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The trick with home grown is to grow so many that you can't possibly eat them all. Trust me, it's possible. We ate tomatoes until we couldn't possibly eat more, and still made tomato sauce AND salsa by the gallon.

I tend to singe the hair off my scrotum with a cooking torch.

I've made sauce with canned tomatoes, with store bought tomatoes, and with home grown, freshly picked ripe tomatoes. You can't believe the difference it makes when you use the fresh, ripe, home grown tomatoes. Unreal. But making it with store bought tomatoes in January in the north is no...

So, if you hold a passed out hooker up high in your arms at the edge of a cliff, will a theme song start playing, or will you get arrested?

During cold and flu season it isn't a bad idea to put out a few hand sanitizer pumps. Put one in the kitchen, one in your kids bedroom, clean your hands before feeding him, before and after changing, and so forth. Not fool proof, but I think it's a good idea. Our local elementary schools...

Good grief, that is just fanfuckingtastic. Really glad for you!

The true first miracle was changing piss squirt to wine. It's a Christmas miracle.

You guys are more entertaining than the game ever will be. Keep going!

Bloody lol Well done, sir.

He may slap you for that.

I pictured you as more of a loofah sponge than a washcloth kind of guy.

Will you please teach me that look? That sounds awesome.

Yeah, I'm a Notre Dame fan, and after the showing they put forward in the second half of the season, they shouldn't be ranked to start the season. They should earn their way into the rankings. Now, that said, I do think they'll end up being a ranked team next year. Golson is not going to...

So, first year of a college playoff system doesn't count, right?

Ohio State has the ball back. Watch them eat half the clock here. If they get a single first down, the game is over.

I don't follow the NFL at all. Seems as though the refs have decided that Ohio State has won this game.

Well, this game sucks. Oregon is the better team, but not tonight. Looks like the team all went out and partied last night. If Ohio State does end up winning this, I'm not looking at any college football news until late August. I can't stand Ohio State fans.

Oregon Offense forgot how to football.

I hate Ohio State. A lot. Oregon is gonna tear them a new one. I don't care if Ohio State just scored. Fuck them right in the pussy.

This, too, seems appropriate.

Ducks will win tonight, 31-21

This seems appropriate for this thread.

We did not get married right out of college, and I had considerable assets before marriage, whereas she had considerable debt. Things still seem to be working out... I understand the desire to have some recourse for a failed marriage, but I don't function well that way. If I make allowances...

Wow, this is very interesting to me. My wife and I have always had 100% merged accounts/finances, and we don't even talk about who makes more, we consider both our incomes as "the income." I never worry that she's going to overspend on anything, nor do I ever feel the need to justify anything...

The prep is easy, but it's keeping the temperature right, and letting it rest long enough that's the trick.

This. It is amazing.

He likes their clean, clean butts.

You need bigger bowls, man.