Dating

Oblio · Mar 21, 2023

pharmakos said:
I genuinely don't mean to be arrogant when I say this, but I'm a pretty good looking guy. I could stand to work out more but I'm slender, tall and dark with kind eyes, and a very big dick

So that wasn't you in the in the last photo (that you have since deleted)? Because that guy looked like Napolean Dynamite had a kid with Jared from Subway.

pharmakos said:
Of note, perhaps -- even tho I've dated five women in the last three years since my ex fiancee left me, I haven't had sex with any of them. Told myself I'm tired of sleeping around and I want my next one to be my last one. And so I bide my time.

I understand this to a point, but I think there is a chance it will create false feelings. Or perhaps you will paint yourself into a corner, if you have sex with "the one" to only find out later that she wasn't "the one."

Rajaah I meant to follow up to your post the other day about the second date thing. With very little to go on it sounds like your lack of making plans is the most likely answer. Be assertive, worst case scenario is she says "no" to a second date while on the first date and then you don't have to waste your time being ghosted/wondering.

Animosity · Mar 21, 2023

No one should be taking advice from pharmakos. He obsesses over women who he doesnt even have sex with.

pharmakos · Mar 21, 2023

Oblio said:
So that wasn't you in the in the last photo (that you have since deleted)? Because that guy looked like Napolean Dynamite had a kid with Jared from Subway.

I understand this to a point, but I think there is a chance it will create false feelings. Or perhaps you will paint yourself into a corner, if you have sex with "the one" to only find out later that she wasn't "the one."

Rajaah I meant to follow up to your post the other day about the second date thing. With very little to go on it sounds like your lack of making plans is the most likely answer. Be assertive, worst case scenario is she says "no" to a second date while on the first date and then you don't have to waste your time being ghosted/wondering.

Lol no that was the husband that divorced her.

Me last year at age 35:

Note that I'm 6'1" that helps too.

Oblio said:
I understand this to a point, but I think there is a chance it will create false feelings. Or perhaps you will paint yourself into a corner, if you have sex with "the one" to only find out later that she wasn't "the one."

If she ain't willing to wait til I know for sure then she ain't the one. I'm not trying to play the numbers game anymore.

pharmakos · Mar 21, 2023

I think lately the whole "stage 4 cancer survivor who endured four years of chemotherapy" thing is drawing in some of the crazy+sappy types. The insane hopeless romantic chicks.

Problem is they come into my life and expect that their presence will fix everything. And when it doesn't thet get butthurt.

Chukzombi · Mar 21, 2023

ShakyJake said:
I've stopped dating because I don't feel physically attracted to women who are at or near my own age. However, I also couldn't handle the personality of someone much younger.

I'm sort of the opposite, i like how older italian women look, more hardcore looking or something. chicks like that knows where to put the donkey. what is not attractive is the older a woman gets, the more baggage she accumulates. mine is 44 and has loads of baggage and i have to endure her constantly yelling at her kids or yelling about her kids. thankfully, one is leaving for college soon and the other is a little boy who loves video games. he's not mine, but he reminds me of me at that age. we get along well and my girl likes that.

Daidraco · Mar 21, 2023

Maybe my 2 cents will help cause I didnt really mean to click this thread. You have to find common ground with a girl you like. If you're simping over some girl, then you have to find the things she does and find joy in them yourself. If she likes hiking and posts pictures of that shit, then go find a trail on your own and breathe some fucking fresh air. Do this often. If she's a Gym rat - then go find a gym you like and do your best to get in shape. If she likes water sports, dont let broke hold you back - you dont need a boat. Go do white water rafting and/or kayaking. If she likes fear sports like Skydiving - go do that shit yourself. Get trained for it so you dont need to have a babysitter on your back. etc. etc.

Most of this shit is easy, even for older folks. But if you really get down to the brass tax here - if you dont like none of this shit and she does, why would you ever think she is going to date you? Or, on the other side of this coin - If she doesnt like you even though you find this stuff interesting and fun then by extension you'll eventually meet a girl that does like you that you find attractive. The life events of the original girl that lead her to liking those activities put her where she is and its molded her look and personality to be something that you find attractive - so youll find another girl that has those same features doing that and she may like you.

