Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Big Phoenix said:

I'll wait until I see her start dressing different or putting on makeup.


Well see where this goes. I brought it up with her earlier and she more or less said its adjusting to the new circumstances.

She did buy me a plane ticket to go out and see her later this month.

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Zaara said:

So, 11 years in we finally announced to the fam that we're getting married.

Was given two options- big ass wedding a la my sister's, or parents will cut a check for the difference in what they'd pay for a smaller, more intimate event. Going with the second as I don't really have that much wedding hype.

Plan was to go to city hall and just get the legal ceremony out of the way, then do the event afterwards this spring. I was informed that this isn't an option and that both sets of parents and my sister/her husband have every intention of being present of the justice of the peace ceremony.

The problem is thus. A day after we announced this and the proper folks were informed, Maria hit Puerto Rico. His father and his partner are there at the moment. They're doing just fine- their house was up on a height of land, part of a recently-built complex, and sustained minimal structural damage. His dad's a smart guy and filled the gas tanks of every vehicle they had so they could keep the generator going, they're splitting up to hit the markets so they can get double rations. But they're not going to be leaving any time soon. His wife/partner (who, frankly, I have a bad history with) works in insurance. They own another house in the Florida panhandle, but no word yet as to when they'll be getting out. The wife's company sent down a private jet that offloaded supplies and picked up employees who wanted to get out, but I guess she opted to stay behind. Probably had to, given she's mid-level brass.

Thing is, there was a reason for the sudden rush to get legally married. The boy started a new job with the Red Cross recently, but the nice-ass insurance he now gets is not a +1 policy. We have to be married for me to be covered, and I am currently going without health insurance. This is something that could be rectified by me getting on MassHealth but after the fucking rigamarole I went through a few years back trying to get a policy through them, I don't have high hopes of getting covered in a relatively timely manner.

I know it's selfish as hell, but I am very uncomfortable going without insurance. We're now stalled in moving forward because we have to wait for his side of the family to get settled enough to come out here and be here for the event. Am I wrong in thinking they should 'be okay' with only being present at the after ceremony?

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Zaara said:

So, 11 years in we finally announced to the fam that we're getting married.

Was given two options- big ass wedding a la my sister's, or parents will cut a check for the difference in what they'd pay for a smaller, more intimate event. Going with the second as I don't really have that much wedding hype.

Plan was to go to city hall and just get the legal ceremony out of the way, then do the event afterwards this spring. I was informed that this isn't an option and that both sets of parents and my sister/her husband have every intention of being present of the justice of the peace ceremony.

The problem is thus. A day after we announced this and the proper folks were informed, Maria hit Puerto Rico. His father and his partner are there at the moment. They're doing just fine- their house was up on a height of land, part of a recently-built complex, and sustained minimal structural damage. His dad's a smart guy and filled the gas tanks of every vehicle they had so they could keep the generator going, they're splitting up to hit the markets so they can get double rations. But they're not going to be leaving any time soon. His wife/partner (who, frankly, I have a bad history with) works in insurance. They own another house in the Florida panhandle, but no word yet as to when they'll be getting out. The wife's company sent down a private jet that offloaded supplies and picked up employees who wanted to get out, but I guess she opted to stay behind. Probably had to, given she's mid-level brass.

Thing is, there was a reason for the sudden rush to get legally married. The boy started a new job with the Red Cross recently, but the nice-ass insurance he now gets is not a +1 policy. We have to be married for me to be covered, and I am currently going without health insurance. This is something that could be rectified by me getting on MassHealth but after the fucking rigamarole I went through a few years back trying to get a policy through them, I don't have high hopes of getting covered in a relatively timely manner.

I know it's selfish as hell, but I am very uncomfortable going without insurance. We're now stalled in moving forward because we have to wait for his side of the family to get settled enough to come out here and be here for the event. Am I wrong in thinking they should 'be okay' with only being present at the after ceremony?

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Zaara said:

It wasn't exactly toward to go 'YEAH BUT I AINT GOT INSURANCE' when we made the announcement, so we held off on telling my parents/sis about the situation until this weekend. They reacted in a pretty standard way- they're perfectly fine with his dad/dad's wife not being there, given all the details. But it's kind of a delicate thing, yeah? His father is aware I have been uninsured, but we haven't exactly taken the time to remind him of that fact in the phonecalls we have been able to have with him. They're dealing with shit like water lines and rations and shit like dead horses being found on people's roofs.

We're probably going to go through with it without them in the end, so it's a spot of angst that mostly comes down to social delicateness.

Ceremony will be another thing entirely. My guest list of about 30 will balloon to probably around 75-80, 'a family dinner' will become a catered fucking extravaganza with the goddamn flowers and cake and catering oh and maybe a band and wouldn't this or this or this venue be nice. Plusses and minuses of being the baby of the family.

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Zaara said:

Oh no, we aren't paying a dime outside of the obvious things like dressage and grooming. I'm a trust baby. The money for the wedding was set aside before I hit puberty.

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