Depression

Synj

Synj

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TheBeagle said:
That's great advice, I appreciate it.

Now that it's been a few days I can start to feel the burning desire to take action wearing off. It's a pattern that I've repeated over the years. It's not like I'm thinking about drinking but I do start thinking I can just power through it on my own. But every other time I've white knuckled this shit it always ends badly. This time though I have a constant reminder - I can't even sleep lying flat right now because my ribs are so busted up, and my beautiful truck is no longer parked in my driveway.
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One thing that I’ve always had to remind myself is to allow guilt and refute shame.

Guilt allows us to say things like: “I did a bad thing, and I don’t want to do that again.”

Shame teaches us: “I am a bad/broken person, what is wrong with me? How could I have done this? I’ll never be able to live this down.”

Guilt teaches us and allows us to grow, shame locks us in place and leads us to numb through alcohol and other unhealthy behaviors.

I think people have to reject the idea that they’re broken and replace it with this behavior needs to be reworked or a new skill needs to be learned to cope with life’s challenges.
 
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Cad

Cad

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Synj said:
One thing that I’ve always had to remind myself is to allow guilt and refute shame.

Guilt allows us to say things like: “I did a bad thing, and I don’t want to do that again.”

Shame teaches us: “I am a bad/broken person, what is wrong with me? How could I have done this? I’ll never be able to live this down.”

Guilt teaches us and allows us to grow, shame locks us in place and leads us to numb through alcohol and other unhealthy behaviors.

I think people have to reject the idea that they’re broken and replace it with this behavior needs to be reworked or a new skill needs to be learned to cope with life’s challenges.
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Reverse DNS Practice for Mail Server - Community Support - Hestia Control Panel - Discourse
 
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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Suffering guys. No reason. Just depressed. And super high anxiety. I have no reason to feel these things. It feels idiotic to me that I'm feeling this, and that just gets me more down. This shit is fucking awful.

My kids are all doing really well. My wife is thriving in her job and at home. I've got as much work as I want, but no need to take anything on if I don't want to. Yet here I am. Depressed and anxious. I usually have all my shit together, but I'm struggling just now.

Anyone who doesn't struggle with this does not have any idea what it's like. It's impossible to explain, because it's not at all logical.
 
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Oblio

Oblio

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lurkingdirk said:
Suffering guys. No reason. Just depressed. And super high anxiety. I have no reason to feel these things. It feels idiotic to me that I'm feeling this, and that just gets me more down. This shit is fucking awful.

My kids are all doing really well. My wife is thriving in her job and at home. I've got as much work as I want, but no need to take anything on if I don't want to. Yet here I am. Depressed and anxious. I usually have all my shit together, but I'm struggling just now.

Anyone who doesn't struggle with this does not have any idea what it's like. It's impossible to explain, because it's not at all logical.
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Have you ever been checked for Hyperparathyroidism? If not, worth checking it out.
 
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Gavinmad

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lurkingdirk said:
Suffering guys. No reason. Just depressed. And super high anxiety. I have no reason to feel these things. It feels idiotic to me that I'm feeling this, and that just gets me more down. This shit is fucking awful.

My kids are all doing really well. My wife is thriving in her job and at home. I've got as much work as I want, but no need to take anything on if I don't want to. Yet here I am. Depressed and anxious. I usually have all my shit together, but I'm struggling just now.

Anyone who doesn't struggle with this does not have any idea what it's like. It's impossible to explain, because it's not at all logical.
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Either go browse your nearest Mid-Life Chrysler dealer or sign up for some skydiving lessons.
 
Foler

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lurkingdirk said:
Suffering guys. No reason. Just depressed. And super high anxiety. I have no reason to feel these things. It feels idiotic to me that I'm feeling this, and that just gets me more down. This shit is fucking awful.

My kids are all doing really well. My wife is thriving in her job and at home. I've got as much work as I want, but no need to take anything on if I don't want to. Yet here I am. Depressed and anxious. I usually have all my shit together, but I'm struggling just now.

Anyone who doesn't struggle with this does not have any idea what it's like. It's impossible to explain, because it's not at all logical.
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Yeah on the last paragraph..

Is it out of nowhere? Potentially health related? Have you considered a counselor, maybe CBT? The phrasing “it feels idiotic to me that I’m feeling this way” makes me think you could be too hard on yourself but that’s something you’d know best or a counselor can observe with trends. I can’t off that one statement.

Highly recommend a good counselor. You’ll have to hunt hard but it’s worth it. I would run my own quasi-background checks on them (find their twitter, online presence etc) in order to find someone who may align with you best.
 
