Eternals (2021)

Valderen

Valderen

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The trailers for this did nothing for me, I was never excited or curious about this. I was always indifferent at best.

So I finally watched it on Disney+, it wasn’t as bad as I expected but it wasn’t really that good either. I think my biggest issue is indifference, the story wasn’t interesting, it’s like if the MCU started with the Infinity War without any build up, without us knowing any of the characters and then the stakes are so high but you don’t care about anyone. That’s how the movie felt to me.

There we’re some interesting concepts but I think the scope was just too big for a single movie, as someone mentioned it would have worked better as a mini-series with more time with the characters and getting to know them before introducing the end of the world story with people you don’t care about, the stakes might have been more exciting.

Most of the characters were very bland and I didn’t care about the fate of any of them really which is unusual for a MCU movie as they have done such a great job of making you care about its heroes.

All in all, below average movie…I think it went too big, tried to incorporate too many concepts, too many characters, and nothing was developed enough. Not awful but not great. I’m not particularly interested in what happens to any of these characters even though in ends on a cliffhanger. I mean that says a lot, you end the movie on a cliffhanger and I don’t care about what happens.
 
Qhue

Qhue

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I'm very forgiving of genre stuff, but I'm 30 mins in and kinda bored.

I suppose we are meant to wonder why they went from babysitting Babylon to being completely hands-off by modern times, but I have negative interest in the Cersei / Jon Snow / Ikaris love triangle.
 
Maul

Maul

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Didnt even feel like a marvel film, was bored half way in.
 
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Void

Void

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This movie was bad, obviously. Since they announced it, I've been complaining about casting Angelina Jolie, as I generally dislike her and felt too much focus would be on a big star like her. Surprisingly, she was one of the people I disliked the least. Not saying she was good by any means, but I actually hated her less than most of the cast. And there was a lot for me to hate.

I don't hate Gemma Chan in general (loved her in Humans) and she was ok here, but just super-boring and mostly ineffective.

Sadly, the person I liked most might have been the human videographer guy.

Celestial design was terrible, in my opinion. Looked like shitty Michael Bay transformers to me, not the Kirby-esque goliaths I wanted. But whatever.

Another point of rustling for me. They kept saying shit like 7000 years, 5000 years, etc. They defeated the deviants 5000 years ago...but the flashback said 500 BC I think? That's not 5000 years ago. Sersi and Ikaris "dated" for 5000 years when boyfriend asks about it, yet their marriage was in AD I'm pretty sure. Like, the dialogue was all consistent within itself, but no one told the flashback people to put different dates on the scenes I think...excluding the fact that the flashback dates actually make sense, and it is far more likely the writer just didn't care if any of it is remotely accurate and just used those numbers because they sounded good.

Also, was this entire movie shot in the dark?? WTF?

Mid- and post-credits spoiler talk:
Of course I recognized Pip immediately, which makes me super-fucking excited for potential Adam Warlock. And with the musical choice for the outro of that scene, I have to assume that means we'll see more of Pip and Eros in GotG3. Pretty fucking annoyed that I immediately recognized Patton Oswalt's voice though. That will ruin Pip for me in no time.

For the Black Knight, I'm sure I could find it, but can anyone quickly tell me whose voice spoke at the end? It sounded familiar, but not enough for me to actually make a guess.
 
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Runnen

Runnen

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Void said:
For the Black Knight, I'm sure I could find it, but can anyone quickly tell me whose voice spoke at the end? It sounded familiar, but not enough for me to actually make a guess.
Click to expand...

Mahershala Ali as Blade.
 
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Void

Void

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Runnen said:
Mahershala Ali as Blade.
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Jesus, ok, didn't expect that one at all. Doesn't really make a lot of sense unless you use some convoluted logic around both characters and what they become or fight against, but ok.

Thanks!
 
Randin

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Valderen said:
There we’re some interesting concepts but I think the scope was just too big for a single movie, as someone mentioned it would have worked better as a mini-series with more time with the characters and getting to know them before introducing the end of the world story with people you don’t care about, the stakes might have been more exciting.
Click to expand...
I'm inclined to say that if it had been split into a Disney+ series dealing with the whole 'Eternals throughout history thing' (episode one is Stone Age, episode two Babylon, etc.), followed up with the movie dealing with the modern day story, it would have worked a lot better. But yeah, too much going on for it to work condensed into just one movie.
 
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Qhue

Qhue

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Okay by the end there was a genuine epic story there which could move the MCU forward, but good lord there was waaaay too much before reaching that point.

