Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Eomer
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I would think so yes, but not overly familiar with the details. I guess I'm just thinking from the perspective of well, you've put down tens of thousands of dollars that you ain't getting back no matter what, not to mention friends and relatives have also come in to town and made plans, may as well just have the party anyways.
Doing that a couple months down the road? Yeah, that would be terrible.
opiate82
Bronze Squire
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I don't know the annulment rules/laws, and believe they differ from state-to-state. I know in both the cases I stated, they had to go the divorce route and couldn't do an annulment (here in WA). Don't know the details.
As far as the party, I just read a cool article where I think the groom got cold feet, and the family of the bride ended up putting on a catered meal/party for the local homeless shelter. One way to kind of make the best of a situation like that.
*edit link:http://newsroom.blogs.cnn.com/2013/0...iref=allsearch
As far as the party, I just read a cool article where I think the groom got cold feet, and the family of the bride ended up putting on a catered meal/party for the local homeless shelter. One way to kind of make the best of a situation like that.
*edit link:http://newsroom.blogs.cnn.com/2013/0...iref=allsearch
Xequecal
Trump's Staff
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Uhm, correct me if I'm wrong, but the wedding ceremony has no legal status whatsoever. You're legally married when you go down to the courthouse and sign the papers, whatever kind of ceremony you have is irrelevant. You can still have the ceremony and not need an annulment or a divorce.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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This is actually 100% correct. Friends of mine are getting married in October but they aren't signing the paperwork until January 1st. They have a kid together and apparently they lose out on a lot of tax benefits if they sign the papers this year or something (don't know if that's true or they just don't have their facts straight)
lindz
#DDs
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Yes and no. The actual ceremony is meaningless with regards to legally married, but you typically sign your paper work with the marriage officiant as part of the wedding. So yeah you can have a ceremony without any paperwork, but you'd probably have to make a special request not to have it done at that time.
Eomer
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Yeah, that's kind of how I thought it worked. For destination weddings and stuff it's often easier to just say "fuck it" and do the official legal paperwork at home instead of some Caribbean shithole, but otherwise most weddings you are signing the register or whatever and people are witnessing it, along with the justice of the pace, priest, or whoever. So if only one half of the couple was thinking of bailing, you'd have to sign that shit just to go through with it before backing out a couple days later when the hangover has worn off for most of your guests.
My first marriage... I honestly should have called it off but didn't because i had so much time and money invested in the whole thing, it was a destination wedding with a bunch of good friends etc etc. It ended less than a year later and ended up costing me about the same as the wedding and all that shit. The week long party after the wedding was pretty damn good, so whatever...
Julian The Apostate
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Jesus I feel terrible. She was over this morning and we went through all of our stuff to decide who keeps what. We got to a bunch of wedding and vacation photos of us and I couldn't keep it together. This shit is terrible. I would do anything in my power to make this shit work. Problem is I'd have to be a completely different person which will never last long term, even if I tried.
Julian The Apostate
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Sorry for the moment of weakness fellas. I have man'ed up and am staying true to the course!!!!
TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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When I got married I casually thought of what kind of balls I'd have to have to call it off last minute. Even if I wanted out there's no way I wouldn't go through the motions and end it there. Then again I wasn't in the frame of mind of someone who wanted to end it anyway.
To me I'd rather be the guy who got married and divorced a month later than be the guy who called off the wedding a day before.
Julian The Apostate
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Unbeknownst to me, she came into the marriage thinking that she could change me into her ideal husband and that shit was going to be different from the 2.5 years we lived together before we got married. A bunch of other issues came to a head, mainly us not being able to have kids together due to medical shit(thank God). I know that in a couple months im going to be so glad that we got divorced but right know it still sucks. When you get married you have a picture of how your life is going to pan out and when it doesn't work out that way it sucks. Ahh well, life goes on.
Edit: To answer your first question, she left me. I have a tendency to endure a shitty relationship even when it really needs to end.
Famm
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Oh wow, that's unusual. Really making me rethink my preconceptions now.
Dandai
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My wife didn't (to my knowledge) have any notions of changing me into her ideal husband, but she and I definitely had different notions of what married life would be like. We have since (been married for six years in Feb) ironed out the wrinkles fairly well, but I'm the first to admit that I can be hard to live with. The nice thing is she recognizes the same trait in herself. We've reached the point in our relationship where neither are trying to change the other; we just accept the things we don't like and redirect when the behavior wereallydon't like starts presenting itself.
Any time I start to feel overwhelmingly frustrated I remember my dad (4 time divorcee) asking a friend of the family, an older woman who was married 30-40 years before her husband passed away, how they managed to stay married so long. She told him that "it takes guts," and went on to say that your marriage will have hills and valleys just like anything else, but to cling to the memory of the hills when you're in the valleys and aspire to reach them again. Fight's are never a one-way street, and never go to bed angry. She was full of platitudes, but I can't say that I've found any errors in her advice so far.
Any time I start to feel overwhelmingly frustrated I remember my dad (4 time divorcee) asking a friend of the family, an older woman who was married 30-40 years before her husband passed away, how they managed to stay married so long. She told him that "it takes guts," and went on to say that your marriage will have hills and valleys just like anything else, but to cling to the memory of the hills when you're in the valleys and aspire to reach them again. Fight's are never a one-way street, and never go to bed angry. She was full of platitudes, but I can't say that I've found any errors in her advice so far.
