Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Dalven said:

I don't often post but here I am as a passenger on a 5 hour drive home in the middle of the night and I'm mad as fuck so here goes.

Tonight my now ex girlfriend left me for someone else. A bit of background - we've been together a year and a half, I run a touring cinema company and she is a failed musician/admin worker. We're both in our early 30s. Things were fine for the first 10 months - we went travelling together, enjoyed partying together and generally were happy spending time in each others company.

This all changed about the start of this year - she went down to London to play with some mediocre musicians (we live in Edinburgh). She made a few contacts, had a good time and came back and was quite happily working her day job and gigging at weekends. About 6 months ago one of these dudes in London got in touch and asked her to organise a tour of Scotland for his band and rather than paying her offered for her to put together a support band and split the proceeds 50/50. This guy claimed if she sorted the venues he had a ton of great PR agencies to promote it. She unsurprisingly jumps at the chance and I'm pretty enthusiastic for her. As time progresses this takes up more and more of her time and she quits her job. I wasn't delighted about this but she was scraping her rent with gig and dole money and I was pretty much paying for every other aspect of our lifestyle. She then falls out with her entire family over a heap of shite, I obviously side with her and support her through this. She then falls ill with a bit of cluster headaches (look it up, it's brutal) and I nurse her through the 3 month bout of this.

All this while I'm working myself into the ground doing 50-60 hour weeks as my business grows quick and very quickly becomes a constant ballache. I knuckle down to ensure me and her stay afloat. After a few months of this I've noticed changed in my demeanour - miserable all the time, don't have time to go drinking with my pals anymore, no time to read, go to the cinema. I can't even do anything with her because paying for both of us from everything become unaffordable. It affects us, we talk and we seem to get where each other are coming from and all is well.

6 weeks ago she goes on this tour and it's a massive flop. She's weeping in my arms the two nights she's back after the first couple of dates closer to home then she's away for two weeks. She makes it back, a bit more optimistic than when she left but effectively did 6 months work without getting paid and left us both struggling. The following two weeks she literally doesn't have a penny ti her name so I find myself putting my hand in my pocket again and getting us through it. During this time she's keeping in touch with some of the dudes she was touring with. I then depart to work away for 17 days.

The first 10 days everything seems fine, we talk every day as normal and then communication trickles off until the last 3 days she isn't answering my texts or calls. She's started a new job so I'm cutting her some slack but getting concerned. I pin her down on fb messenger last night and say I'm looking forward to getting back on Friday, what's she up to? she's acting strange, saying she'll come up and see me on Sunday and pretty much nothing else.

I try to call her a couple of times today but nothing and at this point I know something is up. I ring her and eventually she answers and I demand to know what's going on. Eventually she tells me she thinks it's not working out. I ask her if someone else is involved and she says yes. I immediately name the person from this tour she's been mentioning the most to me recently and she says no and she's not going to tell me. I eventually drag it out of her and it is indeed the guy I first named. He lives in London and she says she's gotten to know him well over FB and this is how she feels. She starts daying some bullshit about how we don't talk anymore and how I work too much. I demand to know if she cheated on me while touring and she still denies it but I'm pretty sure she's lying. Fucking bitching even phoned me up for money while she was away.

I'm about as angry as I've ever been. I just can't get my head around it. The bitch has clearly used me and has dropped me for some cunt she's known less than two months. Literally don't know what to do.

Tldr I'm a fucking fool. Cheers for reading

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