Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 37,961
- 14,508
One positive note my wife has been cleaning the house a bit. Nothing crazy, but started at least. I've been cleaning the basement like I've been putting off forever so maybe she started to feel bad
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
- 28,325
- 43,163
Her father didn't care, but her mom was butthurt. Her mom's first words after telling her she was pregnant was "But you're getting married, right?!"
Honestly, I would have proposed over a year ago but I just get stressed out thinking about the actual wedding planning, guests who I don't want to come, but who will want to come, etc. The actual being married to her part is moot at this point. We are, for all intents and purposes, married already.
I just caved and invited all my aunts and uncles even though I dislike the majority. Honestly you interact with them for maybe 15 minutes and that is it. As long as they bring a gift (or better cash) it all washes out. I did it mostly so my mon wouldn't have to deal with the fallout of me not inviting her brothers. It felt somewhat selfish to drop that on my mom's lap simply because I don't like them.
- 16,386
- 7,388
How much I care about not being invited to a non-immediate relative's wedding drops off quite quickly and inversely with travel time. Do I have to book a hotel? Don't care.
A wedding should be a celebration of the couple and the people intimately involved in their lives. I rarely see my distant relatives, so, meh.
A wedding should be a celebration of the couple and the people intimately involved in their lives. I rarely see my distant relatives, so, meh.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 37,961
- 14,508
I begrudgingly invited an aunt that combined with her daughter gave us $15. Each plate was $50-60
- 2
ZyyzYzzy
RIP USA
- 25,295
- 48,789
Didn't know you were part jewish. Wife and I said fuck it and only invited pur immediate family and people we are close with
- 16,386
- 7,388
If you're going to go that route, how much did their travel and hotel cost?
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 37,961
- 14,508
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 21,433
- 38,944
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
So apparently one of the keys to dating success with new man has been that I am not clingy or needy....his words. I am trying to decide if this was his conscious or subconscious attempt at positive reinforcement.
I really am not clingy but sometimes I feel needy; usually in matters related to sex and affection. I mean I don't need over the top fawn all over and call me pet names crap, but a great spontaneous kiss would be welcome.
He is difficult to read and gauge, I told him that. He said he has been told that before.He said the fact that I was sitting on his patio with him should be enough for me to realize how much he likes me. Um, o.k. note to self. BTW...I did thank him for sharing that with me though....my definite attempt as positive reinforcement.
So should I be able to extrapolate accurate meaning from that and other what seems to me to be benign behavior? "Geez....you're sitting on my patio means I like you"...And is that method of communication typical of men who have been single for a while? (He was married, 10 years, has been divorced for several and had dated a lot).
I am just a girl trying to navigate these murky waters.
Opinions please.
I really am not clingy but sometimes I feel needy; usually in matters related to sex and affection. I mean I don't need over the top fawn all over and call me pet names crap, but a great spontaneous kiss would be welcome.
He is difficult to read and gauge, I told him that. He said he has been told that before.He said the fact that I was sitting on his patio with him should be enough for me to realize how much he likes me. Um, o.k. note to self. BTW...I did thank him for sharing that with me though....my definite attempt as positive reinforcement.
So should I be able to extrapolate accurate meaning from that and other what seems to me to be benign behavior? "Geez....you're sitting on my patio means I like you"...And is that method of communication typical of men who have been single for a while? (He was married, 10 years, has been divorced for several and had dated a lot).
I am just a girl trying to navigate these murky waters.
Opinions please.
Blazin
Creative Title
- 6,395
- 33,549
I would probably respond similarly to people asking how I felt about them. "If I'm around you by choice, I must like you." It may be too much of a stereotype, but I think most introverted types would feel this way.
...edit However, this level of communication affection is never going to make a person feel "special" as it can often be read as you are being "tolerated" so nothing wrong with seeking a little more affirmation as long as it doesn't push into overbearing.
...edit However, this level of communication affection is never going to make a person feel "special" as it can often be read as you are being "tolerated" so nothing wrong with seeking a little more affirmation as long as it doesn't push into overbearing.
- 3
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
I didn't ask. He brought it up, that I wasn't clingy/needy. I just took the opportunity to thank him for telling me that and I followed up with that he was a little difficult to gauge...which resulted in the patio remark...which I also thanked him about...then we went back to listening to the ball game, watching the movement of the clouds revealing the stars and talking about movies, satellites, Rob Lowe, horse racing and art.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
- 21,433
- 38,944
Give him a d20 and a list of 20 attitudes/actions to take. Tell him to roll it before every date.
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,696
- 2,173
Hahahahahaha. ..ok!
Funnier still, I told him last night that I WAS a d20 and good luck figuring out how to keep up!
Holy crap I love you guys.
Control
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
- 2,233
- 5,602
Just a guess, but his negative frame of reference is probably from someone (perceived as?) needing constant attention... who always has to have plans together, who can't do anything without him, who is entirely reliant on him for her entertainment, a night apart means something is wrong and the world is ending... etc. etc.
and having a nice, peaceful afternoon on the deck, listening to a ballgame, doesn't sound like something that would be enjoyable with the person I described. Depending on how introverted/hermit-ish, having someone to enjoy some quiet-time with can be a pretty big deal.
- 2
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 25,538
- 12,024
FYI "Needy" and "Clingy" are very subjective. The other person isn't being needy if they need you to do something you want to do. They're not clingy if they want to be with you at times when you want to be with them. So there's no surprise that you feel needy sometimes and he's not calling it needy. Why you feel needy sexually is probably something to bring up with your shrink, but just realize that's probably mostly in your head.