If you're afraid to talk to a specific girl, or just get anxious as fuck around her - then you need to work that out yourself. There is something about yourself that keeps you from being "you" around that girl and even though its looked down upon, a therapist is your best friend. Mental Issue.

Lastly, if you're getting dates just fine but none of the women you're going on dates with interest you.. You need to go see a doctor about low testosterone. Not joking, its a real thing that men in our age range deal with. Health issue.

Ive went through ALL the above. I didnt get the girl I was after. She married a millionaire and they live in Australia now. But I did get in shape. I did find an activity/hobby I like doing. My life is better because of those two things which indirectly helped me make more money so I can do more stuff. Which indirectly let me find the girl Im with now, for the past 6 years. Longest relationship Ive ever had.

I knew I had low T from the docs and going to the Gym helped me out tremendously with that issue. As far as a therapist goes, I had a lot of issues from my childhood and the military when it came to dating, what dating represents, marriage, children etc. and Im still working through a lot of those things. She helped me recognize my self worth which helped me overcome the anxiety I would get around the girl that I was simping for originally. Now shes working on helping me with commitment, and the issues that are a reflection of my parents issues when it comes to marriage and children.

All in all - get healthy guys. Even if you're an ugly fuck, if you go to the gym often enough - she'll look at your muscles instead.

Oblio · Mar 21, 2023

pharmakos said:
Lol no that was the husband that divorced her.

Me last year at age 35:

Note that I'm 6'1" that helps too.

View attachment 464745

If she ain't willing to wait til I know for sure then she ain't the one. I'm not trying to play the numbers game anymore.

Bro you may have some family money as well. Any chance that you have never met your biological father?

pharmakos · Mar 21, 2023

Oblio said:
Bro you may have some family money as well. Any chance that you have never met your biological father?

View attachment 464760

My dad is pretty well off he's just a selfish prick lol

Rajaah · Mar 22, 2023

slippery said:
So, results of date yesterday.

I don't really know how to put in words. It was fine, nothing was wrong, conversation was good. Seems to be down to Earth and reasonable. It was an enjoyable evening. I just don't feel a spark, can't decide if should continue.

Take her to something more fun. Sounds like you just sat down and chatted. Maybe go to a dance or a walk.

I tended to have better luck when my first date or two with a woman were fun activities. In my hometown we had this thing called "The Drum & Dance" which was what it sounds like, people forming a drum circle while a horde of people of all shapes and sizes (well, mostly hot people) dance in the middle of it. They dimmed the lights a lot which took away self-consciousness. I took my first girlfriend there on several of our first few dates and she had an amazing time. Then on the 2nd or 3rd I'll sit down with them and have a chat because by then there's built-in chemistry even if the chat is mundane, which it often is with me.

If you felt no spark though, then IDK. Give it one more shot and do something higher energy, unless you get ghosted after one date like Pimp Masta R over here, of course.

slippery said:
No, nothing stood out to me. Obviously that isn't to say there aren't any, but nothing came out. She has common sense about your political issues along the lines of like Electric cars being a scam (her Dad was a mechanic and bitches about them a lot), police stuff, lots of bullshit corruption tied to money, etc. She's home schooling her 14 y/o daughter for the past few years because she was a teacher and saw what was going on in schools. The stuff she tells me about her daughter tends me to believe she's raising her right and has a good kid. She has a good heart. She's bigger, so it's possible I'm just being vain and the physical is holding me off from really connecting, and is something I would probably get over. IT could just be something that needs more time, dunno.

She sounds pretty cool actually. Weight can be lost. I've seen several women burn it off with astonishing speed once they started dating me, and freshly-slimmed-down women usually feel super sexy about themselves for a while (which is good for whoever they're with).

Wait, electric cars are a scam? Here I am trying to get a Tesla...

ShakyJake said:
I've stopped dating because I don't feel physically attracted to women who are at or near my own age. However, I also couldn't handle the personality of someone much younger.

I feel that. I'm usually only attracted to women in a very narrow-band Habitable Zone of age 25-30. My range is discouraging for me because I know I'm limiting myself a lot.

