Been divorced for just about 4 and a half years. The GF moved in with me about 3 years ago. Now she's starting to ask about getting married and my answer is pretty simple. It's a "how does that benefit me?" And she's getting pretty upset at her lack of ability to come up with an answer.
"I just want a commitment that we can take our relationship to the next level!"
Sure, I guess. But since everyone has the right to change their mind, these commitments mean nothing. Since they mean nothing, why get the government involved in my relationship?
"If something happens to you, I am just out on my ass!"
First of all, no. The house goes to my daughter, but she ain't gonna throw you out. It's a 5 bedroom house, I'm sure there's room for both of you while you grieve, and eventually you'll move on, and she'll have what she's supposed to have.
"We are building a life together!"
No. I built my life already. I had kids already. I bought a house already. I set myself up already. You are coming into this with...what? Admittedly, excellent cooking skills, and a submissive mindset, but that's about it. Why the fuck do you think we are building a life? You had your 20s to build a life, and now you're pushing 40 and panicking because I won't put a ring on it.
This is all coming 2 weeks after my sister's relationship ended in the most hilarious way possible. They were "married", as in, they had a ceremony, but did no paperwork. My sister owns the house, he pays her. She gets a call on lunch one day from a company asking for a rental reference for her "tenant."
Tenant? You mean my husband?
She calls him immediately and gets a "oh, uhh, I was planning to stick around until I found a place." And she said "either you can call your mom, or I will."
And what's the first thing everyone told her?
"Thank God you weren't actually married"
I'm really confused why she's so upset I won't marry her in light of all of this.
aronssolomon.com
