First World Problems

Took a shit today and was out of wet wipes, had to wipe with toilet paper like a fucking barbarian.

There are too many shows on at the same time for a single DVR to record, so I have to record and watch on a different TV.

My parents are upgrading their iPhones and I have to go over and help them do backups since they cant figure out iTunes.

Comcast just doubled their connection speeds in Houston. I just lost the speed test to my roommate and my download speed was 118mbs.

I can't decide if I want to have a mtn.dew or go to sleep

I still look at some shitty message board because there's porn and occasional amusement. But who the fuck uses message boards today?

Dinosaurs. Kids these days are all about the Yik Yak and Snapchat and Tinder. The good news is the little shits never go anywhere near my lawn.

The soda machine rain out of diet coke, so I settled for a diet mountain dew.

I washed my hands with some new soap my wife bought, and now the ipad isn't responding well...

I want to buy new Transformers for the collection, but my display space is too full.

Sometimes my Nespresso machine makes watery coffee.

Went for a walk at 10:15, both Burger King and Taco Bell's lobbies closed at 10:00. So I walked back home and had to drive back to Taco Bell to get some food. Then the cantina burrito they made me is at least twice the size it's supposed to be, and my 7 layer burrito is going to be leftovers, and leftover Taco Bell isn't as good as fresh.

I need to drive to best buy to get a $20 dollar cable to fix the wavy lines on my high end gaming pc's monitor. Stupid VGA.

I ate both burritos.

Just bought my wife the iPhone 6 plus, and she can't get the shit to work.

I don't like the way my otterbox fits over my new 6.

My projector on which I watch movies isn't HDCP capable.