Marriage and the Power of Divorce

chaos

chaos

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It sounds more like they viewed this as continuing a pattern. You mentioned several other issues at the school. I don't agree with it, but that's definitely how many schools/administrations discipline. Add to that the changing stories, maybe he doesn't want to tell you the truth.
 
Namon

Namon

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chaos said:
It sounds more like they viewed this as continuing a pattern. You mentioned several other issues at the school. I don't agree with it, but that's definitely how many schools/administrations discipline. Add to that the changing stories, maybe he doesn't want to tell you the truth.
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Yes that is where I am too. I think there is some common sense that Saturday detention is an absolute last resort. None of his trouble has been anything serious. Mostly joking around that went too far (ALL verbal stupid stuff not even name calling). He served one after school last year in November over a dirty joke. And the next incident was this year when he was told on for passing a note to a girlfriend he made at summer camp and he was so mortified that he lost his temper at the kid who told on him right in front of the teacher so boom detention. And that is my beef. This principals methods from top to bottom are flawed. They openly encourage kids to "report suspicious activity," and subtlety is not in my son's dictionary. And everything is treated like a major incident.

As far as the truth. I am fully convinced it is closer to my son's version than theirs. This is based on conversations that we have had since Tuesday and the fact that their stories have had holes in them too. It would take too much to explain but they openly deny something one time, then the next conversation they say it actually was true. And this is while I am trying to explain to my son 100% truth 100% of the time.
 
Namon

Namon

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iannis said:
Yeah, that's kinda dumb.

It's extremely dumb actually.

The kid shook his ass at him... "r u a faggit?" is a legit question. It is THE question that needs to be asked.

But you do have to realize that it probably wasn't some innocent around the lunchtable "psst, so do you think Jeffy takes it in the ass?" conversation. And the teacher must have directly witnessed some young boys about to go full jeering homophobe or else one of the kids at that table snitched on them. So either way, there is a lesson to be learned with a saturday detention. But tell your boy it's not about asking the question... there are ways those sorts of questions have to be asked. There are social conventions involved. And if someone snitched, then it's worth a few hours for the knowledge of who can't be trusted.
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This has actually ended up being the lesson I am trying to teach him along with not going along with the accuser just to get out of the station back home before "Good Times" is over
 
Cad

Cad

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Namon said:
To be honest I don't. That was the main thing that made this so stressful and annoying. He came home that night and the story was as I posted. The story the principal gave my wife was that he said that the kid was gay to the kids face (not faggot or queer or some other slur). So went in the next day to get it straight and my son redacted a bit, so I know it didn't happen exactly as he said, BUT this whole time the principal and teacher were not totally consistent with their telling either that I have decided the truth is in the middle. They just went nuts for damage control in case the kids parents got wind of this. However according to the principal this twerking kid is totally clueless to any of this happening, thus giving some credibility to the version our son told us that night.

When he was in the principals office at the very beginning it was obvious that it was the classic confession to the cops scenario. He just wanted to get out of there ASAP, so he told them what they wanted to hear, thinking he'd just get a slap on the wrist and when shit hit the fan he over adjusted too much with us. So we had no choice but to go along with the punishment because his changing stories made it impossible to defend. Personally I was all for it just to teach him that you NEVER stand in front of an accuser and admit to a crime like that. It sucked and I hated it because again i agreed my son was in the wrong because that kind of crap is none of his business, but was pissed they went full hammer on this and my sons waffling left me no room.

The problem at home was I was not ok with the punishment and I wanted him moved to a different class. Primarily because he has been getting in trouble a lot more this year and last, and the one consistent variable is this friend of his whose name always came up as one of the ones who always tells on my son in the first place. So I wanted to get them separated. Well being a straight A student, his teacher was not on board with that, but my wife took their reasoning hook line and sinker, and she tried to shame me into agreeing with it and all that accomplished was a massive fight. So if things continue (there have been lingering issues) we will be pulling him out and home schooling this year until he gets to middle school.
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I don't get it though, so what if he said he's gay to his face? You get sent to violent criminal alternative school for saying someone is gay now? What the fuck.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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In college there was a gay professor, very clearly gay. I don't care about that stuff so it was a non issue, in fact I only thought about when he was overly flamboyant.

Anyways, one class was 3 hours and we had a 10 minute break halfway through. My buddies and I would hit the snack cart and shoot the shit before going back to class. Just a lot of joking and laughing really.

One day we're in class and 3 police officers came barging in, pointed at us and commanded us to exit the classroom. You'd think we murdered someone. What came to light was the professor was planning to file charges against us for being homophobic to him. Huh?

I don't want to write a really long anecdote here, but basically the guy heard us laughing and claimed we were pointing at him and he heard "faggot". We met with the professor and a mediator and me and my friend were let off the hook as his real target was this dude Dave. Dave ended up having to take a special night class about diversity and if he failed to appear they were going to charge him, expel him, and we're talking hate crime stuff (we were kids at the time, now I know this wasn't a hate crime).

The thing is, none of this happened. No one even knew the professor. But he had it is his head that it did , and Dave took the fall.

This was 15 years ago, so times never change.
 
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Cad

Cad

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Noodleface said:
In college there was a gay professor, very clearly gay. I don't care about that stuff so it was a non issue, in fact I only thought about when he was overly flamboyant.

Anyways, one class was 3 hours and we had a 10 minute break halfway through. My buddies and I would hit the snack cart and shoot the shit before going back to class. Just a lot of joking and laughing really.

