not be feasible. I don't know if you're looking at a long time commitment and there may be more comfort in the...

Why did you clam up on super racist girl? Dropping "all the Faulty Armors need to die" within the first 5 minutes goes in the plus column, not the con column. ESPECIALLY if the girl saying it happens to be a Faulty Armor herself. If she's willing to lay that on you in the first five minutes, once you get...

What the fuck are you buying with $94 a day?!? That's like what 200 african children are worth. Fuckin Rockafellahs up in here. Learn how to live happy. Things are just things. #chimpout

It did convince me not to do certain things though, or realize that if I wanted to do certain things I had to be clever enough about it that pops didn't notice. Hell, it was never even that bad getting walloped by my folks. But the daycare lady used to spank us when we fucked up her house...

We probably should be talking about things that actually exist like the show The Wire and not things that don't exist like "female" "orgasms". I like the Season1 themesong the best. I judged all the others against it. When you walk thru th garden!

Racing with the road. Race. Fast. Race! Fast!

Oh my... you know what it just reminded me of. A racecar bed. Oh my god when you get it ohnoes, put Disney CARS sheets on it. Do it and you'll never be able to get the p-funk out of the mattress. I'm tellin you man.

It's like a modernist sleigh bed. It's kind of a nice looking bed, actually. The side panels would get annoying to me very quickly. When I roll out of bed half the time I literally roll out of bed. I think you also want a footboard so that the Dog can't see what you're doing up there...

"Next" always implies a gap of 1. "This" implies the upcoming. I've got a friend that will say "Sunday Next" and "Sunday This". Which is antiquated, but I think actually a more clear way to express exactly which one you're talking about. Your wife is counting by the week instead of by...

He's never nagged me. Is he a negger though? Amod, we need logs!

Yeah. It is unfortunate though that when it comes to Turing, the fact he was queer was more important than the fact he made major contributions to the war effort and SCIENCE. I mean it's a shitty story pretty much all around. It's the kind of story that you don't need to dramatize, just the...

FUTBOL

That would make you a quitter. And if there is one thing worse than a loser, it's a quitter. And just to pile on about how evil alcohol can be, addiction is only part of it. A lifelong drunk will fuck his stomach up so badly that he actually requires supplemental b12 to not die. Pernicious...

Not to pile on, but there's no way that "total abstinence" is only slightly less bad than binge drinking when compared with moderate drinking. I mean... that's just factually incorrect. Because what you find is differentratesandtypesof conditions between populations. It's perfectly fine...

quit fuckin around, that's a golf ball. Stop giving Tanoomba more ammunition.

Selma barely got nominated. So much angst. LOLZ. I'm sure it was purely because of technicalities on the part of "The Academy" or whatever, but man am I glad they didn't full bore the historical fiction MLK movie. Releasing that movie so near to the awards is such a cynical bit of...

At the end of Blazing Saddles when they storm out of the Studios there's a bunch of unscripted extras just walking around.

Aww, that's beautiful. You went all drunk and nuts on an ex! I've done the Swingers answering machine call before. Oh god, so embarrassing. Good times. Good times.

I CLAIM THE RIGHT OF PRIMAE NOCTIS. YOU BETTER NOT BE GETTING GAY MARRIED FOR TAX PURPOSES.

Having been in this situation once (not with a wife, but even worse... with a girlfriend that I really did like!) I was surprised to find out that I wasn't at all pissed off at the other dude. I mean I understood. I expected that if it ever happened to me I'd probably be raged at the dude...

Peeing outside is more fun though. I do that a lot still. Less than I used to. I was walking with a friend one evening. Just sort of a slow amble, listening to her prattle. And so I step behind a bush real quick and start letting loose. She didn't notice I'd peeled off until she was...

Sometimes I'll pee in the shower just because I'm too lazy to lift the toilet seat.