Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Picasso3

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I think lopsided can be fair if someone is super ugly because the other person is obviously making a sacrifice just by being with you but i don't think that's the case here.
 
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iannis

Musty Nester
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lets not forget that noodle had to smear lotion in her crack, too.

The burdens this man bears.
 
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Noodleface

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I think lopsided can be fair if someone is super ugly because the other person is obviously making a sacrifice just by being with you but i don't think that's the case here.
You know from anyone else I'd just laugh, but you're the guy that zoomed in on a picture of me and my wife in my office and used it as your avatar for months before I realized it in all of it's blurred splendor
 
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Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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And loved every minute of it
vqGeMsr.gif
 
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Noodleface

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You guys will enjoy this. Saturday I helped my sister move and I was dead, so I went to bed early. Going up the stairs my wife said "you sure.you don't want to stay up" and I told her my eyes were basically closing and she went "fine." She has not dropped it about how I turned her down

HOWS IT FEEL BITCH
 
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yeahthatisneathuh

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Mine does that every opportunity she gets. She'll wait till the most inconvenient fucking time imaginable. It's 2AM and I get up for 6:30 at work: "Honey I'll take a shower and shave my legs, then we can bone." If I say no, it gets held over me for days in like a half kidding but disturbingly half serious way.
 

Namon

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Mine does that every opportunity she gets. She'll wait till the most inconvenient fucking time imaginable. It's 2AM and I get up for 6:30 at work: "Honey I'll take a shower and shave my legs, then we can bone." If I say no, it gets held over me for days in like a half kidding but disturbingly half serious way.
There ain't nothing better than wake up sex. The handful of times it's happened to me it was amazing. Nothing like waking up to titty in your mouth or wet pussy on the dick. Being a little sleepy the next day is totally worth it.
 
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Noodleface

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Allegedly I turned down my wife when I was legitimately asleep and she tried to get me to bone.

I've still yet to hear the end of that one
 
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Quineloe

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Our six year old twins just got chastised by my wife for leaving the 1 year old alone and the refrigerator door open while she took the dogs for a walk. Last week I came home after they went up to bed. Heard one of them was off the rails, screaming and crying, wife threatened to smack her if she didn't stop crying...she smacked her. Got the audio of that on video, entered the bedroom immediately after, all three girls crying while idiot wife is yelling and out of control. "I'd love for you to help." Took my girl off to another bedroom to calm her down, wife barged in with her shit attitude telling me how she has to be part of talking to her, told her to get out and don't disrupt me calming her down.

It's just fucked up how I married someone exactly like my dad. Goddamn ME.
at first I was confused why this poster with an unknown avatar for me got only negative reactions to this post, and then I notice 22 has once again changed his avatar.
 

Noodleface

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Mine does that every opportunity she gets. She'll wait till the most inconvenient fucking time imaginable. It's 2AM and I get up for 6:30 at work: "Honey I'll take a shower and shave my legs, then we can bone." If I say no, it gets held over me for days in like a half kidding but disturbingly half serious way.
I talked to her last night because she kept bringing it up.

Apparently she was wearing a thong (something she only does for me) under yoga pants (which are admittedly my favorite) and those were my clues. She said I should've been able to tell she wanted to be fucked like a whore.

???
 
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Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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I talked to her last night because she kept bringing it up.

Apparently she was wearing a thong (something she only does for me) under yoga pants (which are admittedly my favorite) and those were my clues. She said I should've been able to tell she wanted to be fucked like a whore.

???
Tell her, just to be safe, you'll always assume she wants to be fucked like a whore, regardless of her outfit.
 
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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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I talked to her last night because she kept bringing it up.

Apparently she was wearing a thong (something she only does for me) under yoga pants (which are admittedly my favorite) and those were my clues. She said I should've been able to tell she wanted to be fucked like a whore.

???

So she's telling you that she's "asking for it" "because of the way she dresses?"

I can't seem to figure out why men get such mixed signals from women.
 
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Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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You know from anyone else I'd just laugh, but you're the guy that zoomed in on a picture of me and my wife in my office and used it as your avatar for months before I realized it in all of it's blurred splendor

You didn't recognize your own wife for months and now she's upset because you didn't notice her outfit, take a hint man!
 
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Jackie Treehorn

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SO: I’ve seen the 23 year old (described several pages back) three times now. So far she’s way easier to deal with than most women I’ve dated in recent history. Despite studying and working 12 hour hospital shifts she makes time. Also, unlike the last woman I dated (who was 35) she actually gives an indication of where I stand without me having to guess what the fuck she’s thinking after three months.

I.E. this woman doesn’t ask for anything, she tells me she misses me when we haven’t seen each other in a few days, gives compliments, etc. She had a couple of big days at the hospital so I sent some flowers to her house yesterday and she snapchatted a flurry of thank yous and heart emojis. I’ve barely spent any money on her (we did have a simple dinner) and she’s plied me with wine and food at her house so I wanted to give back a little more.

So I’ve got various friends (male and female) who I’ve showed pictures of this girl to and told them this whole story. I’ve never had so many people tell me, which I found surprising from (3!) female friends telling me “you need to lock that down and get her pregnant.” I’m like dude! We’ve met up on three times and one real date (and had unprotected sex three times at that,) so let’s not get too crazy. I don’t know her that well yet to any extent, but at the very least I feel secure with her as she’s got $$$$ and I know things would be taken care of. We keep having unprotected sex and I have no idea if she’s on BC other than her telling me not to cum inside her.

Crazy / fun / slightly irresponsible but not times.
 
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Springbok

Karen
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You getting tested for STI's regularly? I now everyone here is Don Juan Demarco or whatever, but I've always known that any bitch who will let me hit it raw (which happened far too often) has to be letting plenty of bro's hit that ass without a rubber. Sure enough, eventually I caught HPV off one of those hussies and then gave it to my wife (the shitty pre-cancerous one). The annual pap smear is a really great time to stroll down memory lane with my wife and allows her the opportunity to get pissy about SHIT THAT HAPPENED 10 YEARS AGO KAREN
 
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