Depression

The outreach the program I started is multi state (potentially) at this point where as before it was a single county. I’m not upset in the least at the decision I made, the amount of people being helped is insane and that’s what matters most.

I knew what I was doing, it’s just the end I had planned came 6 months earlier, which I guess isn’t too bad since that plan originated 4 years ago.

Gavinmad said:

Start a new non-profit. With blackjack. and hookers.

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Don’t think I didn’t say that exact thing to my boss on my way out.

Gavinmad said:

I look forward to your post in 2030 about being pushed out of another successful multi-state charitable organization.

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Ideally I’ll be working for the government by then, sitting in my lofty position with 100 paid holidays.

Delly said:

I am on the tail end of the pre-employment process with the government and I already feel more respected and wanted than any non-profit has shown me ever. Hopefully it works out the same for you eventually.

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yeah, honestly the last year has really soured me on the nonprofit game. I hopefully won’t be going back to it.

So, a few weeks passed, and I didn't realize the toll my previous job took on me. After a few days, I really reflected back and not having the constant anxiety of my on-call phone ringing, working a 16-hour shift to sleep in my car for 4 hours so I could turn around and do it again and not see my wife for 2 or 3 days at a time because of it...I'll never go back to that. I took it all in stride, or so I thought but after being gone a week I was in my best spot mentally then I had been in in a long time.

I signed an offer for a new job today, I start in a few weeks. Really looking forward to it.

Synj said:

Congrats on the new job, but also wtf job were you doing? That sounds fucking mizz.

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I supervised two homeless shelters for at risk youth.

Gavinmad said:

At risk of being clotheslined if they don't follow the rules?

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No, that already happened. Now they are at risk of further injury.

Ridas said:

Dude, what the hell were you doing? I can only guess (I work in a similiar field), but you need to keep a professional distance to work/persons like that or you burn out real quick. And that's not helping anybody.

I might be way off here, but it just rings all my alarm bells as a professional in working with at risk people.

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between crisis on call two weeks to three weeks out of the month, staffing shortages and trainings for my staff it was that or we would have to close a shelter and that wasn’t an option.

Ridas said:

Hhmm, I can relate. We had a few months with shortage of staff aswell, where I reached my limit, but sounds like you went a bit beyond it. I didn't want to sound harsh, just concerned, because I know these situations.

Just take care of yourself. I know, that for me at least, all the bad habits from stronger depressed phases creep back in, when I am in a lot of stress at work and feeling responsible to keep everything open and going for at risk people is a difficult situation.

Anyway, good luck onward! I hope you keep doing well Fuck depression.

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Yeah, it had got pretty out of control. My boss always told me he was worried about my burnout but I just put my head down and powered through because what other option did I have? I wasn't getting help from him, I think the beginning of the end was when I did bring it up during one of my supervision meetings with him and he said "you think it's bad now you shoulda been here 6 months before you got here." I let him know that wasn't the flex he thought it was, and he didn't appreciate it.

I lived almost an hour away from the shelters, and our crisis on-call was supposed to rotate between 4 people, each taking a week. On-call only paid an extra $100 per 7 days you were on it, so I lost money when it came to paying for gas, more so when the 4-person rotation turned into me taking it 3 weeks and then two case managers sharing it for a week. I was sleeping in my car multiple times a week and my wife was convinced I was going to die falling asleep at the wheel. I built up almost 400 hours of PTO in 2022 due to the high workload.

During this time, we were supposed to have a staff of 13, I had between 6 and 7 depending on the month. So while covering call-ins and shifts we just didn't have coverage for, I was still doing my job of running both shelter's operations, which is hard to do when you're check-in on sleeping youth (eyes on) every 15 minutes while they are in their rooms because of state licensing guidelines.

I'll never work in public housing again and I doubt I'll ever work for a nonprofit again either unless it's one I get off the ground again at some point in the future. My new job starts in a week, its 40 hours a week Monday - Friday 9am-5pm and I supervise no one I still get to work with at-risk communities and populations. I'm really looking forward to it and mentally, I'm in a much better place than I've been in, in a long time. I didn't realize how much of a toll my job had taken on me and I'm glad to be done with it. I do miss the kids though, I hope they do well moving forward.