Depression

Cad · Jun 5, 2023

Tarrant said:
I’m still struggling, and I’ve had some pretty dark thoughts as a result. No self harm but as an example my wife asked me yesterday to give her an example of what filters in and out.

Me: I struggle knowing that my job as a father is to protect my kids, prepare them for the world and what it has to both offer and good and bad. I work and preparing them for life as an adult while showing them love and support. I’d do anything for all my kids and I’ll do anything for them and to keep them happy.

Her: Right…

Me: So knowing all of that, it destroys me to know at some point I’ll be one of the biggest sources of pain in their life when I die and it’ll be a trauma they will carry with them for years probably.

Her: …….well fuck

Now obviously death is apart of life and there’s dick you can do about it, I know this logically. But shit like that fucks with my head a lot. Or at least, has the last few months. I started talking to someone but it doesn’t help really.

Sounds like you are recognizing both sides of life. You can't have joy without misery to balance it. You can't have life without death. You can't have a meaningful relationship with someone without eventually experiencing the pain of losing that relationship or that person. ANY nice thing you have, whether it is relationship, money, or experience, you only have because you paid the price in misery to get it. You know this is true if you think about it and run through some examples.

This isn't actually a bad thing - and this doesn't mean you're going to see the negatives in everything now. Instead what it means is that you are recognizing that pain and misery are vital, intrinsic parts of any good experience. You have to accept the pain and misery along with the good aspects of anything, and that is part of living life with eyes fully open.

TheAdlerian · Jun 6, 2023

ToeMissile said:
I don't disagree w/ your initial point that AI (especially in it's current form/abilities) isn't a replacement for a human therapist and won't be anywhere close for a long time if ever. However, used as a tool to assist seems very much in the realm of near possibility.

That aside, you're being a dick.

I don't know what penises have to do with it.

I hate nerds, and so I am correcting nerds about how real life works.

I find it disgusting that they don't know and are delusional about technology and people.

Stop sticking up for retards.

Butthurt · Jun 6, 2023

TheAdlerian said:
I don't know what penises have to do with it.

I hate nerds, and so I am correcting nerds about how real life works.

I find it disgusting that they don't know and are delusional about technology and people.

Stop sticking up for retards.

May I help you, new person?

Edit: The discussion of AI appears to threaten you personally. I work in a field where, honestly, the AI might reduce a ton of the retardation, but I dont feel personally threatened by it. The people you have responded to have some hope that programming the DSMV into an AI might act as a diagnostic tool, rather than as a replacement for full on human centric psychotherapy. Instead of expounding on why you think that might be a good or bad idea, you have launched into ad hominems on any one who questions your position. Drop the “nerds are nerds” act and respond in good faith to the question. If not, i’ll thread ban you here, and welcome you wholeheartedly into the Thunderdome that is the Politics thread, where you can explain your successes and failure with gender ideology in great detail and with much fanfare.

Gavinmad · Jun 7, 2023

Tarrant said:
I’m still struggling, and I’ve had some pretty dark thoughts as a result. No self harm but as an example my wife asked me yesterday to give her an example of what filters in and out.

Me: I struggle knowing that my job as a father is to protect my kids, prepare them for the world and what it has to both offer and good and bad. I work and preparing them for life as an adult while showing them love and support. I’d do anything for all my kids and I’ll do anything for them and to keep them happy.

Her: Right…

Me: So knowing all of that, it destroys me to know at some point I’ll be one of the biggest sources of pain in their life when I die and it’ll be a trauma they will carry with them for years probably.

Her: …….well fuck

Now obviously death is apart of life and there’s dick you can do about it, I know this logically. But shit like that fucks with my head a lot. Or at least, has the last few months. I started talking to someone but it doesn’t help really.

Is it ironic that the better a job you've done as a parent, the easier a time your kids are likely to have with your death? The impression I've gotten over the years is that your children will mourn their fair share and then continue on with their lives. I'd wager their mother's death is far more likely to clotheslines their emotions down a flight of stairs.

