Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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Cad_sl said:
Thats true, but men tend to be apathetic shit heads and just walk away from their kids completely too.
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Yup absolutely. I don't meet many of them because of the professional environment I work in, but generally those type of guys are broke ass loser douchebags with tats and/or alcohol issues. Chances are he was this type of douchebag before she even married him. It's rarely the professional 9-6 guy in a suit that goes Full Apathy and walks out on his kids, except for the occasional scumbag that throws it all away for their hot receptionist. Unfortunately the greedy bitch that will play custody games to wring money out of her ex is practically universal-- from your broke-ass sketchy tattoo skank all the way up to Rich Bitch.
 
Cad

Cad

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Frenzied Wombat_sl said:
Yup absolutely. I don't meet many of them because of the professional environment I work in, but generally those type of guys are broke ass loser douchebags with tats and/or alcohol issues. Chances are he was this type of douchebag before she even married him. It's rarely the professional 9-6 guy in a suit that goes Full Apathy and walks out on his kids, except for the occasional scumbag that throws it all away for their hot receptionist. Unfortunately the greedy bitch that will play custody games to wring money out of her ex is practically universal-- from your broke-ass sketchy tattoo skank all the way up to Rich Bitch.
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Eh I see a lot more wealthy dads who don't really see/interact with their kids but pay for schooling, for example. It's not a substitute for being a dad, but they give whats easy to give for them: money.
 
Khane

Khane

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Cad_sl said:
I mean, thats fine. If a prenup is a precondition for you, you're going to have to accept there's a lot of women who won't like that. Nothing wrong with your idea, IMO, but the other person gets to choose what they want too.
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I get the feeling some of you think I look in the mirror every morning and say "Gee, I wonder why I'm still single" as if I don't know exactly why I'm still single.
 
Cad

Cad

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Khane_sl said:
I get the feeling some of you think I look in the mirror every morning and say "Gee, I wonder why I'm still single" as if I don't know exactly why I'm still single.
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Nothing wrong with being single, believe me when I say I envy the freedom and personal time you probably have. I have a shit ton of responsibilities that sometimes are maddening.

On the other hand, there's benefits with those responsibilities. But, I can see the advantages of being single as well. Whatever works for you bro, no judgment.
 
Khane

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Picasso_sl said:
You just need to find a similarly ugly person then bro, happens all the time.
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Lenas

Lenas

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Khane_sl said:
I get the feeling some of you think I look in the mirror every morning and say "Gee, I wonder why I'm still single" as if I don't know exactly why I'm still single.
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To be fair you offer a lot of marital advice having never been married (afaik?)
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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Cad_sl said:
Eh I see a lot more wealthy dads who don't really see/interact with their kids but pay for schooling, for example. It's not a substitute for being a dad, but they give whats easy to give for them: money.
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You're burned either way-- it's hard to find balance it seems. My Dad was basically a Disney Dad, but did it full time. Life was primarily about enjoyment and his kids, and he was essentially just a big kid. Worshipped him until my late teens when I realized he wasn't a good provider, nor had a good work ethic-- he was basically a big loving kid that avoided a lot of adult responsibility. But the man was practically solely responsible for making my childhood memories positive ones. My stepdad here in Dallas is a neurosurgeon that I met when I was 20 or so, and he already had three adult daughters. To me, this "dad" was everything my dad wasn't-- super hard worker, super serious, etc. Yet his daughters don't get along well with him, and deeply resent him for not being around more when they were young. This despite the fact that they are all now very successful, and got to attend world class colleges because of his hard work..

Obviously there are fathers that can find that right balance, but man I think it's tough to balance the expectations of work/wife/kids.
 
mkopec

mkopec

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My real dad was 100% absent. Worked for the rail road(bartender, probably fucking all sorts of chicks) and my mom and him divorced when I was like 4, but they married early like 19, had me when they were 20 this was poland circa late70s.. He even lived in the same apartment with us for years and I never saw him. My stepdad here in the states worked, came home laid down on couch and watched TV. Never took us anywhere, never did shit with us. I kind of feel sad for him now because hes about to retire with no hobbies, and nothing to do in life except lay on couch take aps and watch TV, bitch at my mom to make him food. They had 2 other kids together in their mid 20s now but they are gone now.
 
mkopec

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I think most women from 70s and 80s fended off a rape attempt, it was part of growing up. Made them stronger. some of course did not succeed.
 
Khane

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I need to get out of the habit of saying I'm single. My girlfriend wouldn't be happy with me if she heard that kind of talk.
 
iannis

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Frenzied Wombat_sl said:
You're burned either way-- it's hard to find balance it seems. My Dad was basically a Disney Dad, but did it full time. Life was primarily about enjoyment and his kids, and he was essentially just a big kid. Worshipped him until my late teens when I realized he wasn't a good provider, nor had a good work ethic-- he was basically a big loving kid that avoided a lot of adult responsibility. But the man was practically solely responsible for making my childhood memories positive ones. My stepdad here in Dallas is a neurosurgeon that I met when I was 20 or so, and he already had three adult daughters. To me, this "dad" was everything my dad wasn't-- super hard worker, super serious, etc. Yet his daughters don't get along well with him, and deeply resent him for not being around more when they were young. This despite the fact that they are all now very successful, and got to attend world class colleges because of his hard work..

Obviously there are fathers that can find that right balance, but man I think it's tough to balance the expectations of work/wife/kids.
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I suspect it's an almost impossible balance and you'll wind up regretting the cost of choices that you made either way. It may be best to just try to let them know you love them once in a while and do what you're going to do, where ever that falls in the scale of extremes. But real life isn't a lifetime movie, and that shit doesn't just come up randomly with emotional music playing in the background past the age of like 8 or 9.

I've heard parents say that the bulk of the real work in is the first 7 years or so. Once they hit 8 or 9 you've already done or failed to do the majority of what can be done or not done. Once they hit the teens they're not a whole lot more than a resentful shitty little house mate. Don't have kids though, no idea how true it is. It jives with my experience of it from the other side though.
 
mkopec

mkopec

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Yeah once they hit like 13-14 they dont want anything to do with you anymore. They dont even want to be seen with you in public. But I just attribute that to being a snotty nosed teen. I think that shit reverts itself around 18-20 when they start to realize RL again and maybe mom and pops are not that bad.
 
Hoss

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Man, getting married has saved me so much money. Sure, there was an expensive ass party right at the start, but since then all my money has gone to toys and shit I can enjoy instead of throwing it at pussy.
 
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