Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,325
43,162
bought mine a 1.16 CARAT SI2 E EXCELLENT ROUND CUT WITH A TWINNING WISP and i just love it.
187367.gif
 

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,173
I have written and re-written a post a couple of times, but it was all angry and self serving and pitiful. In an attempt at a little dignity, I am going to wash my face, put on my cami and go to bed.

Love your wives, take care of yourselves, eat right, don't smoke, take a walk. If she is a keeper then keep her.
 

sakkath

Trakanon Raider
1,665
1,049
My wife & I both wanted to elope, but it would have really upset my parents if I did that, so I hired a rock band and an open bar and had a party. It was pretty great, cost around AUD$13k. My relos are all alcoholics so most of the cost was in the bar.
 

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,173
Mrs. Gravy Mrs. Gravy what if she is a Banger?
I think you know Oblio Oblio

(I just sang that reply as I was keying it)

So, I am trying to decide if New continues to be worth my interest and effort. He is charming, funny, talented and intelligent. He also is emotionally exhausting to me. Simple example... I hear about his day, good, bad, indifferent...and in great detail, but the moment I even mention mine the conversation ends. This comes across to me as selfish, not reciprocal. I don't need him to listen to all about my day. I have sisters, friends and a dog for that. But I should be able to get a little bit of even feigned interest from him. Exhausting.

I know he likes me, he calls every day...that takes effort on his part. He makes sure that his house is clean for me and that the little things that bother me there are managed... but I think he has beem single a long time and could live without ever seeing me again too. I think he would just continue to want a relationship but not know how to have one. From what he has said, he is trying...and some of his actions show that. But others don't.
I need to talk to him face to face and ask him pointedly what he wants. if he can verbalize that. I think he is great at dating...at getting the number, at having fun. He is not so good at moving it along, even though he would benefit from it and he actually wants it. He has had some really horrible things happen to him in his life...I mean I can see how his personality and self protection developed, he is so incredibly guarded.
I am not accustomed to that. I am not accustomed to having to guess the value someone places on me.

I am worth telling. I am worth the effort. I just don't know if he values himself enough to realize it. I also think that he is so used to no one ever nurturing him, he pushes back because he can't handle it.
Crap...maybe my concern and loving ways actually exhausts him.
 
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Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,325
43,162
My wife & I both wanted to elope, but it would have really upset my parents if I did that, so I hired a rock band and an open bar and had a party. It was pretty great, cost around AUD$13k. My relos are all alcoholics so most of the cost was in the bar.
This is what I want to do. I'd rather spend the money on a really good party than anything else.
 
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Cad

<Bronze Donator>
24,487
45,378
I think you know Oblio Oblio

(I just sang that reply as I was keying it)

So, I am trying to decide if New continues to be worth my interest and effort. He is charming, funny, talented and intelligent. He also is emotionally exhausting to me. Simple example... I hear about his day, good, bad, indifferent...and in great detail, but the moment I even mention mine the conversation ends. This comes across to me as selfish, not reciprocal. I don't need him to listen to all about my day. I have sisters, friends and a dog for that. But I should be able to get a little bit of even feigned interest from him. Exhausting.

I know he likes me, he calls every day...that takes effort on his part. He makes sure that his house is clean for me and that the little things that bother me there are managed... but I think he has beem single a long time and could live without ever seeing me again too. I think he would just continue to want a relationship but not know how to have one. From what he has said, he is trying...and some of his actions show that. But others don't.
I need to talk to him face to face and ask him pointedly what he wants. if he can verbalize that. I think he is great at dating...at getting the number, at having fun. He is not so good at moving it along, even though he would benefit from it and he actually wants it. He has had some really horrible things happen to him in his life...I mean I can see how his personality and self protection developed, he is so incredibly guarded.
I am not accustomed to that. I am not accustomed to having to guess the value someone places on me.

I am worth telling. I am worth the effort. I just don't know if he values himself enough to realize it. I also think that he is so used to no one ever nurturing him, he pushes back because he can't handle it.
Crap...maybe my concern and loving ways actually exhausts him.

I have friends like this too. They seem to have a lot of more shallow relationships where they don't really talk about stuff, don't open up. Now and then you'll get some outpouring but mostly it'll be very superficial conversation.
 

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
27,674
32,714
I think you know Oblio Oblio

(I just sang that reply as I was keying it)

So, I am trying to decide if New continues to be worth my interest and effort. He is charming, funny, talented and intelligent. He also is emotionally exhausting to me. Simple example... I hear about his day, good, bad, indifferent...and in great detail, but the moment I even mention mine the conversation ends. This comes across to me as selfish, not reciprocal. I don't need him to listen to all about my day. I have sisters, friends and a dog for that. But I should be able to get a little bit of even feigned interest from him. Exhausting.

I know he likes me, he calls every day...that takes effort on his part. He makes sure that his house is clean for me and that the little things that bother me there are managed... but I think he has beem single a long time and could live without ever seeing me again too. I think he would just continue to want a relationship but not know how to have one. From what he has said, he is trying...and some of his actions show that. But others don't.
I need to talk to him face to face and ask him pointedly what he wants. if he can verbalize that. I think he is great at dating...at getting the number, at having fun. He is not so good at moving it along, even though he would benefit from it and he actually wants it. He has had some really horrible things happen to him in his life...I mean I can see how his personality and self protection developed, he is so incredibly guarded.
I am not accustomed to that. I am not accustomed to having to guess the value someone places on me.

