Seananigans
Honorary Shit-PhD
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You say you think your friends just “give you empty platitudes so you’ll go away.”
What do you want your friends to do/give you?
Depression
- Thread starter Tarrant
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You say you think your friends just “give you empty platitudes so you’ll go away.”
What do you want your friends to do/give you?
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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She doesn't have friends, which is a harsh reality but, it's kind of obvious at this point she doesn't actually know what real friendship feels like. The way she speaks, to me, tells me that interpersonal relationships of any flavor are sort of a foreign concept to her. Which is fine, that can be changed, if she's aware and wants to change it. That's kind of what the therapy is hopefully doing for her.
Some of the dipshits here are giving her terrible advice and information.
This is a pretty gigantic transition period for you Koushirou and it's either an opportunity or a death knell. Try to go to your therapy sessions with 2 goals, "I'm sad, I'm upset and I want to talk about that, but I also want you to help me become actually, really, open to social situations and meeting new people without any preconceived notions. Help me live in the moment and become comfortable with myself."
Some of the dipshits here are giving her terrible advice and information.
This is a pretty gigantic transition period for you Koushirou and it's either an opportunity or a death knell. Try to go to your therapy sessions with 2 goals, "I'm sad, I'm upset and I want to talk about that, but I also want you to help me become actually, really, open to social situations and meeting new people without any preconceived notions. Help me live in the moment and become comfortable with myself."
Sanrith Descartes
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This is probably the best advice someone can give. So many people enter relationships before they are truly comfortable just being themselves. This should really be the only goal. It's the foundation that life is built on.
tugofpeace
Log Wizard
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Is ketamine typically used for depression?
A good friend of mine takes it pretty routinely. He seems happy but he's on an assortment of steroids and compounds..
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I even mentioned I'm not really sure what I want. Just someone checking in on me on occasion without me having to prompt first, I guess? Like, it's no secret to them that I'm struggling and feeling shitty. Would at least hope my family would be capable of doing that. And yeah, Khane's basically right, all my friends are just people I talk to online and have just sort of accumulated over the years. I haven't had friends in person since elementary school; one of the reasons I feel like something's just wrong with me. I tried getting out and around in college and joining clubs, etc. but still wasn't able to make any. Didn't really make any beyond regular acquaintances when I'd go to the game store to play magic. I seem to do fine making friends online. I've just always assumed it's my looks since that's the biggest difference I can think of between the online and the real. Honestly, I don't find myself having any desire to try and get out more and the idea of it just scares me at this point; I've been burned far too many times and I don't think I can handle it anymore.
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Not only is the anti-depressant effect mild but the insomnia dosage is also substantially lower than the dosage for anti-depression. You aren't going to get stuck on trazodone.
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Unfortunately so far, it's done jack and shit for either issue so probably just going to get off of it after the month of trying it.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Yup. That's why I keep suggesting meditation. That is one of the direct results you will get once you get the hang of emptying your mind/self. That state allows you to see all your thoughts, feelings, anxieties, etc and track them back to their source. You can channel them to other things or just cut them out altogether.
Koushirou
this will also help you figure out what you want. And why you want it.- 1
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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well it's certainly no Ambien but it used to help me in the past. This is all shit your doctor probably told you already but try to keep a regular bed time, turn the devices off an hour before bed, and try to be more active during the day (which is a solution for a lot of things).
Now if you'll excuse me I'm about to go follow none of the advice I just gave you and sleep like absolute shit.
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Punko
Macho Ma'am
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I don't think so, that & LSD just do their thing for me.
Doing a lot of ketamine is going to fuck up your kidneys and bladder afaik, but I suspect that is the least of his problems right now.
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Punko
Macho Ma'am
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Quitting trazodone is 10x heavier on the mind then quitting weed.
Don't start with that shit. Really, don't.
Punko
Macho Ma'am
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Yup. That's why I keep suggesting meditation. That is one of the direct results you will get once you get the hang of emptying your mind/self. That state allows you to see all your thoughts, feelings, anxieties, etc and track them back to their source. You can channel them to other things or just cut them out altogether.
