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First Apple watch:

Did the picture involve buns and wieners?

Yeah, that's what I'm hoping, too.

You're a saint.

Today it's good for me, too. I think it has a menstrual cycle, and this is a light flow day.

I'm of a slightly different opinion on this. So often sequels are made trying to continue to ride on the success of the first movie, and they write it too quickly, produce it too quickly, and it suffers. If this one is to be a winner at the box office, they're going to have to produce the same...

Second page loads instantly. That's because it's all text. First page takes so long to load, it makes Jesus sad.

This thread gave me diarrhea. How is that even possible?

Why the hell haven't you called me?

It has been 50 degrees here today and yesterday, and a remarkable amount of snow has disappeared. The roads are bare enough that I'm going to ride my motorcycle tomorrow. That's fun. But I hope we get one more monster storm to cap off the winter season.

That's hilarious. I wish I had that kind of time on my hands to make/edit something like that.

So, just to be clear, you coworker lying to you is illegal and discrimination? Is that what you're saying? Your coworkers have absolutely no obligation to tell you anything about their hours, and if you're a shit employee, why would you get as many hours as other employees who are not shit...

Toronto beating the Islanders after one period. What's going on?

Your wife has a fucking watermelon growing inside her. I know it sucks to deal with the hormones and the needs and that shit, but at least you don't have to push a bowling ball out your dick hole, or deal with the discomfort of it all for 9 months. I'm not of the "pregnant women can do no...

I just asked my wife if her personality was more Tinder or bar whore, as those are apparently the only two options. She said bar whore. Should I be worried, guys?

Scalding coffee enemas and anal sex. It's the only solution. More seriously, though, probably a little more attention to what she's eating and drinking will help. My wife ended up drinking quite a bit of prune juice or equivalent, and this issue went away.

I have difficulty not slapping myself and my significant other in the face while we're both seated at the dinner table because of my length. That's normal, right.

When you respond to your own post, do you use a different voice, or is it just that a different voice in your head is speaking at that time?

I really think Brad should suck it up, get back in here, and bring us up to date on all the progress being made. Unless there really is no progress, in which case he's going to continue hiding. Either way, you know that he reads this thread.

The were correct.

And that's clearly discrimination to you? Jebus cross-checking Mary in the crease, you are more narcissistic than a politician.

How did he discriminate against you?

Where is the discrimination? You haven't actually provided any examples. How am I discriminating against you by saying that you are crazy? You have clearly demonstrated in this thread that you are, and all I am doing is responding to the things that you say. I'm not discriminating against...

Oh, have I now joined the group that is in on the conspiracy? The entire world is in on it, and you're just a victim, right? I want to make sure I have this correct. Any time anyone says anything at all to you that isn't in line with what you'd like people to say, you're being discriminated...

No, I'm pointing out that you're being ridiculous.

Now you've got it. The entire world is conspiring against you in order to discriminate against you. Everyone. Everywhere. All your former employers, and every single person with whom you have ever worked are obviously working together. It can't possibly be that you're a complete douche canoe...

That's not discrimination, that's them being jerks. It's different. And, frankly (Ann Frankly), who can blame them? Would you want to deal with yourself if you didn't have to?

I entirely understand what you're saying. Fortunately for me, my days are more understandable to my spouse than yours are, so I don't have to have the same separation that you do. It would be hard for me to have a job that my spouse wouldn't understand the finer points of. That shit has to be...

Still dealing with assholes on the road. Don't make me deal with them once home...

And hairy armpits.

Yeah, I'll give you that. The Greek yogurt craze is having an impact on the other products available to us. But it's pretty delicious, if you get the right kind. And, if you ever get the chance when you're in a Greek or Middle Eastern restaurant, I'd encourage you to try real Greek/Middle...

Censoring?

There are many good things about having communication things like this in place so that you can do two things: 1. tell your SO that you're in a shit mood, and leave me the fuck alone for a while or I'm going to be ugly 2. tell your SO that (s)he's in a shit mood, and they better go the fuck...

This makes me crave steak.