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I certainly prefer flowers. Know what's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ. /dumbjoketime

You've definitely come to the right place.

Yeah. My kids like them, too.

Well, I'm glad you're back.

You could put that on a t-shirt and sell it at any dentist office. It's your new retirement plan!

Waterpik has done excellent things for my kids teeth. They just don't floss like they should, but they don't mind doing that. Yeah, it does nothing floss can't do for most people, but if they don't want to floss, but are willing to use this thing, it's a good trade-off. My wife's teeth are...

Tell her you can get a group discount, and we can both get one!

You should probably up your meds.

I want Notre Dame to shock and awe you. It's possible.

That totally clears up several things.

Oh Texas. WTF.

What the hell kind of paint are you using?

Can you explain why you would shut off a breaker for the furnace to paint?

Man, Notre Dame never makes it look easy. Fumbles and missed extra points. They're still winning, and the defense is pushing Navy's shit in, but this should be a cakewalk for the Irish. Navy is pretty rough this year. I guess we all now know how over rated Wisconsin was this year.

Find the ibuprofen with caffeine. One of those in the afternoon really helps.

If you're ever near Whitehall Michigan (20 miles north of Muskegon), go to Fetch Brewery. They have a bunch of very good beer. The problem is, they don't distribute. They only sell from their single location. They have a real variety. They have one called "Pleasure Pit," and it's an apricot...

I got to that point a couple years ago, and I went through the awful withdrawal and stuck it out. I drink decaf now, and only a cup or two a day. I miss the caffeine, but as I roast my own decaf, I get a good roast on it, and it has a full body flavour. I've served it to people without telling...

I have this weird thing where I sweat quite a lot if I'm doing anything remotely physical. If I'm just working at the computer or walking or such I don't sweat, but if I start doing anything more physical, I'm a sweaty beast. The weird part is that I never get stinky. This is certified by my...

Find youtube videos. You can do this yourself, and there is plenty of information out there to help you.

People who send their kids to undergrad private schools without scholarships are crazy. Even if your kids want to go on to graduate school, where you do your undergrad isn't a big consideration. Do well in your undergrad at a state school, your options are wide open. And then you can come out of...

Dude. Peanut butter differences are huge. Get Kraft chunky from Canada. It's totally different. So much better As far as spaghetti sauce...I make my own. So whatever.

Here is me 1180 6189 2416 I added a bunch of you, will try to add the rest later.

Well, I'd hire the best financial person I could find before picking up the winnings. Have them get things right - someone who knows what the heck they are doing. That has to be the first thing. I already have a financial person, but I'd need someone on another level. Once that is set up, I'd...

If someone slapped my ten year old, I'd likely go ballistic. However, it's a whole lot more likely that I'd have taken care of the situation long before anyone else felt the need to slap my kid. THAT is the difference. It's called parenting. If your kid is being a shit, take care of it. All...

I've had a similar situation. A close friend went through a divorce, and his son (who was nine when the divorce happened) turned into an absolute bastard jackass motherfucking jerk. I don't typically talk that way of kids, but this kid was just an asshole. I understand that he went through...

Well, Ohio State exposed. And then there were three.... Rankings should be wild this week.

HO LEEE SHEEEEET Ohio State train wreck. This is freaking awesome.

WTF Toronto?

Does that include wardrobe concerns? I didn't wanna say anything, but...

Don't sell your bike until spring. That's really the only way you're going to do really well selling it yourself.

Man, Calgary is in charge tonight. Caps didn't wow me tonight, that's for sure, but a good win, nonetheless.

We've got a thirty gallon tank with two angel fish and two koi. They have been in the tank for four years. They are all huge - Next spring the koi are going in the pond I'm making by our deck. Not sure what to do with the angel fish, might keep the tank going. These fish are jerks. They won't...

Yeah, that's a bummer. Those are quality bikes. I chose to go with a BMW instead, too, but that was a close second.

Shit, man. I live with four women with long hair. It shows up in the most unfortunate places. I swear, I could build another daughter out of the hair we collect.

Dude, I have an undergraduate with majors in music and history, and minors in English and philosophy. A masters in systematic musicology, a Ph.D. in musicology, and a D.M.A. in conducting. I've never been short on work. It isn't your degrees that are holding you back. It's your shitty attitude...