Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Soygen_sl said:

"Obscure rule" - Is it a rule or not? Play the game right or don't play at all!

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I shouldn't have said obscure rule. More like obscure fact or strategy.

Like

"Ok guys, at the beginning you can build a settlement and road"

"BUT DEFINITELY YOU DONT WANT TO BORDER A DESERT AND ALSO YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR COLONY ON LAND THAT BORDERS COMMON DICE ROLLS AND YOU DONT WANT ONLY ONE TYPE OF RESOURCE AND BTW YOU CAN TRADE THIS SHIT AT THESE PORTS AND ALSO 10 POINTS AND YOU WIN THE GAME"

Bunch of goddamn nerds up in here.

My wife does the same thing with board game rules. Lets see her try to explain Dark Souls when it gets here.

She started a new job recently and actually got yelled at by her boss for speaking over him. He got pissed the first time it happened and she came back home realizing that she interrupts people or interjects all the time. I had some consoling words for her but on the inside I was kind of happy that she's finally realized it and now seems to not like that about herself.

dbl

Khane_sl said:

Bunch of goddamn nerds up in here.

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Yeah I have no idea what's going on.

Can someone talk about getting cucked or something? I want to participate!

Wood for sheep?

lurkingdirk_sl said:

Discussion to follow. I have no idea what is up, but I'm really quite pissed with my wife at the moment. She's been intensely negative and argumentative for about a month. I know all relationships go through shit, but this is new and uncomfortable. I'm 100% sure we will figure it out, but I needed to vent. There it is.

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Definitely sounds like something is bothering her, and she's holding back and lashing out instead of discussing it. Or maybe she's just in a personal funk and you're getting the brunt of it. Best of luck getting her to discuss it and working it out. I suggest a thoughtful, introspective line to open the conversation, like "what crawled up your ass and died, woman?!?"

My wife used to interrupt me constantly also, then at some point I started walking away the second she started talking over me. As I walk away i remind her that if she can't allow me the opportunity to finish my thought then the conversation is already over. I also refuse to speak anymore on that subject, maybe we can try this conversation again tomorrow, but it rarely happens anymore.

She also likes to encourage me to tell a certain story to friends and family just to constantly interrupt or add details. Now i decline any offers by her in those situations.

Noodleface_sl said:

What she told me is she starts to get really excited and can't help herself, she has little control over it.

It's just annoying because she'll ask me to explain the game but then start talking over me. I started making her do it and I think it pissed her off.

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So next time you are going to pound town just go straight to anal. Tell her you got really excited and had couldn't help yourself.

Nester_sl said:

Wood for sheep?

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ISIS what you did there.

Had a very long discussion with my wife today. She initiated it with an apology, actually. She said that while we were on vacation she felt like a totally inadequate parent because every time something came up, the kids wanted me to go with them and do it, and they never once asked her to go with them. Here's a hike over here that overlooks a shipwreck - "Hey Papa, let's go look at it!" There's an opportunity to swim at a serious drop off - "Hey Papa, let's go do that!" never her. I didn't notice it, but she did, and in hindsight it was pretty constant.

And I don't get it. She's as game to do anything with the kids as I am, but somehow on this trip, the kids all decided I was the fun parent and they had to do everything with me and they even made comments about how Mama could come or not, whatever. The kids were not deliberately doing this, and it might well be the exact opposite on our next trip, but it just caught my wife off guard and she didn't react well. She absolutely owned it, gave a genuine apology, and this is entirely behind us.

Now we just need to communicate this to the kids somehow without making them feel like shit. Probably just moving forward without the awkwardness and hostility will be sufficient.

On a different and somewhat hilarious note, my 13 year old daughter is at a riding camp this week. One of the instructors, Jason, is a 19 year old hottie who has caught her eye. At the end of the day they go swimming, and apparently Jason is quite ripped. My daughter said, in rather a dreamy voice, "He has boobs bigger than mine!" upon catching sight of his pecs. Her 15 year old sisters sighed deeply and said, "yeah..."

It's weird seeing your children developing into sexual beings.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jen-simon/what-my-fun-dad-taught-me-about-parenting-and-how-my-mom-made-it-possible_b_5486526.html_sl said:

My dad was able to be the "fun" parent because my mom was the "everything else" parent. She made and enforced rules. She did all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, school stuff, house stuff, financial stuff - if it needed to be done, she did it. As a child, I never saw how she maintained the house and spent her whole day working for our family. Now, as a mother myself, I know how incredibly important (and thankless) her role was. So, on this Father's Day, I also want to thank my mother, because without her I wouldn't have had the kind of dad I'm celebrating.

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Funny.

a_skeleton_03_sl said:

My wife complains about that often, I tell her "so be the fun parent then" and I get a death glare. We haven't solved this one yet.

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Well I dunno, I think it's really simple. Mom typically dotes and gives in to any whim, there's no sense of adventure or daring to cross paths with her. Dad will backhand the shit out of you for saying the wrong word but he's got cool hobbies and does stuff with wrenches and guns and shit while mom is in the bathtub reading.

'Boring' people aren't very inspiring so they don't attract attention or admiration in the same way for kids. I mean I can't think of a single set of parents from my childhood that deviated from: mom did everything mundane with you (drove you to the sledding hill, made you lunch, dropped you off at Comp USA, etc.) while the dad was a fucking secret agent or engineer or some shit and wasn't around all the time but whenever he did decide to give you the time of day it was something cool like going camping or driving a boat or building model rockets or something.

To fix that mom probably has to involve herself with the kids doing something interesting or eventful and probably be a bit more aloof in some cases.

At first glance I wouldn't call it keeping score, and I feel it's all in my head, rather than hers, but my buddy is like I'll get back into WoW with you if you can commit Sunday/Monday from 8-11pm for 3 months. Show the wife, expecting aww F no! and she's like do it.

I'm like what? Do it? But then you have to put them to bed those nights, and deal with them if they wake up the only 2 nights that you could get a break from it because I'm off work? She's like it's not a big deal, do it.

I'm walking into a trap.... A little of my hesitation has been because the wife is pregnant, still in 1st trimester, and it's been pretty taxing on our relationship IMO. She's a stay at home Mom, and is sick a lot, so I come home from work to a shit show a lot. House a mess, nothing was done, no groceries, all because she was too sick, or the kids were too crazy, and it grates on me a lot. So I guess to have something like this work out so easily, I'm immediately thinking.. ok, what's gonna not get done because of it? What's the catch?

I work myself into a tizzy sometimes over this relationship, even though we've been married 6 years. Lots of it in my head I think.

Here's a shout out to my (ex) neighbor, who left his wife and two little girls for a new job 300 miles away and only comes home every weekend. Unless he's tired. Or wants to do something up there. Or can't be bothered. Or doesn't want to spend his weekend helping his family with stuff - it was quite the rant his wife gave us last week.

I sometimes feel like I could do a little more in the house. Maybe fill up the washing machine just once a week. Take out the trash right away instead of pushing it back a day or two. Go for a walk with our daughter (Pokemon Go helps a lot there now!)

But compared to that guy my wife sees me as a fucking saint.

I hope she never moves away.