First World Problems

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Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
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Mother is visiting for a week and she's doing all my chores while i'm at work, disrupting my daily routine.
 

Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
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There's this great Chinese place just across the street from my work where I go to eat lunch once in a while. However, it's just close enough to work that my phone picks up the office wifi, but far enough away that the connection is utter garbage. Sad.

Also, (and this probably is more applicable to the Jimmy rustling thread), the old Chinese guy who runs the place craps all over the "Asians are good at math" meme. He has to break out the calculator to figure out how much he owes me when I pay with cash. And it's not as if it's a difficult sum, it's akin to paying a $20 for a meal that costs $18.90. Every time!
Working asians are almost always bad at math, that's why you see them working. Those that are good live unimaginable fantasy lives, such is probably why they put so much time mastering it
Source: 20% of friends pool are asians; dated several for several years also, glimpsing more asians outside my circle, NatGeo-style
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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Buying guns with a bank doing SARs on you is a great fucking plan.

I'm curious to know exactly what you think is wrong with it. Let's go ahead and pretend I told her it was to buy guns instead of saying none of your business.

Do you have something to hide? Do you think the gubmint doesn't know I own guns? I have a ltc and I buy from the cmp every few years. I also maintain a twic which requires background checks every few years. I am flying under no radars.
 
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Porkchop

Mr. Poopybutthole
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On-call this weekend, we rarely get weekend calls, I had to get up at 8 AM to make a 5 minute call.
 

a_skeleton_05

<Banned>
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Had to spend $8 to prepare for a free medical procedure that would have cost a few thousand elsewhere. I could have bought a couple lootboxes with that $8!
 
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H.A. Monkey

Golden Knight of the Realm
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On the toilet after taking a nasty shit. Ran out of toilet paper. Backup rolls too far out of reach. Going to have to get up and grab a new roll, but I don’t wanna after that shit.
 
  • 1Worf
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Hoss

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Gotta do that crouched walk to keep the cheeks from coming together and making a mess. Either that or just take a shower.
 
  • 1Worf
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a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
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My wife introduced me to wipes, and my butthole has never been the same (in a good way). It's a nice finishing touch that I now enjoy significantly less when I have to take a shit in public.
 
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lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
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Yeah, but you can't flush those if you're on septic. No such thing as a flushable wipe. The fuck up the septic every time.
 

a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
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Yeah, that's why you get an enclosed trash can to deposit them next to your shitter and prevent any smell. Had to bitch my wife out about that after she clogged up our plumbing. A 50ft cable device purged any blockage before it became an issue. On septic, a little jizz can fuck things up.
 

Hoss

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What the fuck are you people talking about? I've been on septic pretty much my entire adult life and I get so sick of people saying you can't flush this or that. I once had a landlord who told me right after I signed the lease that I couldn't flush tp cause it would clog the septic. He was from a 3rd world shit hole, what's your excuse?

We use the Cottenelle wipes and have never had a problem. Maybe you need to think about some rid x if they're giving you problems. Or just start using the right product.

Are Flushable Wipes Septic Safe? - Cottonelle®
 

a_skeleton_05

<Banned>
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What the fuck are you people talking about? I've been on septic pretty much my entire adult life and I get so sick of people saying you can't flush this or that. I once had a landlord who told me right after I signed the lease that I couldn't flush tp cause it would clog the septic. He was from a 3rd world shit hole, what's your excuse?

We use the Cottenelle wipes and have never had a problem. Maybe you need to think about some rid x if they're giving you problems. Or just start using the right product.

Are Flushable Wipes Septic Safe? - Cottonelle®

I use these too and have never had a problem
 

Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
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When you have backlogged orders that take 70 mins to process and only 30 minutes to give each, and accidentally an hour on Facebook.
 

BoozeCube

Von Clippowicz
<Prior Amod>
47,445
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I will give a shout out to the wipes. It is a requirement if you want a clean butthole after dropping a deuce.


Here is my first world complaint for the day - Go to the airport and everyone crowds around the goddamn terminal waiting to get on the plane. Bitch you know damn well you are in Zone 782 F and will be the last goddamn person allowed on the plane why are you retards gathering around the First Class and Zone one areas like fucking scavengers. Piss off until your zone in called.

Also why do these land whale pieces of shit think their giant oversized trashbags for luggage is going to fit into the overhead. They have to ask for volunteers every flight to check their carry-ons because they know damn well these ham planets with their sausage fingers wont be able to cram their bullshit in the plane while they waddle down the aisle. I know this is part of the airlines fault for being dickheads about baggage fees and shit but still goddamn if you need 100 extra lbs of bullshit then check that shit.
 

Gnomedolf

<Silver Donator>
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Fuck toilet paper. I’m having shoulder surgery next week on my right shoulder. I’m right handed. First joke I heard was about wiping with my left hand. Solution: I bought one of those bidet toilet attachments with left-handed controls. Holy shit I love this thing. I know there’s this taboo around bidet’s (I thought they were strange, too) but damn it works great.
 
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