5yo was obsessed with making potions last week - no biggie, let him free his mind; but he was getting frustrated and tantrumed when I dumped them out. He had to test them he said; they had to sit overnight he said. He had eye droppers and test tubes and several odd shaped bottles filled with liquids.
He exclaimed and cheered when he droppered some on ants.
6:40 a.m., he woke up with a start and ran into the kitchen to check. Then he came into my room with a voice that sounded defeated. "I tried really hard," he said, " to make a potion to make mommy not sick anymore. I needed a potion to make her see (that) you're a good dad."
Tough to not get choked up. He was unshaken and wanted me to Google recipes. I diverted and talked about careers in medical research. He listened for a bit and then snapped back into kid mode.
This whole situation pisses me off. Move on and learn to not do it again. I know. But what I can't grasp is how come things can be not perfect. That's not how it's supposed to work. You're supposed to dig in and double down and tough it out and fix things. After 7 years of losing that battle, I know I made the right decision by leaving. Life is technically better now. I'm not walking on eggshells or fearing for my life. I sleep better and nowhere near as stressed. Time will heal, I know this. I will get another partner and I refuse to settle for scraps. There's actually much to look forward to and personal development to experience, but times like this one are tough and sets me back.
