Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Noodleface said:

I posted in the parent thread but I'm gonna drop it here.

At 3:01 am my wife had crazy painful contractions and instantly her water broke. Called 911 and they were on the way and I was advised to keep her comfortable and wait the 4 minutes (literally down the street).

30 seconds later I'm back calling 911 because the baby instantly came out into her arms. And I'm a dad again.

I have never been so afraid in my life. My wife was rushed to the hospital because she lost so much blood.

Scary

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Holy Jebus cross-checking Mary in the crease...Way to go for keeping your head about you! Congrats on being a dad once more, and congrats on being a total bad-ass. You won today. Everything.

I can only imagine how scary that was. But I guess this is certain proof that you're hung like a horse, and you merely prepared her to have a quick birth with your girth. How does she feel? Births that fast often come with tearing and such, I hope everyone involved is okay and able to get some rest.

Grats Noodlebutt! 2 for 2 on boys so far? Need to make or adopt a girl so the house isn't a total sausagefest.

Just sitting down now. Yeah I'm not some suit happy dude but letting my wife shower alone 2 hours after giving birth in our house I thought was so fucked. I actually thought someone was helping her until she called for help. She said she passed out and woke up on the floor.

That one is questionable. If your wife was adamant about showering alone, or if she just DID it without even telling anyone (that's where my initial bet is, she wanted to get up and get clean and she wanted to do it herself... and the female mind directly after childbirth... it literally makes them dumb for a little bit so that they can forget how painful it was) then...

Those showers almost always come with seats, too.

Yeah, she fainted. After a birth, easy or hard, that is not some incredible fact and should have been anticipated.

Yes, it is sub optimal.

Nah they pushed her to shower because of the blood and she agreed. She's fine now so that's all that mattered.

Ahh, yeah. That's not questionable. That's a nurse not doing her job.

Congrats dude.

Is the baby 100% conehead free since it came out so fast?

My neighbors baby is still coneheaded after like 3 weeks, i think its permanent.

Picasso3 said:

Congrats dude.

Is the baby 100% conehead free since it came out so fast?

My neighbors baby is still coneheaded after like 3 weeks, i think its permanent.

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You joke but yes, perfect shaped head

actually the fastness was a detriment because when t hey come out slow all the mucus and shit is squeezed out so he's all backed up

That's gonna be a little man, innit it.

Babby was all like, "Poppa, poppa! It smells like farts in there!"

Make sure his first word is fart.

Wife is coming home today. I suppose now is when shit gets real.

Having a 2 year old you forget how tiny the little dude once was

Yeah the two year old is in the phase of throwing tantrums at the drop of a dime so it sucks right now and I'm worried about the baby sleeping.

Can we also rewind a week and have you lend me one of your midwives?