TheAdlerian · Jun 7, 2023

Butthurt said:
May I help you, new person?

Edit: The discussion of AI appears to threaten you personally. I work in a field where, honestly, the AI might reduce a ton of the retardation, but I dont feel personally threatened by it. The people you have responded to have some hope that programming the DSMV into an AI might act as a diagnostic tool, rather than as a replacement for full on human centric psychotherapy. Instead of expounding on why you think that might be a good or bad idea, you have launched into ad hominems on any one who questions your position. Drop the “nerds are nerds” act and respond in good faith to the question. If not, i’ll thread ban you here, and welcome you wholeheartedly into the Thunderdome that is the Politics thread, where you can explain your successes and failure with gender ideology in great detail and with much fanfare.

The discussion is stupid and is being carried on by stupid people.

That's my issue, stupid people, not fantasy ideas about AI.

wormie · Jun 7, 2023

TheAdlerian said:
The discussion is stupid and is being carried on by stupid people.

That's my issue, stupid people, not fantasy ideas about AI.

This is not a thread for concern trolling. Nothing in the adult section of the forum is for trolling posts. Fuck off to the other places like the politics forum where we can properly shit on your stupid opinions.

Ishad · Jun 7, 2023

Tarrant said:
I’m still struggling, and I’ve had some pretty dark thoughts as a result. No self harm but as an example my wife asked me yesterday to give her an example of what filters in and out.

Me: I struggle knowing that my job as a father is to protect my kids, prepare them for the world and what it has to both offer and good and bad. I work and preparing them for life as an adult while showing them love and support. I’d do anything for all my kids and I’ll do anything for them and to keep them happy.

Her: Right…

Me: So knowing all of that, it destroys me to know at some point I’ll be one of the biggest sources of pain in their life when I die and it’ll be a trauma they will carry with them for years probably.

Her: …….well fuck

Now obviously death is apart of life and there’s dick you can do about it, I know this logically. But shit like that fucks with my head a lot. Or at least, has the last few months. I started talking to someone but it doesn’t help really.

Do you feel like most of the dark thoughts are about things that are out of your control?

Tarrant · Jun 10, 2023

Ishad said:
Do you feel like most of the dark thoughts are about things that are out of your control?

They are almost entirely focused on the past and the future, rarely things in the now. One could argue I can control what happens in the future by my actions today, so I would say its 50/50.

Logically I know if I cant control it, why bother worrying about it, why bother thinking about it, but that's unfortunately not how things work sometimes.

Ishad · Jun 10, 2023

Tarrant said:
They are almost entirely focused on the past and the future, rarely things in the now. One could argue I can control what happens in the future by my actions today, so I would say its 50/50.

Logically I know if I cant control it, why bother worrying about it, why bother thinking about it, but that's unfortunately not how things work sometimes.

Sure, those things are going to come up but you can control your perspective about them.

You are going to die and it is going to suck for your kids. Instead of focusing on the negative aspect that you have no control over you can take it and say “I should make even more of an effort to spend time with them while I’m still here”. “I can focus on taking better care of my health so I can spend as much time here with them as possible

It’s sucks that they’ll feel sad but the reason they’ll feel sad is you were a good father to them and they’ll miss you.

Negative thoughts are always going to creep in, but you’re still in control of how you process them.

Tarrant · Jun 12, 2023

I think that’s the issue with depression in general, the inability to process them properly and just being overwhelmed by them to the point where bad things happen or just continue to run through your head.

pharmakos · Jul 13, 2023

Recently started Wellbutrin (bupropion) Any of you guys on it? Thoughts?

My diagnosis is Bipolar 2 but 95% of the time I'm either stable or depressed, rarely am manic, and am rational enough of a person that mania doesn't really affect me in the stereotypical way.

Trying Wellbutrin as my primary medicine, not as an adjunct -- I'm not taking a mood stabilizer nor any other antidepressants besides Wellbutrin.