I concur with the D+ preamble followed by motion picture idea. Could have fleshed things out more while also allowing the core narrative of the Tiamut business to be more concise.

Could and should have dwelt more on the Thanos snap changing the status quo.

If they do a sequel then I suspect that could be a much stronger film.
 
Mahes

Mahes

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I enjoyed this when it finally got going. I am going to just remove all science from this and just say " Holy Shit a big ass Colossus Giant just ripped itself from the center of the earth". The Earth would be fine.....

The fights were pretty interesting at the end. I loved just how powerful Super-Man was. I like how they parallel Super-man's ability to beat the Flash, when in honesty, nobody would be able to beat the Flash unless an Area effect ability were used. The Tinker was neat. I loved how he dealt with power.

It was slow at the start but as others pointed out, this could have been a lot longer. The acting was off. It felt like a school play with awesome effects. Sprite was the worst offender.

It was not bad but it also was not good.
 
Kiki

Kiki

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I like how kumail just fucked off at the end there and did fuck all. As soon as I realized he was only megaman and we were just going to have a bunch of shitty powers I knew this was gonna suck. Why did he even bother roiding out? Superman was dumb, kill your mentor, suicide into the sun, more powerful than his entire family combined. Flash was meh. And then batman just builds megaman arms, what's the point of kumail then anyway? Superman fighting was cool, but that's my only plus here besides maybe jon snow. As always, this shit is just a setup for something that might actually be cool, but who fucking knows.
 
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rhinohelix

rhinohelix

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Thanks Marvel. You had a good run, ending with Endgame. Now you make shitty woke D+ series and movies for yourselves and save the good stuff for Sony.
 
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Mahes

Mahes

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rhinohelix said:
Thanks Marvel. You had a good run, ending with Endgame. Now you make shitty woke D+ series and movies for yourselves and save the good stuff for Sony.
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While I agree that most have kind of gone down hill, I would heavily argue that No Way Home was a contender as one of the best Marvel movies made.
 
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Fadaar

Fadaar

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Mahes said:
While I agree that most have kind of gone down hill, I would heavily argue that No Way Home was a contender as one of the best Marvel movies made.
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but how much input did Disney/Marvel actually have for that one?
 
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Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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Mahes said:
While I agree that most have kind of gone down hill, I would heavily argue that No Way Home was a contender as one of the best Marvel movies made.
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a good Marvel movie made by Sony, Marvel doesnt make these kinds of films anymore. what would be the odds of a new Marvel movie with 4 straight white male hero leads?
 
spronk

spronk

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Chukzombi said:
a good Marvel movie made by Sony, Marvel doesnt make these kinds of films anymore. what would be the odds of a new Marvel movie with 4 straight white male hero leads?
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Marvel actually created, produced, wrote, etc all the Spider-man MCU movies. Sony just bankrolled it and keeps most of the money. The tradeoff deal is that Marvel gets to use Holland/Spidey in their other movies.

Sony themselves wrote/everything the Venom, Carnage, Mobius, etc movies without any input from Marvel, which is why those are not that good
 
Warrik

Warrik

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Seeing Richard Madden and Kit Harrington pine over a woman named Sersi was...odd.

This was meh. Not bad but not great. Dragged quite a bit, and my god Salma cant act. Gilgamesh and Thena were great. Harish Patel (Karun) was great. For a comic relief character I really enjoyed his moments.

The two cameos at the end were interesting.
 
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Chukzombi

Chukzombi

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spronk said:
Marvel actually created, produced, wrote, etc all the Spider-man MCU movies. Sony just bankrolled it and keeps most of the money. The tradeoff deal is that Marvel gets to use Holland/Spidey in their other movies.

Sony themselves wrote/everything the Venom, Carnage, Mobius, etc movies without any input from Marvel, which is why those are not that good
Click to expand...
the money talks, this is Sony's one flagship. they lose Spidey, they got nothing. they cant afford to fuck over fans because fans will fuck them over permanent. Marvel hasnt realized this yet. they think they can still coast from ten years of awesome by making ten years of shit and somehow people will stick around. its obvious thats not the case. the post Endgame MCU doesnt make money anymore. they break even or lose money. Feige needs to be put back on his leash.
 
Animosity

Animosity

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Eternals felt like Marvel was thinking they could take any garbage boring characters and make them mainstream and popular. And they were very wrong. There was nothing good or interesting here. Nor do I ever need to see any of these characters again.
 
Mahes

Mahes

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I kind of chuckled at the end when it noted that "The Eternals" would be returning. All I could think was..

Confused Liam Neeson GIF
 
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