If I"m told to behave or act a certain way, I always want to know why. Those self-help articles for men (and women) that talk about the art of the pickup, ladder theory, the game, associated behaviors, and the demeanor you should demonstrate are mostly correct in that it helps you build interest and attraction. If you dig only a little deeper, usually the discussion tends towards confidence being an attractive quality, if not the most attractive, and the self-help tends towards building this up.
But those articles never discusswhy confidence is such an attractive quality. This is the essential point.
Biological factors are not sufficient to explain this completely. Perception of a big, strong alpha man and a big-breasted, birthy hips woman that can protect and nurture offspring respectively certainly do play a role, but this explanation isn"t enough to describe the totality of behavior you see in dating and relationships. In fact, it explains only a small aspect. To the rest and most important, we must venture into the underlying psychology.
When you lust or feel attracted, can you describe the feeling? Asking most people, they can"t; they can only use vague metaphors like sparks go flying, chemistry, or an energy in the air. They can"t tell you why, or how, or even how long it"ll last--they just feel it at the moment. This is what we"re talking about precisely, and how and why this is generated psychologically.
And thus we arrive:It is generated primarily through confidence as confidence is the essential factor behind egoism.
When one "falls in love", what is happening psychologically is, for a time, a synthesis of their respective egos. That"s why the "take on the world" feeling occurs. That"s why you see girls talk of their man"s job, or social status, or prowess doing some skill in a proud fashion: precisely because it"s an extension of their own ego. Likewise for men, when they talk that their woman has big breasts, a nice ass--it makes themselves feel better, and by extension their own sense of self feels improved.
So you see, attraction occurs when there"s a possibility for strong ego boundaries to be broken down and synthesized psychologically--again,egoism a deaux. Gentle, kind people don"t have such strong ego boundaries; so the sense of self worth of the other person is NOT heightened by being in a relationship with a kind or caring individual.
Money, power, influence are the by products of confidence. And the projection of illusory confidence is the by product of egoism.
Hopefully that"s more clear.