My only other medication at the moment is Vistaril (hydroxyzine), indicated "as needed" for acute anxiety / agitation. It's also really helps me a lot with with my PTSD nightmares.

Lumi · Jul 13, 2023

pharmakos said:
Recently started Wellbutrin (bupropion) Any of you guys on it? Thoughts?

My diagnosis is Bipolar 2 but 95% of the time I'm either stable or depressed, rarely am manic, and am rational enough of a person that mania doesn't really affect me in the stereotypical way.

Trying Wellbutrin as my primary medicine, not as an adjunct -- I'm not taking a mood stabilizer nor any other antidepressants besides Wellbutrin.

My only other medication at the moment is Vistaril (hydroxyzine), indicated "as needed" for acute anxiety / agitation. It's also really helps me a lot with with my PTSD nightmares.

"Bupropion may cause some people to be agitated, irritable, or display other abnormal behaviors. It may also cause some people to have suicidal thoughts and tendencies, or to become more depressed."

Seems like some real good shit that you should definitely be taking.

Cad · Jul 13, 2023

pharmakos said:
Recently started Wellbutrin (bupropion) Any of you guys on it? Thoughts?

My diagnosis is Bipolar 2 but 95% of the time I'm either stable or depressed, rarely am manic, and am rational enough of a person that mania doesn't really affect me in the stereotypical way.

Trying Wellbutrin as my primary medicine, not as an adjunct -- I'm not taking a mood stabilizer nor any other antidepressants besides Wellbutrin.

My only other medication at the moment is Vistaril (hydroxyzine), indicated "as needed" for acute anxiety / agitation. It's also really helps me a lot with with my PTSD nightmares.

The people I know who have taken it say it acts a lot more like a stimulant. You'll have more energy, more pep in your step, etc. Less side effects than SSRI's. Worth a try to see if it helps you.

pharmakos · Jul 13, 2023

Lumi said:
"Bupropion may cause some people to be agitated, irritable, or display other abnormal behaviors. It may also cause some people to have suicidal thoughts and tendencies, or to become more depressed."

Seems like some real good shit that you should definitely be taking.

Yeah but you could replace "bupropion" with "Fires of Heaven" in that paragraph and it would still be accurate

and yet here we are

pharmakos · Jul 13, 2023

Cad said:
The people I know who have taken it say it acts a lot more like a stimulant. You'll have more energy, more pep in your step, etc. Less side effects than SSRI's. Worth a try to see if it helps you.

I've also still got some pretty severe chronic fatigue issues ever since chemo. Hopefully the pep helps with that.

ToeMissile · Sep 7, 2023

Not much action in this thread lately, hopefully that's a good sign.

Either way, haven't listened to this episode yet, but I expect this to be excellent as the majority of Huberman Labs eps are

lurkingdirk · Sep 8, 2023

Chemo making it so I shouldn't go out in public much, killing my strength and appetite. I feel like shite all the time. Definite depression creeping in. I think if I let myself I could stay in bed all damned day.

But there is an end in sight, so I try to focus on that.

Izo · Sep 8, 2023

lurkingdirk said:
Chemo making it so I shouldn't go out in public much, killing my strength and appetite. I feel like shite all the time. Definite depression creeping in. I think if I let myself I could stay in bed all damned day.

But there is an end in sight, so I try to focus on that.

Are you at least getting high, dork? Fuck cancer with a rake.

lurkingdirk · Sep 8, 2023

Izo said:
Are you at least getting high, dork? Fuck cancer with a rake.

Haven't been, but considering it.

moonarchia · Sep 9, 2023

lurkingdirk said:
Chemo making it so I shouldn't go out in public much, killing my strength and appetite. I feel like shite all the time. Definite depression creeping in. I think if I let myself I could stay in bed all damned day.

But there is an end in sight, so I try to focus on that.

Force yourself to at least stretch while you are in the middle of all this. Otherwise take heart that it's also an effective diet.

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Depression

Cad

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TheAdlerian

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