Depression

Seananigans · 2025-08-31T17:01:46-0400

Koushirou said:
I thought I'd start feeling better now that the husband got his own place and is already moving his stuff out, aside from being sad about losing my cat, Bruce. He'll be done everything next weekend when his family comes down and moves the last of his big furniture. As much as he doesn't get along with his family, they've still been sending him cards every week, care packages, and now plenty of furnishings for his new place. Meanwhile, it's still been mostly silence from my family; a few minutes on the phone with my parents on occasion, sometimes my brother might respond to a text, etc. My friends have been getting more and more distant and I'm guessing at this point they're just tired of me being around, which has happened with pretty much every friend group I've had in my life. The most support I seem to get from anyone is just enough empty platitudes to get me to shut up and stop bothering them for a while. I feel completely alone and just don't think anyone really cares about me. I don't feel like I'm getting a fresh start at all, just being left alone with the broken remnants of everything. I guess I'm not really even sure what I want or expect from family and friends with this. Not like they can do anything about it all. And hey, this was what I asked for, isn't it? What did I think was going to happen? He'll be gone and I'll be free; free to do what though, I don't know. Just grow old together with my remaining cats, I guess. I can't even look at Bruce now without breaking down in tears knowing I'll never see him again. I'm pretty much already the stereotypical cat woman. I'll be just like that one tiktok lady crying about having to bake her own 50th birthday cake. And I'll have no one to blame but myself since I'm just too weak and pathetic to do any better for myself. He caught me crying in my office again and even he tries to give me all these motivational speeches and shit. He's still taking this whole thing so much better than I am.

You say you think your friends just “give you empty platitudes so you’ll go away.”

What do you want your friends to do/give you?

Khane · 2025-08-31T18:00:39-0400

She doesn't have friends, which is a harsh reality but, it's kind of obvious at this point she doesn't actually know what real friendship feels like. The way she speaks, to me, tells me that interpersonal relationships of any flavor are sort of a foreign concept to her. Which is fine, that can be changed, if she's aware and wants to change it. That's kind of what the therapy is hopefully doing for her.

Some of the dipshits here are giving her terrible advice and information.

This is a pretty gigantic transition period for you Koushirou and it's either an opportunity or a death knell. Try to go to your therapy sessions with 2 goals, "I'm sad, I'm upset and I want to talk about that, but I also want you to help me become actually, really, open to social situations and meeting new people without any preconceived notions. Help me live in the moment and become comfortable with myself."

Sanrith Descartes · 2025-08-31T23:37:20-0400

Khane said:
Help me live in the moment and become comfortable with myself."

This is probably the best advice someone can give. So many people enter relationships before they are truly comfortable just being themselves. This should really be the only goal. It's the foundation that life is built on.

tugofpeace · 2025-08-31T23:46:43-0400

Punko said:
a minor ketamine binge 2x a year keeps me clear from any kind of depression

beats taking meds when it comes to health, so I'll just roll with it

Is ketamine typically used for depression?

A good friend of mine takes it pretty routinely. He seems happy but he's on an assortment of steroids and compounds..

Koushirou · 2025-08-31T23:55:33-0400

Seananigans said:
You say you think your friends just “give you empty platitudes so you’ll go away.”

What do you want your friends to do/give you?

I even mentioned I'm not really sure what I want. Just someone checking in on me on occasion without me having to prompt first, I guess? Like, it's no secret to them that I'm struggling and feeling shitty. Would at least hope my family would be capable of doing that. And yeah, Khane's basically right, all my friends are just people I talk to online and have just sort of accumulated over the years. I haven't had friends in person since elementary school; one of the reasons I feel like something's just wrong with me. I tried getting out and around in college and joining clubs, etc. but still wasn't able to make any. Didn't really make any beyond regular acquaintances when I'd go to the game store to play magic. I seem to do fine making friends online. I've just always assumed it's my looks since that's the biggest difference I can think of between the online and the real. Honestly, I don't find myself having any desire to try and get out more and the idea of it just scares me at this point; I've been burned far too many times and I don't think I can handle it anymore.

Gavinmad · 2025-09-01T00:14:51-0400

Koushirou said:
but I guess it's also used as a mild anti-depressant? I really didn't want to get on any anti-depressants again and especially don't want to be on anything I might get stuck on

Not only is the anti-depressant effect mild but the insomnia dosage is also substantially lower than the dosage for anti-depression. You aren't going to get stuck on trazodone.

Koushirou · 2025-09-01T00:30:04-0400

Gavinmad said:
Not only is the anti-depressant effect mild but the insomnia dosage is also substantially lower than the dosage for anti-depression. You aren't going to get stuck on trazodone.

Unfortunately so far, it's done jack and shit for either issue so probably just going to get off of it after the month of trying it.

moonarchia · 2025-09-01T01:54:17-0400

Sanrith Descartes said:
This is probably the best advice someone can give. So many people enter relationships before they are truly comfortable just being themselves. This should really be the only goal. It's the foundation that life is built on.

Yup. That's why I keep suggesting meditation. That is one of the direct results you will get once you get the hang of emptying your mind/self. That state allows you to see all your thoughts, feelings, anxieties, etc and track them back to their source. You can channel them to other things or just cut them out altogether.

Koushirou this will also help you figure out what you want. And why you want it.

Gavinmad · 2025-09-01T02:21:33-0400

Koushirou said:
Unfortunately so far, it's done jack and shit for either issue so probably just going to get off of it after the month of trying it.

well it's certainly no Ambien but it used to help me in the past. This is all shit your doctor probably told you already but try to keep a regular bed time, turn the devices off an hour before bed, and try to be more active during the day (which is a solution for a lot of things).

Now if you'll excuse me I'm about to go follow none of the advice I just gave you and sleep like absolute shit.

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Depression

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