Foler

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lurkingdirk said:
I have. It's not that. Brain deficiencies and all that.
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Then I read this. Again that’s pretty negative talk about yourself. See a counselor and talk it out. Observe how you think and take notes.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Foler said:
Then I read this. Again that’s pretty negative talk about yourself. See a counselor and talk it out. Observe how you think and take notes.
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I have an excellent counselor. This is not anything but a chemical thing. Don't shit on me because problems.
 
Foler

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lurkingdirk said:
I have an excellent counselor. This is not anything but a chemical thing. Don't shit on me because problems.
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I wasn’t trying to shit on you dude. I was genuinely trying to encourage you and give some options as I was not aware you had a counselor and I thought you referring to yourself as having “brain deficiencies” was just self deprecation, not you meaning there was some chemical imbalance.. Sorry, I’ll see myself out.
 
Cad

Cad

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lurkingdirk said:
I have an excellent counselor. This is not anything but a chemical thing. Don't shit on me because problems.
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On the one hand I'd be cautious about listening to the medical industry about the causes of depression - they don't have a fucking clue.

On the other hand counseling is great and is a possible source of help. Be wary of them juicing you up on SSRI's.

Your paragraph about how there's no rational reason for it is spot on and there's no sense in us sitting here going "you're going to be okay man, don't worry!" etc. We only know about you what you choose to share so our platitudes don't really mean much. But that said, I for one genuinely hope the sun shines on ya tomorrow and the fog clears and you wake up happydirk.

My advice would be do things that naturally elevate your mood: lots of skin to skin with your wife (not really meaning sex here, just physical affection), get lots of exercise, get some sun (I'm a 100% stay out of the sun guy but a little vitamin D is a big thing), pet a dog/cat, do something nice for your kids and watch their smile. These are all the type of things that boost serotonin naturally and will elevate your mood. I'm assuming you've tried all this type of stuff, but keep it up anyway because I really think the effects are cumulative.

Keep your chin up dog.
 
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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Cad said:
On the one hand I'd be cautious about listening to the medical industry about the causes of depression - they don't have a fucking clue.

On the other hand counseling is great and is a possible source of help. Be wary of them juicing you up on SSRI's.

Your paragraph about how there's no rational reason for it is spot on and there's no sense in us sitting here going "you're going to be okay man, don't worry!" etc. We only know about you what you choose to share so our platitudes don't really mean much. But that said, I for one genuinely hope the sun shines on ya tomorrow and the fog clears and you wake up happydirk.

My advice would be do things that naturally elevate your mood: lots of skin to skin with your wife (not really meaning sex here, just physical affection), get lots of exercise, get some sun (I'm a 100% stay out of the sun guy but a little vitamin D is a big thing), pet a dog/cat, do something nice for your kids and watch their smile. These are all the type of things that boost serotonin naturally and will elevate your mood. I'm assuming you've tried all this type of stuff, but keep it up anyway because I really think the effects are cumulative.

Keep your chin up dog.
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You are so spot on. Spent time on the couch with my wife. Cleaned chicken coop. Did a lot of physical things. I appreciate your post.
 
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Ishad

Ishad

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Glad you are coming out of it. As it’s still recent it’s also a good idea to identify the stressors that sent you spiraling
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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lurkingdirk said:
Suffering guys. No reason. Just depressed. And super high anxiety. I have no reason to feel these things. It feels idiotic to me that I'm feeling this, and that just gets me more down. This shit is fucking awful.

My kids are all doing really well. My wife is thriving in her job and at home. I've got as much work as I want, but no need to take anything on if I don't want to. Yet here I am. Depressed and anxious. I usually have all my shit together, but I'm struggling just now.

Anyone who doesn't struggle with this does not have any idea what it's like. It's impossible to explain, because it's not at all logical.
Click to expand...
You feel what you feel. If you want to get an idea as to why, or want to change the way your mind works, this is the best place to start:

www.health.harvard.edu

Breath meditation: A great way to relieve stress - Harvard Health

Mindfulness-based meditation helps to control stress and preserve health. It combines rhythmic breathing and focused attention. It is a form of entry-level meditation that anyone can do. It brings ...
www.health.harvard.edu www.health.harvard.edu

Breathing meditation is incredibly simple, and has pretty much unlimited potential for you to take the reins on how you feel day to day.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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moonarchia said:
You feel what you feel. If you want to get an idea as to why, or want to change the way your mind works, this is the best place to start:

www.health.harvard.edu

Breath meditation: A great way to relieve stress - Harvard Health

Mindfulness-based meditation helps to control stress and preserve health. It combines rhythmic breathing and focused attention. It is a form of entry-level meditation that anyone can do. It brings ...
www.health.harvard.edu www.health.harvard.edu

Breathing meditation is incredibly simple, and has pretty much unlimited potential for you to take the reins on how you feel day to day.
Click to expand...

Yup. breathing is where I always start.
 
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