Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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I'm glad my kids are growing up with both parents. I couldn't imagine not seeing them everyday
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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That's something I was forced to think about a little while ago when a friend of mine got divorced and had to move a short way away for work. He talked about not being able to see his kids every day, and how that sucked so badly. I think I would go insane.
alavaz
Trakanon Raider
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It favors whoever has more to gain. Not sure about the religious fags. I don't think any religion let's fags marry.
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Alex
Still a Music Elitist
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Other way around. Florida becomes your first name. Simply "Florida Girl". Doomed to a life in ridiculous news headlines. Florida's favorite superhero.
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Hosix
All labs matter!
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I simply miss mine when they are with the ex. I cannot imagine them living out of state. That’s some heavy feels.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Oblio
Utah
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Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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It fucking blows, let me tell you. But there's something that blows even more than that.
On any given day, my youngest daughter cannot see one of her parents, both of which she loves equally.
You think your pain sucks? It fucking breaks my heart listening to her say on my weekends "I miss mom. And I miss you when I'm with her."
I'm mostly over the bullshit my ex pulled with me. But that one right there is gonna be a festering wound for a long goddamned time. That little girl didn't do anything to deserve that fate.
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Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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After a decade of it I wish I could say it gets easier man, but it doesn’t. Sorry you have to experience it.
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Only saving grace to that in these days is the ease of at least skype calls and such so you can see them daily just not physically (bandwidth / tech permitting). Hope to never have to deal with that outside of work travel.
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Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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Jesus, make me feel like a dick guys. My ex and I alternate weeks, minus Thursday. So, this week I have the kids every day but Thursday, and next week my ex has them every day except Thursday. I never go more than 3 days without seeing them, which seems perfect. Still though, by the end of my week I'm looking forward to having a nice quiet house and doing whatever I want, just having a break from being dad. On my ex's week by Wed and Sun I'm super missing them again. I feel like it works put really well, and I'm glad to have the 50/50 balance in my life... then you sad sacks make me question myself. Thought I was a superhero dad.... am I the villain?!
Cutlery
Kill All the White People
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Study after study shows that kids living in the same household as both of their parents perform the best by a wide margin. The kids are innocent in the divorce and love their mom and dad both.
Make no mistake, 50/50 is the best of a bad situation, but it's still a situation the kids didn't ask for and don't deserve. They're in this situation because mom and dad are both too selfish (some more than others) to put their bullshit aside for the sake of the kids.
Sometimes it's unavoidable, sometimes it's something you didn't ask for, but the result is the same...the kids are the victims.
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Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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I mean, I'm not saying that isn't the case, I'm sure that is accurate, but I also think every situation is different. My ex and I both had parents with awful divorces, her dad was a monster and they had to get the police involved, my mom was a monster and about drove my dad to suicide. Our marriage wasn't great for either of us, but we ended it before we hated each other and did everything we could to prevent our kids from hardships. The kids were young enough that they were excited that we got to have two houses now. I'm not saying they never experienced negative emotions or anything due to it all, but we made it as easy as we could. We still all hang out regularly, we've gone on trips together, and we just get along really well now that we aren't trying to force each other into the partners we wanted.
It's been 6 years, my kids are about to hit 9 and 11, and they are the most balanced kids I know. They both excel at school, one is obsessed with gaming and the other is all about arts and crafts. I'm not saying they can't be little shits sometimes, but I really would wager money that I could drop them off at a kids birthday party, and at the end of the day those parents are going to gush about how they were the only ones who listened, were funny, helped out, etc. We have lots of friends with kids, and almost all of them are fucking monsters. I watch other people and don't understand how they can be as terrible at being parents as they are. I've even had one set of friend invite us to dinner to have a talk, and the talk was "Are we doing something wrong? We look at your kids, and our own, and its night and day, how do you guys do it?" which was super awkward, because yeah, their 3 kids are probably the worst of anyone we know, and we tried to talk to them without offending and stuff, but all they wanted to hear was that they are doing everything right and that their kids are just harder to deal with. We talked in circles and got no where, they didn't want to critically think about stuff, they just wanted a Facebook style sounding board.
I guess what I'm saying is that while married people vs divorced people may be more positive as a general rule, every situation is different. I do believe my children would have a much rougher time if my ex and I had tried to stay married and pretend we weren't growing to resent each other for the kids sake. They would have come home to an unhappy house every day, instead they alternate between two much happier and healthier homes, where they know they are loved equally.
It's been 6 years, my kids are about to hit 9 and 11, and they are the most balanced kids I know. They both excel at school, one is obsessed with gaming and the other is all about arts and crafts. I'm not saying they can't be little shits sometimes, but I really would wager money that I could drop them off at a kids birthday party, and at the end of the day those parents are going to gush about how they were the only ones who listened, were funny, helped out, etc. We have lots of friends with kids, and almost all of them are fucking monsters. I watch other people and don't understand how they can be as terrible at being parents as they are. I've even had one set of friend invite us to dinner to have a talk, and the talk was "Are we doing something wrong? We look at your kids, and our own, and its night and day, how do you guys do it?" which was super awkward, because yeah, their 3 kids are probably the worst of anyone we know, and we tried to talk to them without offending and stuff, but all they wanted to hear was that they are doing everything right and that their kids are just harder to deal with. We talked in circles and got no where, they didn't want to critically think about stuff, they just wanted a Facebook style sounding board.
I guess what I'm saying is that while married people vs divorced people may be more positive as a general rule, every situation is different. I do believe my children would have a much rougher time if my ex and I had tried to stay married and pretend we weren't growing to resent each other for the kids sake. They would have come home to an unhappy house every day, instead they alternate between two much happier and healthier homes, where they know they are loved equally.
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Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Yes, there are exceptions to pretty much everything. Your situation is definitely atypical and I hope that your kids do great in life. Sounds like they are off to a good start(though your son being a gamer is concerning - that's basically entry-level Nazi).
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