Smoking is a breathing exercise, I think its an undiscovered aspect of what makes so addictive.
Daidraco
Avatar of War Slayer
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There are more and more people that are and have grown up this way. I spent more time playing EverQuest and WoW as a kid, all the way up into my late 20's (and a couple stints in my 30's) than I did doing anything else. So where do you think most of my friends are? Do you think Im better at making friends online, or out and about in the "real world"? Never mind the literal fact that its easier to make friends online, doing the things you like to do (like playing multiplayer games) with people that are... like-minded and find multiplayer gaming just as entertaining.
I refuse to comment on your relationship goals, much less depression, because Im still dating around and they arent even in my same age group.
But I do firmly believe that society had its biggest impact on those of us that grew up when games like EQ and WoW were popular - Where those of us that played those games were labeled things like basement dweller, hermit, etc. Not necessarily a "bad" person, but someone that is ill adjusted to life. Society made us not only look down on ourselves, but also judge a partner as unworthy when they have those traits as well. I mean, the first thing I used think about when I heard about someone playing WoW used to be Cartman from Southpark, with all the pimples asking mom for pizza rolls or w/e. I know "I" dont look like that, but that was my opinion of people that played WoW. What kind of fucked up shit is that, right? The people that I would most likely get along with in real life, I had a terrible opinion of. What? why? (Yes yes, I know.. a WoW player now means a blue haired troon or w/e other current joke of the day is.)
So .. in a way, yea - I think what the others are saying is correct. You have to find yourself first, before you can "fix" whatever it is you think you need to fix. One small piece of advice I can give you though is.. dont always look "inward" when someone you're interested in isnt "into" you. I fell head over heels for this girl last year and .. I thought I pushed her away by <insert any number of anxiety related doubts here> ... and instead, even in her profession as someone thats very social with clients, that she has extreme cases of anxiety with people she likes. She told me this in a facebook message, out of the blue.. because I hadnt talked or seen her in several months. Again - its not always us.. thats fucked up in the head. But that doesnt mean to hang on their every thread. Focus on yourself, and you'll attract what you want to attract.
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Sanrith Descartes
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For anyone interested, this book hits the point on this. While its focus is political, it hits home on the changes in our society. In fact, I think they made a documentary about it. This book was required reading in grad school.
Tldr: As society has moved away from regular in person social contact (bowling leagues, PTA, various lodges etc), it has really fucked people over.
Bowling Alone: Revised and Updated: The Collapse and Revival of American Community: Putnam, Robert D.: 9781982130848: Amazon.com: Books
Bowling Alone: Revised and Updated: The Collapse and Revival of American Community [Putnam, Robert D.] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Bowling Alone: Revised and Updated: The Collapse and Revival of American Community
www.amazon.com
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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I tell my kids that online friends aren't real friends.
I firmly believe that. I don't have anyone that I met online that I still talk to. Real friends are the friends you can hang out and do stuff with. Playing video games is not doing stuff. You don't get the same bond. You think you do - it's simulating a real friendship, but it's not. It's not even close.
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Daidraco
Avatar of War Slayer
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In a way, I feel you're correct. I'm likely never going to go out on the boat with anyone Ive met online and form a real life, interpersonal experience. But
BoozeCube
and I have revolved around the same circles since early EverQuest - Fennin Ro. I or him can generally link up in a game and immediately talk shit about how bad someone is in games. You know what else I do when I meet up with my Highschool buddy in real life for a beer? We talk shit about people. 
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Fennin Ro - We knew drama.In a way, I feel you're correct. I'm likely never going to go out on the boat with anyone Ive met online and form a real life, interpersonal experience. But
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Actually went out on a boat with some of my guildies from Fennin for a day or so. Was a great day. Best times of my life have been meeting folks IRL for Blizzcons or PAX or other conventions and get-togethers. I'll always take the opportunity to meet up with an online friend if the circumstances allow it.In a way, I feel you're correct. I'm likely never going to go out on the boat with anyone Ive met online and form a real life, interpersonal experience. But
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