Dating

Conefed said:

I'm in an awkward situation.

Someone four positions above me making significantly more than me has used their power to position themselves romantically with me

It's nice having a sugarmomma to be fair and she's great with my child and puppy, she's good at hugs and cuddles, isn't unpleasant to communicate with, washes my dishes, and is overall positive and encouraging. All things that might total to overlooking the other things.

But she's not fit. Not in appearance not in bed. Her bjs are fine, but I don't enjoy the sex - saving grace is she has low stamina, last night I used headache to get out.

She's a crystal, auras, greater power person also but compared to my previous crazies that's nothing. My child and I just roll our eyes and take the wins she provides.

Tonight she has dinner with my aunt and cousin.

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Start doing a lot of physical activities. She either gets fit or hates it and leaves you. You have no option of leaving her.

Conefed said:

I'm in an awkward situation.

Someone four positions above me making significantly more than me has used their power to position themselves romantically with me

It's nice having a sugarmomma to be fair and she's great with my child and puppy, she's good at hugs and cuddles, isn't unpleasant to communicate with, washes my dishes, and is overall positive and encouraging. All things that might total to overlooking the other things.

But she's not fit. Not in appearance not in bed. Her bjs are fine, but I don't enjoy the sex - saving grace is she has low stamina, last night I used headache to get out.

She's a crystal, auras, greater power person also but compared to my previous crazies that's nothing. My child and I just roll our eyes and take the wins she provides.

Tonight she has dinner with my aunt and cousin.

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Reverse the genders and picture yourself being the younger/junior person at work and some creep ass director is using his position to get in her pants/feel his youth. The girl is okay with it because he's nice and pays for things and so on... but she not attracted and eventually will leave.

You need to do the same, and for pity's sake I'd do it before the lady develops even more feelings than she probably already does. On the other hand, if she just sees your as a boy toy thats probably fine, you just need to make sure you're on the same page.

As with all relationship questions - talk it out. Let her know where you are with this (you're fine with the casual relationship but don't see it as a long term thing) and make sure she's the same, or there will be tough times ahead.

I'd also go ahead and update your CV.

Marry her, divorce and take half, retire.

Hoss said:

Does your company have a reporting requirement for shit like that, and if so, have you reported your relationship to HR?

I'm not telling you to do it now, I'm just curious if it's been done.

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That has happened at my company a few times that I know of. The person above the other gets fired, every time. The person below essentially has their career dead ended and leave on their own shortly after. No one wants to take on someone that partook in that.

Hoss said:

I've seen it multiple times at my company. All they do is make sure one never reports to the other. They move people around as needed. I know of 2 couples who met here and got married. One of those couples is divorced now and it was fucking ugly. Like, trashing an office ugly. But no one ever got fired directly for any it as far as I know.

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Ah I didn’t read the original statement correctly. I’ve seen people get into a relationship and disclose it and they are fine, they just move them to a different reporting structure. The ones that hide it are the ones that end the way I described. I was only talking about the ones who get reported through an ethics hotline. In each case, at least one of the people was married to someone else, which is, I’m assuming, why they didn’t disclose it.

I assume Conefed hasn’t disclosed it out of pure shame.

Tmac said:

So, I manage to get a lot of matches on dating apps, but I fkn fail at keeping these women engaged long enough to go on a date or even respond after we've matched. I realize that for every like a woman gives me cute chicks get 100 from men, so that figures.

If I slow play the text game they disappear. If I ask for a date super early they tend to disappear. The longer I've been on the app the worse it's gotten bc I went on 5 dates my first month on the app. Then several friends started giving me advice on what to do (when I didn't need it) and haven't been on a date in the last couple weeks.

It doesn't help that I'm outside a major city and don't want to drive 45 miles away to go on a date... lul

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I wonder why men are giving up on dating at record breaking numbers. Guess we will never know.

Tmac said:

IMO the dating apps have built addictive dopamine money machines and don't even care about setting up dates.

On Tinder I have 24 likes in 2 days, but I have to pay $20 to see who they are, but meanwhile I've matched with noone. My guess is that all the likes are women older than me and 50 - 100 lbs overweight.

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Yeah, even if it was free I am not sure I would do it. In my 40s and been married for almost 20 years. If something happened to my wife I’d most likely just end up being single til I died unless I met someone organically which is extremely unlikely at my age and small circle of friends. The effort you seem to have to put forth to even get something started with a complete stranger only to be disappointed again and again would just be a giant “fuck this” from me.

This is just me imagining it btw. Who knows, maybe I’d be so lonely I would try.