Dating
- Thread starter pharmakos
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Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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I don't dress in any particular way to indicate wealth though, I don't wear jewelry of any kind, I have an apple watch. Don't wear anything flashy or designer. The sandals I wear everywhere are like 15 years old. I think they just like the look of authority that older men embody.
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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I realize I'm coming in kinda late but what in the good god damn fuck is the difference?
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Designer clothes? Flashy? How you dress? What do you mean? That's Miami/L.A. horseshit.
What's your zip code? What does that waitress overhear you talking about? Where do you hang out? Who do you associate with? Women aren't as stupid and vapid as most men like to think they are. They might be shallow but they know what to look for. Older women taught them that.
Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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I'm talking about chicks trying to talk to you at like the gym, the grocery store, pickleball, stuff like that. Not anyplace where you give off a money vibe.
But I do understand what you're saying and agree, but I don't know how these chicks would know any of that stuff at the places I'm talking about.
Sheriff Cad
scientia potentia est
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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TheAylix
Vyemm Raider
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We are leaving money on the table every second we don't work on this.
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I know this will sound like the ultimate whiny bitch but I don't care. I did not go to college until I was 24. From 18-24 I was making real good money. Enough I started with a new 4wd truck, a nice apartment, a new car, then bought a house.
Sounds like paradise. And it was kinda. But everyone you knew from high school and such hated my ass. They were in college trying to get by and starting their career.
It attracted a lot of women they were fresh out of high school. Not as big of a bonus as it sounds. I should have tried trolling around campus but I was working. Then college I still was around a number of girls fresh out of high school. It changed later on.
But I belive in the dating someone who is a rebel kinda deal. I dated a girl out of high school for a few years. Her mother was a teacher and I was a drop out. She had a lot going on besides great looks. I didn't udnerstand it other than she wanted to rub it in her mothers face. She eventually married a naval officer and go to attend the kind of func tions she wanted that I didn't. She wound up owning a yoga place and running 5k-10k or whatever they are often. Should of, could of, didn't lol. I used to tell her she was crazy for wanting to be a pro beach volleyball player, she now lives at the beach.
Sounds like paradise. And it was kinda. But everyone you knew from high school and such hated my ass. They were in college trying to get by and starting their career.
It attracted a lot of women they were fresh out of high school. Not as big of a bonus as it sounds. I should have tried trolling around campus but I was working. Then college I still was around a number of girls fresh out of high school. It changed later on.
But I belive in the dating someone who is a rebel kinda deal. I dated a girl out of high school for a few years. Her mother was a teacher and I was a drop out. She had a lot going on besides great looks. I didn't udnerstand it other than she wanted to rub it in her mothers face. She eventually married a naval officer and go to attend the kind of func tions she wanted that I didn't. She wound up owning a yoga place and running 5k-10k or whatever they are often. Should of, could of, didn't lol. I used to tell her she was crazy for wanting to be a pro beach volleyball player, she now lives at the beach.
Control
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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You're sabotaging yourself for whatever reason. You can't make things perfect before you start, it doesn't work that way. You find something worth starting, start it, then you work on making it better. If at some point later you decide, ok, it's not good enough and you can't make it better, well ok, that's how shit works out sometimes. But nothing is ever going to get great if you don't give it a chance. All the overthinking you're doing it just trying to logic yourself out of giving it a chance. That's fine if you don't want it. If you do, then stop worrying about the little things. And yes, everything you're worried about is little things. Compared to who you're going to spend your life next to, everything is a little thing.
Also, figure out if you want kids asamfp, and move heaven and earth to make it happen if you do. You can't untick that clock.
imo, it's called the smell of having your shit together. We're all constantly emitting thousands of micro-cues, and women have evolved to instantly (and subconsciously) recognize the ones that matter to them. Confidence and competence smell the same in a tshirt and flipflops. (I mean, obviously they have daddy issues, but they still have to figure out who smells most like daddy!)
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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If you have been trying to meditate, this is a good moment to put it to use. Fear and doubt will always take the wheel if you don't find the root causes and fix them. In order to do that you need to listen to yourself. When you are at your most agitated, and emptying your thoughts is hardest, is when it becomes most effective.
Figure out what is driving you in order to be able to make the right decision in the long run.
That said, try before you buy is always good if the option is there. Seeing what his life is about may clear up a lot of your reservations, or confirm them. Either way you will have a lot more information to draw from.
Haus
I am Big Balls!
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OK.
Koushirou
, I'm gonna frame this with my up front full disclosure. I'm in my 50's, happily married for over 20 years now. But I also stalled and delayed about getting married and being "serious" for various reasons I kept convincing myself were valid in my 20's that I now look back on and laugh. It's reasonable to want to protect yourself and your heart since it's obvious you've been through a bad marriage. But there's a whole scene in a Home Alone movie about this... (timestamped and everything...)
With that said, you're also getting a lot of relationship advice from a bunch of middle aged guys, most of whom seem to be married who for whatever reason find entertaining posting in a dating threat on a pixalated elf girl web forum. So you kinda have to take that into consideration as well.
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OK.
(timestamped and everything...)
With that said, you're also getting a lot of relationship advice from a bunch of middle aged guys, most of whom seem to be married who for whatever reason find entertaining posting in a dating threat on a pixalated elf girl web forum. So you kinda have to take that into consideration as well.
I mean the dude is a liberal brooklyn jew who runs a bike shop. Im not sure how you square that.
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I was hoping that everyone I’ve talked to basically being in agreement would help me just get over it and try, but I’ve already found myself trying to distance from him.
Simple question:
Am I more likely to figure out if I actually love this guy by staying with him and constantly getting fed external validation that I crave so much or by taking a break and seeing if the novelty wears off or if I still miss and want him after learning to be on my own?
Simple question:
Am I more likely to figure out if I actually love this guy by staying with him and constantly getting fed external validation that I crave so much or by taking a break and seeing if the novelty wears off or if I still miss and want him after learning to be on my own?
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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real life isn't a romcom. Go see if you annoy the everloving shit out of each other doing regular daily shit.
Also, I think you misunderestimate your ability to be on your own. I read about your worthless ex. You were basically on your own all those years raising a child.
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Haus
I am Big Balls!
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Bottom line reality here. You have three possible paths :
- Try and succeed
- Try and fail
- Don't try
Now here's when I'm going to get a little meaner than I really like being but I feel this needs to be said. If you had some endless fountain of mancake lining up then maybe you could be of the "I'll catch the next one in 5 minutes" school of thought. If you only find a viable candidate infrequently, then you're going to get a limited number of "at bats" and should make sure you at least swing at some hittable pitches. Sounds like despite this guy having some tick marks that don't immediately line up to your perfect image you're still attracted enough to want it. That's often my first sign you really like a person.
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