Kriptini said:
Not sure how old you are, but if you're still trying to date in the late 20s/early 30s range, do not even bother setting up your profile until you have six really good photos. You should have a good variety of photos that are all at least decent-looking and give a peek into what your life looks like. It's superficial, but you don't want to get filtered out by good women because you have sketchy photos. Unfortunately, that's the culture.

39. I have plenty of good photos, the problem is almost all of them are from 2019 or earlier since I basically ceased 9/10ths of my socializing in mid-2020 onward and I'm just not there anymore. I have a few from Halloween 2019 week where I'm out with girls, and I assume pictures like that still get you points because they make you look like you probably aren't a psycho and meet the Female Approval Test. That's about as recent as they go. I don't look that much different now at all, but if you look at me under some good sunlight, the past couple years of BS have definitely done a number on my tired eyes.

Rajaah · Mar 22, 2023

Daidraco said:
Lastly, if you're getting dates just fine but none of the women you're going on dates with interest you.. You need to go see a doctor about low testosterone. Not joking, its a real thing that men in our age range deal with. Health issue.

Yeah, I have this problem, and a bunch of other symptoms of low testosterone.

Got it checked a couple months ago, said normal levels.

I think my levels were above normal ten years ago so I'm down from where I was, but still what is considered normal.

Doesn't feel like it though.

I'd love to get some T shots. Yeah I know it'll just make me want to bang all the time. I'd take that over my current total lack of interest.

My long-time GF ruined women for me in a lot of ways by being so funny and fun. Everyone else is so goddamn dull compared to how she was. That only explains so much though, even when I meet people who are fun I'm...unmotivated? physically.

Doc isn't gonna give me T shots or anything though. So I guess gym it up to increase T level.

Does gymming it up also increase T levels in women? Cause if so, then it stands to reason that gym rats would have huge libidos. I've been with two women who were exercise nuts and one of them had a sky high libido, the other had a medium one.

Daidraco · Mar 22, 2023

Rajaah said:
Yeah, I have this problem, and a bunch of other symptoms of low testosterone.

Got it checked a couple months ago, said normal levels.

I think my levels were above normal ten years ago so I'm down from where I was, but still what is considered normal.

Doesn't feel like it though.

I'd love to get some T shots. Yeah I know it'll just make me want to bang all the time. I'd take that over my current total lack of interest.

My long-time GF ruined women for me in a lot of ways by being so funny and fun. Everyone else is so goddamn dull compared to how she was. That only explains so much though, even when I meet people who are fun I'm...unmotivated? physically.

You have to keep in mind that a Doctor is going to have a wide range for what is an acceptable amount of Testosterone. Ask for it or go to other doctors until you get it. Once you have it - see what changes in your life and if you like how it changes your life.

As far as what you said about your ex - just sounds like you're still hung up on her.

Kriptini · Mar 22, 2023

Rajaah said:
39. I have plenty of good photos, the problem is almost all of them are from 2019 or earlier since I basically ceased 9/10ths of my socializing in mid-2020 onward and I'm just not there anymore. I have a few from Halloween 2019 week where I'm out with girls, and I assume pictures like that still get you points because they make you look like you probably aren't a psycho and meet the Female Approval Test. That's about as recent as they go. I don't look that much different now at all, but if you look at me under some good sunlight, the past couple years of BS have definitely done a number on my tired eyes.

Should be okay, just make sure they're good photos. Cinematic depth-of-field, good contrast and color balance, etc.

pharmakos · Mar 22, 2023

Rajaah said:
39. I have plenty of good photos, the problem is almost all of them are from 2019 or earlier since I basically ceased 9/10ths of my socializing in mid-2020 onward and I'm just not there anymore. I have a few from Halloween 2019 week where I'm out with girls, and I assume pictures like that still get you points because they make you look like you probably aren't a psycho and meet the Female Approval Test. That's about as recent as they go. I don't look that much different now at all, but if you look at me under some good sunlight, the past couple years of BS have definitely done a number on my tired eyes.