I am worth telling. I am worth the effort. I just don't know if he values himself enough to realize it. I also think that he is so used to no one ever nurturing him, he pushes back because he can't handle it.
Crap...maybe my concern and loving ways actually exhausts him.

At least he's not playing Everquest or WoW

Unless he is playing Everquest or WoW?
 
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Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
37,961
14,508
Marriage yeah. We aren't going out because the 2 month old is sick, but we did all spend the day so far doing stuff as a family. Hit up the zoo and stuff so far.
 

Omi43221

Trakanon Raider
924
824
I think you know Oblio Oblio

(I just sang that reply as I was keying it)

So, I am trying to decide if New continues to be worth my interest and effort. He is charming, funny, talented and intelligent. He also is emotionally exhausting to me. Simple example... I hear about his day, good, bad, indifferent...and in great detail, but the moment I even mention mine the conversation ends. This comes across to me as selfish, not reciprocal. I don't need him to listen to all about my day. I have sisters, friends and a dog for that. But I should be able to get a little bit of even feigned interest from him. Exhausting.

I know he likes me, he calls every day...that takes effort on his part. He makes sure that his house is clean for me and that the little things that bother me there are managed... but I think he has beem single a long time and could live without ever seeing me again too. I think he would just continue to want a relationship but not know how to have one. From what he has said, he is trying...and some of his actions show that. But others don't.
I need to talk to him face to face and ask him pointedly what he wants. if he can verbalize that. I think he is great at dating...at getting the number, at having fun. He is not so good at moving it along, even though he would benefit from it and he actually wants it. He has had some really horrible things happen to him in his life...I mean I can see how his personality and self protection developed, he is so incredibly guarded.
I am not accustomed to that. I am not accustomed to having to guess the value someone places on me.

I am worth telling. I am worth the effort. I just don't know if he values himself enough to realize it. I also think that he is so used to no one ever nurturing him, he pushes back because he can't handle it.
Crap...maybe my concern and loving ways actually exhausts him.

Everything I have heard about your relationship with 'New' so far sounds pretty great. You two seem to handle thing together well. But I'm not sure my take on this would be the same as yours is right now. My advice would be decide what you want out of a relationship, and then don't settle. If you aren't getting what you want from your partner then ask for what you are missing. You clearly want someone who listens to what happened with you at the end of the day. That is part of what gives you that feeling that they care. Tell him that. Tell him what you want. The asking where things are going asking him what he wants that smacks of testing to me, that is when a guy ends up looking like a deer caught in head lights.

m2c
 
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Omi43221

Trakanon Raider
924
824
All right I have a weird issue in my relationship or personal issue, whatever. I always had trouble concentrating on things and had this belief that if I was truly sexually satisfied at least for the time being I would be able to focus better. So my girlfriend has gotten to the level where she can really clean my clock. I'm satisfied. Turns out I was just plain wrong about the focus thing I just become more easily distracted by other things like FOH forums etc.

The problem is I have had this libido drop since figuring this out. I know she wants sex more often than what we are having it now but just not feeling any urgency of my own most of the time. Not sure how to fix this.
 

Crone

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
9,709
3,211
Marriage yeah. We aren't going out because the 2 month old is sick, but we did all spend the day so far doing stuff as a family. Hit up the zoo and stuff so far.
Wait... so you won't take the wife out because Little Me is sick, but you'll take him to the zoo? Does not compute!
 
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BrotherWu

MAGA
<Silver Donator>
3,047
5,835
I think you know Oblio Oblio

(I just sang that reply as I was keying it)

So, I am trying to decide if New continues to be worth my interest and effort. He is charming, funny, talented and intelligent. He also is emotionally exhausting to me. Simple example... I hear about his day, good, bad, indifferent...and in great detail, but the moment I even mention mine the conversation ends. This comes across to me as selfish, not reciprocal. I don't need him to listen to all about my day. I have sisters, friends and a dog for that. But I should be able to get a little bit of even feigned interest from him. Exhausting.

I know he likes me, he calls every day...that takes effort on his part. He makes sure that his house is clean for me and that the little things that bother me there are managed... but I think he has beem single a long time and could live without ever seeing me again too. I think he would just continue to want a relationship but not know how to have one. From what he has said, he is trying...and some of his actions show that. But others don't.
I need to talk to him face to face and ask him pointedly what he wants. if he can verbalize that. I think he is great at dating...at getting the number, at having fun. He is not so good at moving it along, even though he would benefit from it and he actually wants it. He has had some really horrible things happen to him in his life...I mean I can see how his personality and self protection developed, he is so incredibly guarded.
I am not accustomed to that. I am not accustomed to having to guess the value someone places on me.

I am worth telling. I am worth the effort. I just don't know if he values himself enough to realize it. I also think that he is so used to no one ever nurturing him, he pushes back because he can't handle it.
Crap...maybe my concern and loving ways actually exhausts him.

I don't know where to begin in breaking down this post.