One day we're in class and 3 police officers came barging in, pointed at us and commanded us to exit the classroom. You'd think we murdered someone. What came to light was the professor was planning to file charges against us for being homophobic to him. Huh?

I don't want to write a really long anecdote here, but basically the guy heard us laughing and claimed we were pointing at him and he heard "faggot". We met with the professor and a mediator and me and my friend were let off the hook as his real target was this dude Dave. Dave ended up having to take a special night class about diversity and if he failed to appear they were going to charge him, expel him, and we're talking hate crime stuff (we were kids at the time, now I know this wasn't a hate crime).

The thing is, none of this happened. No one even knew the professor. But he had it is his head that it did , and Dave took the fall.

This was 15 years ago, so times never change.
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I have never even heard of anything like this happening. Am I sheltered in Texas where they'd probably laugh at a gay dude getting mad at being called a faggot? They'd be like, stop being a faggot.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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Cad said:
I have never even heard of anything like this happening. Am I sheltered in Texas where they'd probably laugh at a gay dude getting mad at being called a faggot? They'd be like, stop being a faggot.
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A college in Massachusetts so probably. We're like SJW central up here
 
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Namon

Namon

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Cad said:
I don't get it though, so what if he said he's gay to his face? You get sent to violent criminal alternative school for saying someone is gay now? What the fuck.
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That's been my exact quote the entire week, and it pissed my wife off, because down here you don't make waves. If you do, you are labeled and that terrifies her. I was ok with it being called out as inappropriate, and even having some punishment. And now it's dragging out because my son failed to do the work assigned to him in the Saturday school (and I'm not even 100% confident in the Teacher's story on that either because of some back tracking), and so she's been making him do it this week. I'm working with him tomorrow afternoon (half day of school), and once that is completed this case had better be closed. If i get even a whiff they are still doing shit to him over this, I am going to raise the fucking roof, I'm done being nice about this.

Cad said:
I have never even heard of anything like this happening. Am I sheltered in Texas where they'd probably laugh at a gay dude getting mad at being called a faggot? They'd be like, stop being a faggot.
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You probably are. I got dismissed from a job because me and three others were overheard questioning a man's orientation. This was in 1998. I just now thought of this, holy shit, my son gets it honest.
 
Haast

Haast

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Namon said:
You probably are. I got dismissed from a job because me and three others were overheard questioning a man's orientation. This was in 1998. I just now thought of this, holy shit, my son gets it honest.
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That's pretty extreme, unless it was a min wage job. Usually you would get "sensitivity training" or whatever.
 
Namon

Namon

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Haast said:
That's pretty extreme, unless it was a min wage job. Usually you would get "sensitivity training" or whatever.
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It wasn't much over. In my area, that's how it was, every job started out through a temp agency during your probationary period. You'd get hired on or let go when that ended, and they'd drop you at the first wiff of trouble too.
 
Alex

Alex

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Fuck if I have kids I'm leaving CA. I can't imagine how bad that shit is here in the Bay Area.

But mainly it would be the cost of living.
 
Cutlery

Cutlery

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Cad said:
I have never even heard of anything like this happening. Am I sheltered in Texas where they'd probably laugh at a gay dude getting mad at being called a faggot? They'd be like, stop being a faggot.
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What was the old Carlin line? "A fag was a guy who wouldn't go beat up queers with you?"

Something like that.
 
Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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*WARNING*
Long-winded rant out of frustration and a need to get this off my bony chest.
I, as you delightful bunch know, have been seeing New for several months. We only get to be together about once every 7 to 10 days because of our conflicting work schedules and as we are an hour apart. So when that happens, we pretty much just want to be by ourselves.
My family is giving me shit about it...if I mention him, their tone immediately changes..is cool, chilly even. I called my older sister on it tonight when I was talking to her. She gave me the "I don't know him so I can't decide if I like him or not, he seems nice...he needs to come around more." What you mean after his 12th day in a row of work, or my 60 plus hour week...sure that's what we want to do.
Mind you...I have ALWAYS been independent with regard to men. My family treated G like crap when he first came along. Didn't motherfucking stop me from marrying him...28 years with the man for crying out loud almost 26 married.
My strong will is not anything new to them. Yet, they pull this shit.
I love my family...I know this is their misguided way of protecting me, but I am a fucking 52 year old widow ffs. I desire to be happy, fuck, I actually think I DESERVE it.
I turned down some unworthy suitors before New...and even early on when I was with New...and my family knows it, they knew some of the suitors....evidence I have a certain level of discrimination.. WTF...why can't they just fucking trust me, and be GLAD for me. It is VERY frustrating. Yes, I WAS broken by G dying...a goddamn mess I was. Yes, I still grieve, but fuck...
Damn I hate that they think they have ANY say in this.
I should leave all my sex toys strewn about the house just to screw with their heads. I won't but it makes me giggle to think of it.
end rant...thank you.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Just stop bringing him up around them and don't worry about including them in that part of your life.

You are entitled to live your life, they aren't required to like him or act a certain way. If you don't like it, just eliminate the situation.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Doesn't matter how old you are. You will always be daughter/sister. Just roll with it. Bring New to a couple holiday dinners where everyone can bond (James or Gold) and get to know each other.
 
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Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

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Well he is invited to Thanksgiving as is his sister who is unattached at this time.
Their other sister lives away. They have no other family of which to speak. It ought to be interesting.
He is planning on coming. I have tried to warn him of what it will be like...raucous, loud sappy...with a fuckton of food and beer..wine.
Sigh
 
iannis

iannis

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Just tell em, no you don't understand. His dick is as big as my arm.

Good or bad, that would probably stop all conversation about him.
 
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