Go for a walk and take selfies in front of interesting buildings, looking cheerful. Not 100% the ideal but it's a pretty good way to do it. I just took a pretty good selfie in front of The Castle Museum here in Saginaw that makes me look like I'm in some exotic location since it's a super old building that looks like a castle

pharmakos · Mar 22, 2023

Daidraco said:
You have to keep in mind that a Doctor is going to have a wide range for what is an acceptable amount of Testosterone. Ask for it or go to other doctors until you get it. Once you have it - see what changes in your life and if you like how it changes your life.

As far as what you said about your ex - just sounds like you're still hung up on her.

Yeah some doctors will give the stuff to pretty much any middle aged or older man that asks for it unless their levels come back super high in the first place. Inside "normal range" but in the middle or low end is enough for some doctors. Because different men need different amounts of testosterone to function correctly anyway, due to different genetics and etc. So hard to say what the right level is for any given individual.

Foler · Mar 22, 2023

ShakyJake said:
I've stopped dating because I don't feel physically attracted to women who are at or near my own age. However, I also couldn't handle the personality of someone much younger.

MGTOW

Rajaah · Mar 23, 2023

Daidraco said:
As far as what you said about your ex - just sounds like you're still hung up on her.

Yeah, I guess I am. You would be too:

Really shoulda asked her to marry me like, at any point in those seven years or so, cause I'll never have that chance again, but I gotta live with my choices.

Rajaah · Mar 23, 2023

Kriptini said:
Should be okay, just make sure they're good photos. Cinematic depth-of-field, good contrast and color balance, etc.

I found one of the Halloween 2019 photos, and another more recent (I think it might be 2021). Probably the best recent things I have with me in them. Hair was different lengths, and both shorter than now, though. So I don't know if they're usable. Which is too bad because they're probably my best photos that aren't more than four years old.

Yeah, the hair causes me some problems in the picture department...

I'll have to take some new ones, I guess. And maybe re-socialize with some of the girls I've fallen totally out of touch with!

Izo · Mar 23, 2023

Rajaah said:
Yeah, I guess I am. You would be too:

View attachment 465157
View attachment 465155
View attachment 465154

Really shoulda asked her to marry me like, at any point in those seven years or so, cause I'll never have that chance again, but I gotta live with my choices.

The FOH naughty bits and tits thread

I'm over there as Herv again. Just tell me where to post my wife's tits... @Herv Right here, mate.

www.firesofheaven.org

Sharing is caring, fren

Lambourne · Mar 23, 2023

Pro tip: run your pictures through photofeeler. Basically you specify the type of person you're targeting and it will be shown to users in that demographic and they rate how much they like your picture. You "pay" by rating other people's pictures for them.

Some pictures I thought were good (DSLR, outdoor, decent background and all that) actually did very poorly. Some were divisive (some girls loved my picture with my cat, others hated it - good way to filter out poor matches). Also found that ZZ Top weren't lying about sharp dressed men, the picture I had that did by far the best was one where I was in uniform. Can barely even see my face in it, I'll take that one on the chin and as long as women are reacting positively to it, I'll use it.

I'll warn you that a bunch of of your pictures are going to do badly and that can feel like a punch in the gut, try not to take it too personally and remember that it's primarily a photo contest. If all of em do badly, maybe your presentation needs work. Men tend to buy clothes that are too large and you just look like a slob, proper fit matters more than expensive brands.

Avoid selfies, the short distance to the camera makes you look ugly. Just ask random people in public to take your picture in front of something interesting (preferably people shorter than you).

Photofeeler | Unbiased Photo Feedback for Business, Social, and Dating Profiles.

Quality photos attract quality opportunities. What are your business, social, and dating pics saying about you?

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Animosity · Mar 23, 2023

pharmakos said:
Go for a walk and take selfies in front of interesting buildings, looking cheerful. Not 100% the ideal but it's a pretty good way to do it. I just took a pretty good selfie in front of The Castle Museum here in Saginaw that makes me look like I'm in some exotic location since it's a super old building that looks like a castle

Do this if you want zero likes. Selfies are the worst kind of pictures to use on a dating profile. Use pictures of you doing stuff, and have a friend take a couple good pictures of just you.

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