Depression

Koushirou said:

probably throw up more fucking red flags than tulips on a Dutch farm.

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And yet, somewhere there's an eq nerd reading this screaming "I can fix her!"

Koushirou said:

I like how people attribute the lack of my DMs blowing up when my marriage ended to board atrophy or increased maturity or whatever, when I'm pretty sure it's just because I'm just that fucked up and worthless.

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tbf, many/most of us are married, and also blowing up your dm's via this particular thread might seem a bit distasteful. If that's what your after, some subtle "recruitment" posts in screenshots and the mmo forum might do the trick.

Koushirou said:

It's not that I want it, but sad to say it still feels bad when you hear about damn near every female on the internet having the problem of creepers or weirdos, etc. and I'm over here and it's completely crickets having never had this issue ever. Like, what the fuck is so wrong with me that not even the desperate fuckers will touch me.

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We may be degenerates, but we're degenerates who aren't in your neighborhood. And like Control said many of us are married. You are also one of us, and we're not going to kick you when you're down. If you want that kind of attention then hit up Reddit. Post that you are getting divorced on AITA or some divorce sub and you will have creeps from around the world up in your DMs.

There's nothing wrong with you, but you're depressed, so you are preventing yourself from understanding that. That's also why you are overreacting to the stuff with your EQ group. Have you gotten the divorce paperwork in? Have you gotten started on your job search? One way of getting out of a funk is to just focus on the positive actions you can do. Start making your backup plans. You may want to take your parents up on their offer for a while now instead of later. Get your house listed and assets split between you and your ex. That would put you in a stable environment, and would be uncomfortable enough to give you a push to get a job so you could move out again.

Or you might find it comfortable, and you can build deeper bonds with mom and dad while you still have them. No wrong answers there.

Koushirou said:

It's not that I want it, but sad to say it still feels bad when you hear about damn near every female on the internet having the problem of creepers or weirdos, etc. and I'm over here and it's completely crickets having never had this issue ever. Like, what the fuck is so wrong with me that not even the desperate fuckers will touch me.

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Even those of us that aren't married are old enough to not do the "hey bb u wan som fuk" thing.

What's "wrong" is, for lack of a better term, logistics.

You want a new relationship where the guy is interested in you for reasons beyond some wet holes. Any guy looking for a relationship is just not going to invest any time in a woman that's still married and living with the soon-to-be ex. Anyone in that position is likely not emotionally in the right place for a new relationship, maybe the ex is some crazy MFer that's going to come after you with a gun. Maybe you have a change of heart and want to try again with the ex. Young dudes desperate for any sex at all ignore those issues but we do wise up a little with age. Too many things to go wrong, look elsewhere.

This is why all the guys here are telling you to get those deal breakers sorted. Decent guys looking for a relationship are just not going to invest emotionally before that. Finalize paperwork, move out, find your footing again and guys will be more interested.

Once that's done, you can come live in my attic and play EQ all day and I can get a green card. See, there's more worth to you already.