High IQ, making friends and influencing people.

I was watching an older Stefan Molyneaux video about IQ today. A point he made was about an often quoted study on the IQ of children of mixed ethnicity in germany after the war. He said he suspected the black fathers were higher IQ because they would need to be in order to converse with the German mothers.

I got to thinking about why I enjoy posting and perusing here at FOH. My wife does not understand why I check the boards a lot and why I don't put time into RL friendships. The reason is something I understand well. I enjoy people in my life at the acquaintance level, I can party with them but I cannot have intellectually stimulating conversation. This has been a theme since childhood. I do occasionally find people I really enjoy talking to and I tend to become very close with them for a while.

I am wondering if others on this board with high IQ's have similar issues? Also, I did not attend college, so I understand I probably missed an important time for developing friendships with people of intelligence. I am not asking for advice on making friends, my time is already demanding with family and as an introvert enjoy my alone time. I would just like to know if people have the same issues and if you have taken the mensa written what IQ level you might be also.

kegkilla said:

this is pathetic. the reason you have no friends isn't because you supposedly have an IQ. the reason you have no friends is beacuse you're a loser and you're bad at social interactions so you avoid them.

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Problem with that theory is I am social for a living. I am a bartender and have been for the last 10 years. I also have a regular group we bbq and hang out with weekly. I do just fine socially, I just have zero desire to get closer than the level we already interact on.

sadris said:

Dunning–Kruger effect - Wikipedia

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Not applicable sorry.

Brikker said:

you could have made lots of friends in jail

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Yeah well with recidivism rates as high as 85% I decided against that.

a_skeleton_06 said:

I think that sentence may have done you in and snagged the Kruger wiki page. I have a respectable IQ but I don't think intellect (or some sort of superiority) played a part in my lack of social skills. Moving around a lot and just spending all of my free time reading, playing video games or hanging out with my brothers took care of that.

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I can understand that and I have some similar issues. I think what people discount alot is how working as a bartender doesn't put me in contact with very intelligent people. If I was in say finance, engineering, the sciences, I would probably be exposed regularly to people who would provide a more interesting conversation.

I understood writing this would be 9/10 insults. I am fishing for thought provoking points. Just so people understand that putting myself out there isn't done with a lack of awareness.

Pops said:

Since when does it take a high IQ to be a bartender?

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It doesn't, I am a bartender because after I got out of prison I wanted a job that paid decently and allowed me to enjoy my life. I work about 25 hours a week make in the mid 40k range and spend a ton of time with my kids. I am happy with my life outside of not having alot of good conversation.