i think i may have a claim to the House of Ascansia (serious)

What will be your policies, Lord Keg? I assume Prima Nocta will be reinstituted immediately. War declarations for ISIL?

Will you be reinstating the Wittlesbachs? Then I could join you as Duke Jait of Bavaria.

We need a crowd funding for keg's ascension. First goal is the 4 dollars for Tuco's access. Everything beyond 4 dollars goes to support kegs bastard child, the nose needs d-cups. First stretch goal is d-cups stretch marks, and next is her coin in sock sucked dry titties. Bonus point for Tyen giving thumbs high.

Sir Keg,

May I recommend that ReRolled AssHat of the Year (tm) be the court jester while you're in power? I'm sure you won't be dissapoint.

Assassinated by who, though? Germans don't do violence anymore. His cousins are prolly all vegan SJW's that are clearing up that castle for all the unwashed goatfuckers that'll be running trains on them in a few weeks.

Mi'lord, There are others more capable of being your poison tester or your master of coin or your seneschal. I am willing to be your hoor tester. I shall see to it that no skeevy tang shall reach your person.

Barraco Bisi_sl said:

Mormons are The Great Keepers of all thing genealogy, so I think Sebudai or myself should be allowed to officially rule on this.

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We should create a Quorum of the twelve Ex-Apostles to debate this.

Really? Is genealogy a thing mormons do like buying up all the radio stations because they're prophesied to announce breaking of the seventh seal?

khorum_sl said:

Really? Is genealogy a thing mormons do like buying up all the radio stations because they're prophesied to announce breaking of the seventh seal?

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Since they have this big thing about baptizing the dead they are really (Really) big on Genealogy to try and track people down for posthumous magic bathing.

Well clearly theErzherzog Albrecht Kegkilla von Anheltwill require the services of an Archbishop from the Mormonreich. How salty are the mormons that they weren't around to participate in the crusades? Pretty salty I imagine.

Not sure about burning those filthy turks but I think Duke Keg and the Quorum can work something out about raiding surrounding lands for all those wives we will need while caring for the spiritual needs of his serfs.

My oldest recorded ancestor worked as the Warden of a Jail in Germany. He had the prisoners make broomsticks, and flooded the local market with second rate brooms making a tidy fortune for himself. We know this, because the head of the broom makers guild complained about the shitty brooms and how they were being driven out of business.

His son became a lawyer, and later a judge. His son became a Lawyer and bought a noble title from the Holy Roman Empire. My family ruled a small area until Napoleon kicked them out.

All that I have now is a family crest. I envy you, von Kegkilla.

Keg really needs to marry Mist now. She would get a few mini-Kegs out, then spend all her time 'bonding' with his cousins while he secures his legacy. There would be peace and stability for 1000 years. A fourth something or other even.

Moonarchia_sl said:

There would be peace and stability for 1000 years. A fourth something or other even.

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Mist could be mother to the Thousand-Year Kegreich!