Tarrant220 said:
Not wanting to meet him and being pissed off he"s living with your son is making things about you when in reality it"s about your son.
This. I"m not married/divorced nor do I have a child so I"m not making any judgments, but I can give you the child"s perspective and tell you without a doubt what will happen if you follow a certain path.
My parents went through a really shitty and vindictive divorce. 12-some years later they still hate each other. My mom largely tries to keep the peace (though she"s no saint and has had her vindictive periods as well) while my dad largely tries to instigate or at least escalate problems. My mom wants her children to be well, my dad feels wronged by my mom. These are their primary emotions.
My mom, with some exceptions, made it about her kids and what she could do that was best for us.
My dad, with no exceptions, made everything about him and how my mom was "screwing him over."
Both appeared to me as pretty vindictive and childish at times, but there was a difference in their base motivation. I could see that. ALL kids can see that.
I currently am very close with my mom and tell her absolutely everything in my life, I have constantly fought with my dad and told him to fuck off for good 6 months ago and haven"t talked to him since.
If you let your personal feelings decide your behavior, you will single handedly fuck up your relationship with your kid(s). No matter what your ex tells your kid or what you tell your kid, he will know the truth about how you guys are. Kids are smarter than you think.
edit: Seems like everything is in the shitter for everyone except tarrant (and tenks, but he never posts much) heh. God damn. Everyone was great like 1-2 months ago. I"m meeting DG tomorrow night. I don"t know my purpose and what I want but I miss her much more than I expected I would. I had to pursue quite a bit to even get her to agree to meet and talk. It"s one of two possibilities: she wants me to work for it and win her back if that"s what I"m after, or, more likely, already met another guy. And I have a date on Saturday with the other Korean girl I went on 1 date with and didn"t like that much, simply because there"s nothing else goin on and I gotta force myself to leave the house when its so cold out. Gonna plan a longer night and some drinking and she what she"s made of. Eh.